The number...truth or lie??

marisco_2

alwaysskint96 wrote: »

Why is it so important?

Why would you want to keep anything about yourself, from someone you were in a relationship with. If they care enough about you to want to know you on more than just a shallow level, then that is reason enough to just answer them honestly.

I've not led a sheltered life by any means, but there really isn't that much to tell either. If a partner were to ask me questions in an attempt to get to know me better, that really isn't a massive deal to me, or something I would have any issue with at all.

System

he asked me things like have I done it 'from the back', Have I ever done it out in public, would I ever have a 3some etc
What do I think? What would you think if a guy asked you questions like this?

I suppose he's just trying to find out your likes and dislikes. Nothing wrong with that.

Mojisola

Domayne wrote: »

So last night the question came up again and he said he noticed that I avoided it, why didn't I want to tell him? I intended to be honest because I really don't want to start on some foundation of lies but I panicked and found myself giving him an arbitrary number of 5 which he didn't seem to think was that many, but .then he started asking other questions like how old was I when I lost my virginity, how long was I with the guy, have I done this and that...I lied to ALL of these questions, the only questions I answered honestly were about my ex.
He text me this morning, just hi how are you? but I haven't replied yet because I feel so stupid and awkward

His questions have made you feel uncomfortable. You've only known him a few weeks. How much do you trust him? Do you want to risk finding your picture and details of your previous sexual experiences shared on Facebook or Youtube?

SuzieSue

Judi wrote: »

I suppose he's just trying to find out your likes and dislikes. Nothing wrong with that.

Yes, once they have slept together or if they are watching a !!!!!! film together. Outside of those things I would find it creepy and intrusive.

Buzzybee90

SuzieSue wrote: »

Yes, once they have slept together or if they are watching a !!!!!! film together. Outside of those things I would find it creepy and intrusive.

Really really creepy, and just inappropriate.

lobbyludd

OP, again - it doesn't matter what anyone else would feel about those questions - it's how you felt at the time that matters.

Those questions in that context made you feel flustered and embarrassed, it is very unlikely that anyone with half a gram of emotional intelligence did not pick up on how you felt after the first question. He certainly noted that you evaded the initial question. and then he asked more - this isn't flirting (which is a 2-way thing and absolutely requires the correct interpretation of the other persons feelings and responses).

so at best he's completely unable to pick up on your emotional cues (doesn't bode well for any relationship) at worst, he doesn't care....

might be time to ask yourself exactly what you like about him - you don't feel at ease in his company.

System

Yes those sort of questions you dont reveal to just anyone unless there's a degree of trust between you.

geri1965_2

He sounds like a weirdo and a pervert. I would run a mile.

lostinrates

marisco wrote: »

Why would you want to keep anything about yourself, from someone you were in a relationship with. If they care enough about you to want to know you on more than just a shallow level, then that is reason enough to just answer them honestly.l.

Ever close the door when you go to the loo? Ever want a bath or shower in peace? Do you invite a partner to your toenail trimming sessions? There are lots of occasions when I might want to keep things to myself, even things I'm happy to do normally infront of my partner.


Who I am is greater by Far than the number of partners I have had, who it am might partly be that I am discrete?( edit theoretically. I wish I said less often!)

Anatidaephobia

I don't think his choice of topics of discussion are necessarily a problem. What IS a concern is the fact that he wants to talk about things that makes the OP uncomfortable. As someone said on page 6, either he's rubbish at picking up on other's people's feelings and didn't realise the OP was uncomfortable with the choice of topic (which is completely possible), or - worse - he wasn't too bothered. OP, if you see him again, and he continues down this vein I think you need to be honest and tell him that you don't want to talk about stuff like that. If he's a decent guy, he'll respect your feelings.