The number...truth or lie??

lostinrates

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Marisco, oftentimes you have extremely incisive, valuable and interesting things to contribute to threads but on this one I totally disagree with you. I think you're talking absolute twaddle.

We're all entitled to one tiny corner of our lives that are private and not open to scrutiny which we can choose not to share with other people. Not even our lovers and long-term partners. But that does not necessarily make us dishonest. I think it's perfectly possible to have a satisfying adult relationship without someone needing to peer into our past, and very possibly passing judgement upon our choices. One lover or a hundred: it's our business and our choice whether to share or not.

Do you meana sort of metaphorical room of one's own?

Hmm, hadn't thought of it like that.

VestanPance

Anyone who hides any part of their life is deceitful and their partners should be very worried about what they are trying to hide and why.

Mojisola

Domayne wrote: »

I've been seeing a new guy for a few weeks now and I like him quite a bit.

VestanPance wrote: »

Anyone who hides any part of their life is deceitful and their partners should be very worried about what they are trying to hide and why.

Would you tell everything about your life to someone you had only known for a few weeks?

marisco_2

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Marisco, oftentimes you have extremely incisive, valuable and interesting things to contribute to threads but on this one I totally disagree with you. I think you're talking absolute twaddle.

Cheers for that :beer:

Guess we will just have to agree to disagree on this occasion.

Maz

What if, like me, you'd had partners who were unmemorable? If I was asked 'how many' I could only give a rough estimate.

VestanPance

Mojisola wrote: »

Would you tell everything about your life to someone you had only known for a few weeks?

If someone asked me something I'd answer honestly. I have nothing to hide and I'm not ashamed of anything I've done or not done.

DigForVictory

Am I sensing a subtle gender difference amongst all this? The blokes are reasonably willing to be "up front" whereas the lasses, knowing that judgements can be made, are being much more cautious?

At a few weeks into a relationship, "The Number" is a bit early.

ska_lover

I hate this question, purely because it is only ever asked so people can form an opinion or judge. I've never asked (because I don't care, and wold rather form my own opinion of a person based on other things than this number) and I have never answered either

peachyprice

Judi wrote: »

If I was asked I would tell them it shouldn't matter.


My husband asked me how many sexual partners I'd had before him pretty early on in our relationship. Although ive not had many, I'd had more than he had and he never let me forget it.

Exactly.

It's the kind of question to which the reply is all too often used as ammunition at a later date.

marisco_2

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

One lover or a hundred: it's our business and our choice whether to share or not.

Taking an interest in a persons background and asking questions of them is not to interrogate them, or because you have any intention to use their answers against them or to judge them. It simply just comes down to trying to get to know someone well enough, to conclude if you are going to be truly compatible with each other. Some people require a very open and honest relationship with their partner, others it would seem are happy to be more closed off to one another.

As with all things in life we all have different approaches, and as an adult you just have to decide what works for you and go with that.