The number...truth or lie??

VestanPance

You should be honest in any question you are asked. If you are not honest in your answer (like most people on here seem to be suggesting) then it suggests you are not only untrustworthy, but embarrassed about who you are and the actions you have taken in life.

Indie_Kid

VestanPance wrote: »

You should be honest in any question you are asked. If you are not honest in your answer (like most people on here seem to be suggesting) then it suggests you are not only untrustworthy, but embarrassed about who you are and the actions you have taken in life.

But surely things like this early in relationships, should stay private? I personally wouldn't answer it. Why does it matter how many people I've slept with?

VestanPance

Indie_Kid wrote: »

But surely things like this early in relationships, should stay private? I personally wouldn't answer it. Why does it matter how many people I've slept with?

If it matters to them then like any other topic that could come up you answer honestly. If the questions make you uncomfortable then maybe you need to rethink your compatibility.

Not answering any question, be it this or anything else, would scream to me of the person trying to hide something about themselves.

lostinrates

VestanPance wrote: »

You should be honest in any question you are asked. If you are not honest in your answer (like most people on here seem to be suggesting) then it suggests you are not only untrustworthy, but embarrassed about who you are and the actions you have taken in life.

Maybe it suggest you consider the question untrustworthy and it suggests insecurity and embarrassment on use part of the asker?

I really feel there are some things its ok not to answer if you feel its too invasive.


For example, if I asked you your rl name and address here I wouldn't interpret you as being evasive and untrustworthy or embarrassed. How much we choose to expose is determined by intimacy and time.

I wouldn't answer the question to anyone and everyone, I have discussed it with my husband. There is middle ground!

VestanPance

If you aren't embarrassed about yourself and your actions in life then what's not to answer about any question?

lostinrates

VestanPance wrote: »

If you aren't embarrassed about yourself and your actions in life then what's not to answer about any question?

Why are we here under pseudonyms?


I'm very content with my previous choices, ( which isn't the same as saying I'd make all the same ones in retrospect, I would not) But they do not define all of me, they are simply a part of my past, not the summation of it. Thus, I'm content to discuss them with my life partner (in a way that doesn't break a confidentiality of a precious partner) but not have them printed on a t shirt along with net worth or DNA ( and no, I haven't committed any crimes either!)

VestanPance

So you advocate lying to someone who you may be entering into a long term relationship with? At what point is the relationship significant enough that you'll disclose your lies and deceit to your partner?

lostinrates

VestanPance wrote: »

So you advocate lying to someone who you may be entering into a long term relationship with? At what point is the relationship significant enough that you'll disclose your lies and deceit to your partner?

No, I do NOT advocate lying. I advocate deflecting or saying that you don't want to discuss it and, as I think I made clear in my first post in this thread not necessarily being quite so harsh as its quite possibly not a judgement about you the other person is making, but wondering about themselves. ( equally unnecessary but easier perhaps to be understanding over).

NiallB

Just reassure him that he's got the biggest one you've ever seen, that's all we blokes really want to know

System

These days I imagine I'd be pretty vague about the actual answer as it's not exactly something I'm proud of (let's just say I made a few mistakes when I was ill and went off the rails..)

Bf does know the number but he also knows I prefer not to talk about it.

I wouldn't ask someone, I really don't care. I know I certainly don't want to be judged on past mistakes so I'm not about to judge someone else on theirs.