The number...truth or lie??

bagpussbear

I wouldn't answer this question, ever, and nor would I ask! Thankfully I've never been asked, and would probably do the same as you and make a joke/dodge the question.

It's irrelevant really, isn't it?

marisco_2

Mojisola wrote: »

He knows her now - if he likes what he sees in front of him, why should the number of partners that she had years ago change his opinion of her?

Have you really told your OH "all that occurred" in your life in the years before you met him?

There is nothing to say, that the number of partners the OP has previously known, would change this guys opinion of her. She will only discover that by answering his question. If she chooses not to do that, then he may just accept her wish to not say, or start to wonder why she cant just give a straight forward answer to him.

I am single. However when I've been in a relationship my partner has known all about my past. I have nothing to hide or any need to keep things hushed up, so take an honest and open approach. Doesn't work for everyone and that is up to them, but it has and will always be my way

lostinrates

marisco wrote: »

There is nothing to say, that the number of partners the OP has previously known, would change this guys opinion of her. She will only discover that by answering his question. If she chooses not to do that, then he may just accept her wish to not say, or start to wonder why she cant just give a straight forward answer to him.

I am single. However when I've been in a relationship my partner has known all about my past. I have nothing to hide or any need to keep things hushed up, so take an honest and open approach. Doesn't work for everyone and that is up to them, but it has and will always be my way

My husband and I have talked about sexual pasts and partners. We've met some of each other's ex lovers and yet there hasn't been total openness. He does know who we have met who I have slept with. I think its 'open and honest' however, he hasn't asked for any personal details. There is open and honest and invasion of a third parties privacy to consider too!

Frogletina

Why not reply - do you mean since I've met you or before?

miss_independent

This is a topic which came up recently with a friend and interestingly enough we found we were both ashamed of our "number", she felt hers was too high and I felt mine was too low (1)! She was worried guys would think she was a !!!!!! and I was worried that men would think I was a prude/inexperienced. So I suppose you can't win. I remember when I was about 19 one of my guy friends saying if he fell in love, he would tell the girl he had slept with 4 women when actually he had slept with at least 50. I felt he should be honest but he pointed out that he felt most women wouldn't want to be with him if he told the truth.

BitterAndTwisted

It's a bloody impertinent question to be asked by anyone, a newish partner or an established long-term one.

My response would probably be something like; "Oooh, dunno. *Long pause.* Possibly under a hundred, I'm not really sure".

The only reason for being asked this by a man is that he's insecure about the low number of lover's he's had, so likely will feel intimidated by someone who might be more experienced than he is. Such a man is a berk and is therefore to be avoided.

Domayne

Frogletina wrote: »

Why not reply - do you mean since I've met you or before?

I can imagine this one would go down really well! :rotfl:

I think I might use it actually! xD I've come to the conclusion that, if he really liked me, it wouldn't make any difference to him. and if it bothers him, then it's his own problem really and he obviously isn't 'the one'?
Thank you all for your responses!

annie_d

I have always lied. Been married for quite a while so the question hasn't arisen recently.
I lied so often i forgot the actual truth.

(I have it written down though)

skint_chick

If he asks again then just say 'I've had x number of serious relationships, is there a reason you're asking?' maybe he's trying to check you're comfortable talking about sex and don't have unprotected sex with any old stranger! People can sometimes ask things in a clumsy way. My DH has no idea how many people I've slept with, I was his first because he waited for a serious relationship. If he asked I would tell him but he never did. I think he would be surprised but I don't think he would judge me for it because he knows I would never cheat so it makes no difference now

Top_Girl

I would say definitely less than a ballpark.