D-i-L cutting us off, no reason, how to respond?

sulphate

Soleil_lune wrote: »

Are you kidding? She called her son and daughter-in-law's baby her grand-daughter? So what? So would anyone and everyone else! People are really fishing for criticism and insults and put-downs here. Dear God!

And if my MIL suggested a name for a new baby, I may not use it or like it, but would I say 'shove it!?' No. Good grief. If the OP's DIL is anything like you and a few others on here, then she has definitely got a battle on her hands!

I just think it's interesting she says "my daughter in law does this blah blah blah but she won't leave my granddaughter with anyone else". Would have made more sense to use "her daughter" instead. It's not an insult, as I said it might just be a coincidence.

Of course I wouldn't use the words "shove it", it's an expression. I can't imagine how anyone thinks it's acceptable to suggest a name for someone else's baby and I would never dream of doing so. Most women I know who have children kept their kids' names a secret all throughout 2nd and subsequent pregnancies because they were sick of their family and friends expressing an opinion about the name of their first baby before it was even born.

You seem to be taking all this rather too personally

And someone has linked to the other thread for reference/context... So what? Taking a minute to look through someone's previous posts isn't exactly "detective work".

conradmum

sulphate wrote: »

I just think it's interesting she says "my daughter in law does this blah blah blah but she won't leave my granddaughter with anyone else". Would have made more sense to use "her daughter" instead. It's not an insult, as I said it might just be a coincidence.

Of course I wouldn't use the words "shove it", it's an expression. I can't imagine how anyone thinks it's acceptable to suggest a name for someone else's baby and I would never dream of doing so. Most women I know who have children kept their kids' names a secret all throughout 2nd and subsequent pregnancies because they were sick of their family and friends expressing an opinion about the name of their first baby before it was even born.

You seem to be taking all this rather too personally

And someone has linked to the other thread for reference/context... So what? Taking a minute to look through someone's previous posts isn't exactly "detective work".

It's perfectly natural for a grandparent to refer to a granddaughter as a granddaughter. She is, after all ... her granddaughter. To go around referring to grandchildren as a daughter in law's daughter etc. would imply a non-blood relationship, or be odd.

tea_lover

I'd say 'my sister and my niece', not 'my sister and her daughter'. I think it's perfectly natural to refer to your grandchildren as your grandchildren!

victory

tea_lover wrote: »

I'd say 'my sister and my niece', not 'my sister and her daughter'. I think it's perfectly natural to refer to your grandchildren as your grandchildren!

Of course it is:D sulphateit is said with pride, my grandaughter, my grandson it is perfectly normal

Morglin

Person_one wrote: »

Um, are you sure you weren't trying to offend? That sounds like a pretty good impression of it if you weren't! :rotfl:

I am a bit blunt, I admit, but I wasn't trying to offend - it's just that, over there, with all the health insurance, money is made by convincing people they need treatment (even if they don't!).

This allergy to everything was very flexible lol - it only seems to occur when a drama is required......:eek:

As I said, we are all getting used to each other, she is getting our droll English take on adversity (just have a glass if wine and chill, you don't need a therapist to advise the bleeding obvious lol), and, in turn, I am trying to be more Mother Walton and less Ma Barker.....;)

Lin

BrassicWoman

If she wants to be left alone then that is what you need to do. No stalking of family! And that's what unwanted persistent contact is.

Take your lead from your son.

sulphate

victory wrote: »

Of course it is:D sulphateit is said with pride, my grandaughter, my grandson it is perfectly normal

Okay, point taken.

dandelionclock30

BrassicWoman wrote: »

If she wants to be left alone then that is what you need to do. No stalking of family! And that's what unwanted persistent contact is.

Take your lead from your son.

OP is not stalking them, the DIL and Son have not said that they dont want any contact. Its normal to contact your son/dil if they have had a child. If they or the DIL doesnt want contact then they need to tell them straight.
As it stands the Grandparents are not stalking.

pollypenny

It's also sad for the little ones that they don't see much of their grandparents, whether in reality or on Skype.

GDS1 loves to talk to us, usually asking for grandad first, of course! Thanks to Skype, he or his little brother have never been strange with us when we first arrive.

Highlight of my life: GDS running full pelt down a corridor to me last January!

We are going to help out in July when DIL has to travel, as we did in January. Families do need to help each and OPs DIL might be making serious mistakes.

Soleil_lune

sulphate wrote: »

I just think it's interesting she says "my daughter in law does this blah blah blah but she won't leave my granddaughter with anyone else". Would have made more sense to use "her daughter" instead. It's not an insult, as I said it might just be a coincidence.

Of course I wouldn't use the words "shove it", it's an expression. I can't imagine how anyone thinks it's acceptable to suggest a name for someone else's baby and I would never dream of doing so. Most women I know who have children kept their kids' names a secret all throughout 2nd and subsequent pregnancies because they were sick of their family and friends expressing an opinion about the name of their first baby before it was even born.

You seem to be taking all this rather too personally

And someone has linked to the other thread for reference/context... So what? Taking a minute to look through someone's previous posts isn't exactly "detective work".

Yes, as most people have said, it IS perfectly natural for a woman to call her son's children her grandchildren, and I don't see anyone taking anything personally, or having issues, as your post with the sly wink was implying.

In fact from what you have posted so far, and the fact you said that you would tell your MIL to 'shove it' (which you clearly meant, even though you are trying to go back on it now, saying it is 'just an expression,') I would go so far as to suggest that you are the one that seems to be 'taking things personally' on this thread, and you clearly have issues. That's fine, but don't go projecting them onto me.

I suppose you'll be saying you didn't even MEAN what you said about how weird it is, that a woman calls her son's children her grandchildren next. :rotfl:

Oh and yes it is weird and a bit sad to trawl through a posters old posts, and come up with stuff like 'busted!' I also think it's hilarious that people do this. It's like they're desperate to get one over on someone, to make themselves feel big. :cool: