The number...truth or lie??

Tropez

My wife's never asked me that question and I'm not sure I'd care to answer it if she had.

It's a meaningless number and doesn't really reflect anything about a person. The vast majority of my "number" came from when I was in my teens because I was a horny teenager and there were a number of girls who were available.

It all tailed off rapidly and significantly in my early 20s and I think it had been maybe a year or more since I'd slept with anyone when I met my now-wife... so it just seems rather unnecessary?

I do know my wife's "number" - never asked, don't care, she told me one night anyway. As long as it doesn't increase, everything's fine.

bargainbetty

VestanPance wrote: »

Anyone who hides any part of their life is deceitful and their partners should be very worried about what they are trying to hide and why.

This is an extremely sweeping statement and says a lot more about your paranoid worries than it does about a person who wants to keep their past in their past.

I don't talk about the bloke who threatened to kill me and I had arrested. I don't talk about the bloke who lied to me, deceived me and turned out to be married. I don't talk about several bad experiences because I don't think it's relevant or of interest to the person I am dating.

I've been asked this three times. The first time I said it was more than Mother Theresa's but less than Madonna's. The second time I joked that if he was worried about living up to my past shenanigans I'd be happy to give him a written report each time with advisories and the third time I just looked the man in the eye and asked why it mattered.

None of the three ever asked again. I did not spring fully formed from the loins of Zeus yesterday. I have had a past, none of which I am ashamed of, despite your assertions that I 'must' have something to hide. It is entirely my choice what and how much of my history I share with anyone. It is not deceitful, I am not lying. I retain my privacy until it is relevant to do otherwise. Likewise, I respect someone else's right to the same privacy, and would never dream of asking.

geerex

It's a fair question.

There's no way I'd ever consider getting into a relationship with the village bike, although I'd probably give her a go or two...well she's likely to be easy. Not marriage material though.

System

geerex wrote: »

It's a fair question.

There's no way I'd ever consider getting into a relationship with the village bike, although I'd probably give her a go or two...well she's likely to be easy. Not marriage material though.

In your supreme wisdom, what do you class as a 'village bike?'

tea_lover

geerex wrote: »

It's a fair question.

There's no way I'd ever consider getting into a relationship with the village bike, although I'd probably give her a go or two...well she's likely to be easy. Not marriage material though.

Don't worry, I don't think the potential wives will be queuing up.

This_Year

Judi wrote: »

My husband asked me how many sexual partners I'd had before him pretty early on in our relationship. Although ive not had many, I'd had more than he had and he never let me forget it.

My partner asked me this and I was honest as he said it wouldn't matter.

He lied. It is a form of ammunition.

tayforth

Out of interest, what do men think about women who have a very low 'number'?

(I do, that's why I'm asking)

tea_lover

tayforth wrote: »

Out of interest, what do men think about women who have a very low 'number'?

(I do, that's why I'm asking)

Just to hijack (sorry Tay!)... would also be interesting to know what people consider to be a high number. Over 5? Over 10? Over 50? Does 'high' mean different things for men and women?

System

tea_lover wrote: »

Just to hijack (sorry Tay!)... would also be interesting to know what people consider to be a high number. Over 5? Over 10? Over 50? Does 'high' mean different things for men and women?

I should imagine that's down to the individual man to answer. I know in my husbands case he'd class any man I'd had sex with other than him was one too many.... that includes my ex husband.

tea_lover

Well yes, of course everyone will think something different I would imagine... that's why I'd find it interesting to see the different opinions. In the same way I find the range of opinions on the 'appropriate wedding outfits' threads interesting.

Of course, it's highly likely that I need to get out more! :rotfl: