The number...truth or lie??

VestanPance

So in not answering you are trying to hide the truth about yourself from a prospective partner. You want to base yourself on myth, not the truth.

tea_lover

I've never been asked, by anyone...can't imagine why anyone would! Good job really, I haven't got a clue :rotfl:

thehappybutterfly

If he asks again "hang on while I find my calculator" or pretend to count them in your head and mutter "so that's 1997. Now, 1998 there was....."

What a cheek! In some ways you cant win - too many and you're a !!!!!!, too few and you're a prude!

lostinrates

VestanPance wrote: »

So in not answering you are trying to hide the truth about yourself from a prospective partner. You want to base yourself on myth, not the truth.

Nope, its unanswered. My partners have been intelligent enough to realise a lack of answer is not an answer but a lack of one.


Just as they have probably realised on meeting me I wear clothes to cover my body in public but I do indeed have a body underneath the clothes.



Obviously, your prerogative is to feel differently and expect from and to give dates full disclosure on first dates. Your date will take about a lifetime to discover everything about a really interesting and evolving person! But let's say in the first evening a full itemised statement of your worth, how you have voted and arrived at that decision in past elections, your opinion of faith, lack of faiths and faiths other than your own, you favourite colour of course, your favourite food, etcetc etc.

If by the time you get to number of partners the date is still there I suggest you NEVER let her get away! you are obviously made for each other!

As it is, my suggestion has worked well for me, is NOT a lie, how ever you choose to try and turn it into one.

thehappybutterfly

I have a number in my head which Im sure is right but when I try and name them all, I come up 2 short! Trouble is I cant write them down - what would my husband think?!

marisco_2

lostinrates wrote: »

No, I do NOT advocate lying. I advocate deflecting or saying that you don't want to discuss it )

All that would achieve is to put totally unnecessary barriers up, and quickly lead someone happy and wiling to be completely open with a partner, to question what kind of relationship they were investing time in. I'd walk away very fast from anyone with the above approach to relationships, as nothing worthwhile or long term would ever be likely to evolve.

lostinrates

thehappybutterfly wrote: »

If he asks again "hang on while I find my calculator" or pretend to count them in your head and mutter "so that's 1997. Now, 1998 there was....."

What a cheek! In some ways you cant win - too many and you're a !!!!!!, too few and you're a prude!

Or, IMO, you cannot lose, none or few you have been discerning and many you have been adventurous and open to opportunity balances too few ( prudish or no opportunity) or too many ( slutty or something wrong with you)

Safely, consensually we should accept people make different choices and its ok, and where they don't feel ok, they can change their future attitudes, And THAT's ok.

VestanPance

The fact you won't answer tells the story that you are embarrassed of yourself and you past actions.

The fact so many people are so forth coming in their lies and deceit only confirms my stance to remain single and that people are inherently untrustworthy.

lostinrates

marisco wrote: »

All that would achieve is to put totally unnecessary barriers up, and quickly lead someone happy and wiling to be completely open with a partner, to question what kind of relationship they were investing time in. I'd walk away very fast from anyone with the above approach to relationships, as nothing worthwhile or long term would ever be likely to evolve.

Well, its worked for me in the past marisco. .

Barriers and boundaries are NOT unnecessary in relationships! especially in the early days IMO. And if someone doesn't respect privacy or comfort levels then that too is a worrying sign!

I would say its partly about context though and how you relate to people/partners. So perhaps that's where our common ground might lay.

lostinrates

VestanPance wrote: »

The fact you won't answer tells the story that you are embarrassed of yourself and you past actions.

The fact so many people are so forth coming in their lies and deceit only confirms my stance to remain single and that people are inherently untrustworthy.

Whereas I feel that you feel that the automatic conclusion is that people are thus untrustworthy shows the difficulties YOU have discussed with your attitude to relationships!