How to "get rid" of a "friend".

PlutoinCapricorn

Oldtractor, there is a lot of information online, and you may feel as if you had written some of it yourself. This is because it is a very common problem. For example:

" Your phone rings, you stop all of the work you are in the middle of, which needs to be finished yesterday, and the vampire says, "I was just thinking of you and wondering if you are okay. How's it all going." You speak for 1-2 minutes, glad to catch up and get a little bit of the stress off your mind. Their turn to speak and you can't even get a word in for 1-2 hours as they drain you of all you have. You slam the phone down feeling angry and hard done by but, after all, isn't this what friends do?"

Not only that, there is plenty of suggestions for dealing with them, that confirm what other posters have been telling you:

"Firstly say No to the desire they express to pop around for a cuppa (or shopping, or lunch etc.) Listen well here because you do not need to provide any reason or explanation to them at all. One word is enough - No. If they wish to find out why (expressly so they can argue or convince you otherwise), say to them something extremely blunt like, "Every time you come over you really overstay your welcome." If they continue to argue like a door to door salesman who doesn't want you to slam the door, feel free here to get even blunter by saying something like: "I regret the times I've helped you as I've received nothing out of the experience of knowing you. I won't be making that mistake again." You can smile sweetly because they now have gotten the picture - you want those energy suckers out of your life. If they still try to argue, don't even dignify this but walk away. You have said you piece, been honest, so let them deal with it and the beauty is, they will need to take your insults to someone else from now on to cry over them. Phew.

With today's phones, you can simply not answer when you see their number. So that is nice and easy. If they then try turning up to your home, step outside with them (don't let them in) and discourage them as in example 1 (see above)."

http://askingangels.com/psychic/energy-vampire.php#.U5XPufldVgg

bugslet

I think you can try and explain it to her - though it would take some bottle. Some people have no idea of social niceties and genuinely can't understand why they don't have friends; if you approach it from the stance of, 'you have a lot of good qualities, but x and x comes across as negatively and that you are just trying to help, she may have enough self realisation not to go off on one.

On the other hand, she may throw one almighty strop.

But you wanted to know how to get rid of a friend and there are a limited amount of options.

retireby50

Phonecalls are easy to deal with - just make a series of one hour recordings to play to her when she calls whilst you go off and get on with your life. The more ridiculous the better - start of with lots of "yes, oh, hmm, oh dear, how sad" on repeat then move all the way up to foxes mating.......

Even if it doesn't get rid of her it should cause some amusement for you and DH...........

You could even have a competition to see who gets closest to estimating how long she takes to notice that it isn't you......free entertainment, how MSE!

oldtractor

ViolaLass wrote: »

Why did you not eat when she was there?

because it would have ment offering her a sandwich of something

Kayalana99

oldtractor wrote: »

because it would have ment offering her a sandwich of something

Would it really of been that bad to of given her a sandwich?

But no, seriously, a simple ~ I'm in the middle of making my lunch I hope you don't mind. Would be sufficient...you don't HAVE to offer her something as well.

oldtractor

retireby50thats hilarious, at weekends when DH is home i already put the receiver down for a few mins go and brew up or something then pickj it up , sau yes a couple of times then put it down again, meanwhile its yak yak yak on the other end. DH says i'll get caught out one day by saying yes in the wrong place.
at least i'm laughing now instead of pulling my hair out, you really are a lovely lot of helpful people.
I'll keep you all posted as to how things develop.

libra10

Some years back an older woman started calling all the time. My children were young and she would stay talking about rubbish, and I found it draining and couldn't get anything done. She was calling every day, and stayed even when my husband returned from work, ready to eat his evening meal.

I used to go to night school but she wouldn't take the hint when it was time for me to set off. She sat talking to my husband, who was definitely not amused!

In the end I had to politely ask her to stop calling as it was becoming too much. It wasn't easy and I felt awful, but I had begun dreading opening the door.

Some people don't take hints, you have to be a little forceful, and it isn't easy.

Good luck

toniq

Hi Xyz , Sorry got alot on at the moment with family stuff will catch up some other time take care. (if she knocks or rings)

Februarycat

Your "friend" sounds just like my neighbour, she has latched onto me and does same sort of things as your friend, calling at meal times, or when I'm getting ready for work, or going out somewhere, phoning me up most days even though she lives over the road. It is difficult and I get cross with her some days, but can't bring myself to be rude to her. I have actually said to her before I'm having my lunch at the moment, but she carries on talking! Think my option would be to move but that might be a bit extreme!

Good luck and hope you can find a solution to it.

oldtractor

toniq wrote: »

Hi Xyz , Sorry got alot on at the moment with family stuff will catch up some other time take care. (if she knocks or rings)

Brilliant
:j