The number...truth or lie??

VestanPance

Lily-Rose wrote: »

Wow, judgemental much? :rotfl:

And excuse me, but where exactly did I say that I am 'willing to lie' to a new partner about how many men I have slept with? I didn't say that! You are getting so desperate to get your points across that you're making stuff up now!

And if some man DID decide he didn't want to be with me because he did not like the amount of men I had slept with (that is if I 'had' slept with a lot,) then I wouldn't want to be with him anyway.

Why WOULD I want to be with such a judgemental, high and mighty creepy pervert who is desperate to know how many men I have slept with, almost as soon as I meet him, so he can judge me!

Moreover I reckon a man who is so desperate to know how many men his new female partner has slept with, has probably had a lot of partners himself, but he would still regard HER as trashy if she had had a lot of sexual partners.

As I said, you sound incredibly judgemental. I do wonder if you're male or female. Either way, you are still incredibly judgemental. And as lostinrates says, you are now resorting to personal insults. I am now finding it very hard to take your posts seriously, as you seem to be deliberately flaming and provoking. There's a name for posters like you.

Everyone is judgemental. What we judge on is different, but we all judge. Just as you are doing in this post.

Thanks for backing up my point that if the question bothers you then you most likely aren't compatible.

Lily-Rose_3

lostinrates wrote: »

He's a guy, and i don't become offended by his posts because what he has told of his feelings towards people after a relationship breakdown, I cannot remember any detail, but I do remember its unfortunate.

I thought he was a guy. I just didn't want to assume.

What you say in your post explains a lot! No need to take it out on others though, just because he has had a crap time in a relationship. It does explain the vitriol and bitterness coming from him though.

Still, I am finding it hard to take his posts seriously now, as he seems to be purely flaming and provoking and making stuff up to suit his agenda. And how can anyone take posts seriously from a poster called vestanpants LOL? :rotfl:

I am done here. I seriously can't talk to someone who is just out to flame and bait because of his problem with past relationships, and who invents things to suit his argument.

To be honest, I am not offended either: I find his posts rather laughable and pathetic actually.

As I said, I am done here.

VestanPance

You can run away all you want if you can't handle the debate. Nothing I've posted is made up.

lostinrates

Lily-Rose wrote: »

I thought he was a guy. I just didn't want to assume.

What you say in your post explains a lot! No need to take it out on others though, just because he has had a crap time in a relationship. It does explain the vitriol and bitterness coming from him though.

Still, I am finding it hard to take his posts seriously now, as he seems to be purely flaming and provoking and making stuff up to suit his agenda. And how can anyone take posts seriously from a poster called vestanpants LOL? :rotfl:

I am done here. I seriously can't talk to someone who is just out to flame and bait because of his problem with past relationships, and who invents things to suit his argument.

In all seriousness, I am not bashing him. And WILL not enter a character assassination. People can temper their reactions how they choose, but I feel compassion is relevant.

And cannot agree with a lot of what you say. In one sense I strongly agree with him, we are a judgemental species. Some judgements its possible to give more weight to than others, and for that reason I am not offended by the posts but try an extend the hand of forum conversation. .

Domayne

Ozzuk wrote: »

I was also worried about this, dated lots of people via online over the past few months and was worried that I didn't have it in me anymore. In fact I recently finished with someone who was perfect on paper but there was just no spark, chemistry.

I'm kinda seeing someone now that I met through a social group, we became good friends over a period of time and something good has built up and it feels like there is a lot of chemistry. I'm realising maybe online dating wasn't the best way to meet people for me and its better to get to know someone without pressure first as a friend. Or, equally, it could be that this person I am just clicking with.

Either way, I'm sure when you meet the right person the feelings will be there, you haven't lost anything, you're just a little more guarded maybe and not willing to just open up for anyone. Enjoy being you, have fun, and it will all be awesome

Thanks ozzuk
I'm happy that you have found someone you have a connection with, I'm finding out that 'spark' is not that easy to find xD
I have a guy that on paper we would be a perfect match (my fwb) he's like my best friend, I feel super comfortable with him and trust him more than I trust anyone. My mum/best friend are convinced that we will get married one day - he even said it but idk...he doesn't make me feel alive, give me butterflies and I don't really think much about him if we are not together =/
Maybe I expect too much but idk, I don't want to be stuck in a relationship with someone who doesn't make me feel that, it's how I felt with my ex - even after 4 years and I don't want to feel like im just 'settling' because it's comfortable or something

Lily-Rose_3

VestanPance wrote: »

You can run away all you want if you can't handle the debate. Nothing I've posted is made up.

I am not 'running away:' I literally have nothing else to say. I genuinely cannot take anything serious that you say, because you are purposely flaming and baiting.

And you ARE making stuff up: in one of your posts that I quoted, (a few posts back,) you said that I said I am 'willing to lie to a partner about my past sexual partners,' and I never said that. So yes you ARE making stuff up to suit your agenda.

Carry on trying to convince yourself that you are right and everyone else is wrong. As I said, I am finding your postings rather pathetic and lame, as well as deliberately provocative, and this is in addition to you making stuff up to suit your argument.

And now I really DO have to go.

And I AM done on this thread now. Not because I am 'running away,' (which is what you are telling yourself,) but because I have nothing else to add to the thread, and frankly, you're boring me.

VestanPance

I'm not making stuff up to suit my agenda at all. I've been very clear and kept it simple. If the question arose you can:

a. Answer honestly.
b. Lie, or refuse to answer and still want to date the person (the only purpopse of which is to decieve the other person into the relationship).
c. Don't answer and end the relationship as you find the question uncomfortable and this in turn points to serious incompability issues.

It seems many on here would choose 'b', which I find rather disappointing.

Domayne

VestanPance wrote: »

I'm not making stuff up to suit my agenda at all. I've been very clear and kept it simple. If the question arose you can:

a. Answer honestly.
b. Lie, or refuse to answer and still want to date the person (the only purpopse of which is to decieve the other person into the relationship).
c. Don't answer and end the relationship as you find the question uncomfortable and this in turn points to serious incompability issues.

It seems many on here would choose 'b', which I find rather disappointing.

I think reading through most of the answers on here, most people would choose C...
or maybe there should have been

D - make a joke ie - less than my age and more than my shoesize- then run for the hills screaming...

VestanPance

Domayne wrote: »

I think reading through most of the answers on here, most people would choose C...
or maybe there should have been

D - make a joke ie - less than my age and more than my shoesize- then run for the hills screaming...

That comes under 'c' for me. You've not answered and call it quits as you have every right to do.

lostinrates

D reach a compromise and start communicating in the finer language of those in a relationship, where boundaries are drawn, like commas to pause, or full stops to remain and where you start seeing if its a language you can learn to speak fluently in.