The number...truth or lie??

Mojisola

VestanPance wrote: »

Maybe they don't want to enter a relationship with someone who has had one nights stands, or friends with benefits etc. That's entirely within their right to decide that for themselves.

Isn't that the point - that those things are in the past?

If the person you're with isn't behaving in a way that you disapprove now, what does their past matter? Do you also check that they've never broken the law, always paid tax on their earnings, etc, or is it just sex that's a problem?

lostinrates

VestanPance wrote: »

Who cares why they want to know? The fact is they do if they are asking.
?

Who cares? The one asking why they care? What do they have to hide about why they are asking after all........:cool:

lostinrates

Mojisola wrote: »

Isn't that the point - that those things are in the past?

If the person you're with isn't behaving in a way that you disapprove now, what does their past matter? Do you also check that they've never broken the law, always paid tax on their earnings, etc, or is it just sex that's a problem?

When you think of the things you've never stopped to ask that would change the way about how you felt about a partner...


'Hey, did you.....ever inadvertently, um,,,,you, know, not saying you would have done it on ourpose but, um, well, eat eggs from caged birds? '

VestanPance

Mojisola wrote: »

Isn't that the point - that those things are in the past?

If the person you're with isn't behaving in a way that you disapprove now, what does their past matter? Do you also check that they've never broken the law, always paid tax on their earnings, etc, or is it just sex that's a problem?

People have all sorts of barriers when it comes to realtionships. For some it will be sexual. For some it will be others things. Many will be interested in someones past, be it for behavioural or criminal signs of who they are. Based on factual information they can decide if they want to enter a relationship with that person. It's entirely within their rights to raise any issue they feel is important, be it previous sexual history and behaviour or any other subject.

As I've said numerous times already. If the question bothers you then you should question your compatibility.

VestanPance

lostinrates wrote: »

Who cares? The one asking why they care? What do they have to hide about why they are asking after all........:cool:

They're not hiding anything in asking a question. They would be hiding by not answering a question. Surely you are intelligent enough to understand that.

If you want to know why they are asking you quite simply ask them. That's how questions work.

lostinrates

VestanPance wrote: »

They're not hiding anything in asking a question. They would be hiding by not answering a question. Surely you are intelligent enough to understand that.

If you want to know why they are asking you quite simply ask them. That's how questions work.

Its sad you feel moved to insult. There was tremendous irony created by your post.


I am intelligent enough to see your points, and intelligent enough to disagree with them.

As I said some time ago, if it works for us and and out partners so be it. My partner is content and I am content. I showed him this thread at the weekend and asked him if he felt I had been too intrusive/or evasive or too open or not open enough and I had one of the best compliments I have ever received. I feel content that my attitude to relationships has only let me done once, when I ignored my own instinct. .

Lily-Rose_3

VestanPance wrote: »

Who cares why they want to know? The fact is they do if they are asking.

Maybe they don't want to enter a relationship with someone who has had one nights stands, or friends with benefits etc. That's entirely within their right to decide that for themselves. They might decide based on uyour actions they don't want to be your partner, but then that's why you're willing to lie to them isn't it?

Wow, judgemental much? :rotfl:

And excuse me, but where exactly did I say that I am 'willing to lie' to a new partner about how many men I have slept with? I didn't say that! You are getting so desperate to get your points across that you're making stuff up now!

And if some man DID decide he didn't want to be with me because he did not like the amount of men I had slept with (that is if I 'had' slept with a lot,) then I wouldn't want to be with him anyway.

Why WOULD I want to be with such a judgemental, high and mighty creepy pervert who is desperate to know how many men I have slept with, almost as soon as I meet him, so he can judge me!

Moreover I reckon a man who is so desperate to know how many men his new female partner has slept with, has probably had a lot of partners himself, but he would still regard HER as trashy if she had had a lot of sexual partners.

As I said, you sound incredibly judgemental. I do wonder if you're male or female. Either way, you are still incredibly judgemental. And as lostinrates says, you are now resorting to personal insults. I am now finding it very hard to take your posts seriously, as you seem to be deliberately flaming and provoking. There's a name for posters like you.

VestanPance

lostinrates wrote: »

Its sad you feel moved to insult. There was tremendous irony created by your post.


I am intelligent enough to see your points, and intelligent enough to disagree with them.

As I said some time ago, if it works for us and and out partners so be it. My partner is content and I am content. I showed him this thread at the weekend and asked him if he felt I had been too intrusive/or evasive or too open or not open enough and I had one of the best compliments I have ever received. I feel content that my attitude to relationships has only let me done once, when I ignored my own instinct. .

I answered the question, which was an answer to a rather lame attempt to counter my previous point. There was no insult.

lostinrates

Lily-Rose wrote: »

As I said, you sound incredibly judgemental. I do wonder if you're male or female. Either way, you are still incredibly judgemental. And as lostinrates says, you are now resorting to personal insults. I am now finding it very hard to take your posts seriously, as you seem to be deliberately flaming and provoking. There's a name for posters like you.

He's a guy, and i don't become offended by his posts because what he has told of his feelings towards people after a relationship breakdown, I cannot remember any detail, but I do remember its unfortunate.

Ozzuk

Domayne wrote: »

Thank you
It wasn't really resolved as such - My answer was just to not bother answering his texts. He sent me one on Saturday with a sad face smile but I haven't heard from him since
I think I have some extreme issues though because I'm finding it impossible to feel any kind of closeness/connection with anyone since my ex and I broke up over 2 years ago. Any guys that come near, I push them away and this isn't really the first questions about myself that I close up on and 'run away' so to speak. I think I need to work on this before I even bother attempting some kind of 'relationship' =/

I was also worried about this, dated lots of people via online over the past few months and was worried that I didn't have it in me anymore. In fact I recently finished with someone who was perfect on paper but there was just no spark, chemistry.

I'm kinda seeing someone now that I met through a social group, we became good friends over a period of time and something good has built up and it feels like there is a lot of chemistry. I'm realising maybe online dating wasn't the best way to meet people for me and its better to get to know someone without pressure first as a friend. Or, equally, it could be that this person I am just clicking with.

Either way, I'm sure when you meet the right person the feelings will be there, you haven't lost anything, you're just a little more guarded maybe and not willing to just open up for anyone. Enjoy being you, have fun, and it will all be awesome