Feel bad for turning this woman down for the boxing; made a big mistake. Need advice?

elsien

It's not about defending yourself. You asked what you thought women in her situation might think, and we've told you.
If you want to call her, then call her. Just be prepared for a) no answer and b) thanks but no thanks.

kingslayer

duchy wrote: »

You made those mistakes out of immaturity......and the fact you think there is any real hope of a fourth date just underlines the fact. You say you think she wants "someone to just be there and treat her well. " Well you weren't there (three times) and you haven't treated her well.

Apart from the fact you want another chance.......and bearing in mind she's ignoring you - why on earth do you think she'd even consider giving you another chance ? What is in it for her ?

Yes, I know. I now feel horrible about the situation. I am sure she is hurt and that is what makes me feel the worst about it all.

I don't know why she would, but I can only hope. There is a lot in it for her if she gives me another chance. I WILL NOT let her down again, that's for sure.

I was thinking everything will be okay, not realising what I had actually done until late last night and this morning. Once I woke up this morning and realised she hadn't replied to me, It made me like sh*t to be honest. She has 3 kids and not much social life and I go and do that to her. I feel like a real pr*ck now.

kingslayer

elsien wrote: »

It's not about defending yourself. You asked what you thought women in her situation might think, and we've told you.
If you want to call her, then call her. Just be prepared for a) no answer and b) thanks but no thanks.

All I can do is be honest with her. :wall:

DUTR

kingslayer wrote: »

There isn't much point in trying to defend myself on here. I just need to speak to her. I want to call her, but I don't know what to say. I feel really bad about the situation as it is.

There is nothing to defend yourself about, your behaviour is unacceptable.
You can't or won't see it, it's not about just the way you treeat the person int he topic, it wouldn't be surprising if you treat others that way too.
I know a woman like you who always says yes to invites (from both genders) only to always let them down at the 11th hour, over time her friends have drifted away.

Does your explanation really matter? It won't change the past.

dandelionclock30

You need to move on and realize that no woman is going to put up with that. I think you may be better off sorting yourself out first and just stick to your friends and family.
She will just think you are a joker.

DaveTheMus

OP sounds cowardly........cancelling by text......pathetic thing to do.

thorsoak

kingslayer wrote: »

I am mature enough, of course I am. People make mistakes, and I made a mistake that i shouldn't have.

We spoke on the phone a few times and always had good chats, i made her laugh and the conversations were enjoyable. I don't know why you say i can't relate to her life. I don't think she wanted someone to relate to her life, but more of someone to just be there and treat her well. She told me that she just wanted to be friends and then see where things go.

I don't think she would be foolish to set up a fourth date. I understand that after yesterday it might be hard for her to meet me a fourth time, but I hope she does give me that chance.

Sorry, but all your posts indicate that you ARE immature. You've made mistakes, and you've tried to excuse them away.

Were I this lady, with my three teenage children I would not be wanting another immature person in my life. You might have had a chance, but you've blown it. Learn from it, and grow up. In a relationship, you cannot take things for granted.

kingslayer

If I just leave it, it just makes me feel like even more a d**k and I won't have a chance to explain myself to her. If I explain myself and tell her the real reason why, then sure, if she doesn't respond then I'll just move on, but i just feel that without explaining myself or apologising properly, my mind cannot be at ease.

burnoutbabe

I would not worry to much about it.

It was clearly a booty call. People don't invite strangers they met online over to their house for the evening if they want to date. She wanted a bunk up and you didn't provide. Plenty more fish in the sea for both of you.

Tiglath

I'd've cut all contact with you after the second letdown. The fact that you're not prepared to respect her boundaries (on here at least) shows that you're very immature and don't understand the adult world. She has 3 teenage children; why would she want to take on you with your issues, especially as you've shown yourself to be selfish and unreliable? Don't you think she has enough on her plate? Leave the poor woman alone - she's had a lucky escape.