The number...truth or lie??

notanewuser

Tink2 wrote: »

I don't think it's weird and creepy to want to know where your partner had been, in this day and age with how loose people are I think it's sensible

From one extreme to another!!!

There's actually no right answer, you know. I had a fabulous time in my early 20s and had lots of sex with lots of different people (lots). I didn't even know some of their names. I have never had an STD or pregnancy scare. I was involved with one guy who had only ever slept with his wife. We both had tricks the other hadn't experienced.

Tink2

notanewuser wrote: »

From one extreme to another!!!

How so????

Tiglath

I'm generally more interested in why previous relationships have broken down; if someone cheated on their ex, for example, it would make me cautious.

justme111

TrickyWicky wrote: »

Hey I never said I understand it myself, I just tell it the way it works

I am sure your strategy works for the purpose of finding compatible women

People , we all different. Some ask question to get to know the partner better , some ask as a selection.criteria , some don't ask as feel it is inappropriate , some volunteer info as the topic crops up in a discussion - its all fine., each to their own .
What I do not like though is when people start getting rude to ones that are not like them and use derogatory language in referring to them , thats rude.
We could have entertaining discussion about it but unfortunately people turn defensive/offensive (apart from lostinrates who always seems very reasonable in discussions )

Lovelyjoolz

I don;t see any reason why you should answer the number question. It's entirely private.

I understand a person wanting to know that their potential new partner has been practicing safe sex and are free of any nasties in the undergarments, and asking "have you been responsible" is acceptable. "With how many" is not.

lostinrates

justme111 wrote: »

I am sure your strategy works for the purpose of finding compatible women

People , we all different. Some ask question to get to know the partner better , some ask as a selection.criteria , some don't ask as feel it is inappropriate , some volunteer info as the topic crops up in a discussion - its all fine., each to their own .
What I do not like though is when people start getting rude to ones that are not like them and use derogatory language in referring to them , thats rude.
We could have entertaining discussion about it but unfortunately people turn defensive/offensive (apart from lostinrates who always seems very reasonable in discussions )

Oh my gosh, thank you. I can assure you I have my moments, And I do regret them. Its not a good reflection on me when they happen.

And for all I talk I don't say I a lot more than I do. Which is the only defence I have when I behave less than I would ask myself to on reflection.

Primrose

I have never been asked the number question but I think had I been, especially early on in a relatioship my response would have been "I'm a private person and I don't feel comfortable being asked that kind of question so early in a friendship any more than I would ask you what your salary is."
There are lots of other ways you can learn information about a potential partner if you are a reasonable conversationalist without having to get so up front and personal at such an early stage. By all means be honest and exchange information once a relationship has reached a stage where you feel comfortable with each other about opening up but really personal questions so early on are intrusive and bad manners. That's how I see it anyway.

Jitterbug123

Personally if you don't feel comfortable telling then let your partner know that.

It wouldn't make me uncomfortable to tell, but I don't actually know, except it's between 25-35.... My partner has slept with 17. It doesn't matter to either of us. I was far more interested in his serious relationships.