The number...truth or lie??

Domayne

I've been seeing a new guy for a few weeks now and I like him quite a bit. Yesterday the conversation of 'how many lovers have you had?' Came up and I dodged the question by making a joke and changing the subject.
Only one guy has ever asked me this question before and in truth I think it put him off of me a little even though he never said it, things cooled down after that.
What do you say when this conversation comes up?! Do you tell the truth and hope that the guy accepts that its a part of you/your past and does not judge? Or do you lie so that he/she doesn't think more negatively of you?

susieq87

:rotfl:for me it all depends on the number and which social groups you belong to. where i'm from anything with two digits is alot so if a lady has had more than 9 partners you lie. i would like to say tell the truth but (where im from) telling the truth does put guys off and they think you are easy/promiscous and wouldnt want to have a long term relationship with you. personally i think this is stupid and immature but it is what it is. i tend to stick to 4 and they'll be the fifth. it has been four for the last how many years! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
im interested to find out what everyone else *grabs popcorn*

FBaby

I wouldn't answer, not after a few weeks in the relationship. It is to me like asking how much is on my bank balance. There are some questions that do need to be asked that early on (or even later!).

A man asking me that question after only a few weeks would be a total turn off.

Mojisola

Domayne wrote: »

Yesterday the conversation of 'how many lovers have you had?' Came up and I dodged the question by making a joke and changing the subject.

What do you say when this conversation comes up?!

None of his business.

Morglin

I just used to tell them I had had the entire England football team, but only on a good night......:rotfl:

Just tell them to mind their own business......:whistle:

Lin

themull1

I would lie, ha ha, I was a virgin with my first three boyfriends....

BigAunty

Very invasive and potentially judgemental question. Shame you seem to have to contemplate 'lying' as a valid option and are worried about their reaction to information that they have no right to know.

Are there any other aspects of their behaviour, however minutely and minor, that have troubled you?

Diplomatic answer would be that you'd prefer if he could focus on the present and look forward to the future...

But so soon into the relationship and they are making you feel uncomfortable?

BigAunty

themull1 wrote: »

I would lie, ha ha, I was a virgin with my first three boyfriends....

How about 'do you mean with men or women?'

Georgiegirl256

FBaby wrote: »

I wouldn't answer, not after a few weeks in the relationship. It is to me like asking how much is on my bank balance. There are some questions that do need to be asked that early on (or even later!).

A man asking me that question after only a few weeks would be a total turn off.

Exactly this.

To me, that's a question you might ask in a more established relationship. If someone asked my early on it would be a big turn off and I'd be wondering why he wanted to know if not to judge me on the answer.

Domayne

If I tell him to mind his own business would he not just imagine its worse than it is though?
Im thinking to lie...its not like ive been with a LOT of guys, like triple digits or anything. Over the last 8 years I've only been with two...but in my late teens/early 20's I did go a little crazy and the number is up there...is it bad to omit all the casual flings and only tell about the more serious ones who actually meant something?

Kabazzzz

I remember having this conversation with my friends and I was actually quite shocked at some of their numbers!

Having said that, living in a semi rural area would mean that any potential partner with a high number has probably been around my social circle and in which case I wouldn't be in a position to have that conversation with them as I would automatically take a wide berth!!


Knowing that it has affected what I have thought of guys in the past, I would lie (even though my number is a fraction of some of my mates!).