The number...truth or lie??

lostinrates

TrickyWicky wrote: »

Hey I'm a bloke.. we're supposed to have hammered half the planet senseless and be a god in bed right?

Wouldn't matter to me.

I might be put off by a guy who was purporting to be experienced but didn't know 'which way was up' but I'm 'communicative enough' to not really worry about that either .

The only thing that mattered to me is compatibility, in bed, and beyond it. Ability to be satisfied by the same kinda stuff, mutual respect, love, interest in each other. It wouldn't bother me if 'mr right' ( a concept I don't believe in) was a virgin or a 'half the planet senseless' type. Relationship history might interest me more though. How things had ended, if he spoke of his exes well, acknowledged his mistakes as well as slamming theirs, or if he'd got over them or not. And sexual health concerned me always.

Toucan_Pecan

I dated a guy who threw a strop about my exes. I dated him for a bit then we broke up and years later I got back with him... after a while he told me that because I'd had sexual contact with 2 other guys since (No penetrative sex of any kind, so to me it was pretty much nothing!) that I was 'ruined'. I was indignant, but thought it was because his self-esteem had taken a bashing. He was dropped after it because it became apparent that he would openly talk about his sexual experiences but couldn't handle the thought of mine. It got to the extent that I suggested he met an ex of mine to truly see that there was nothing to worry about (i.e., I wasn't pining after the guy!), he flew into a rage and said "YOU DON'T KNOW ME AT ALL!". Nothing would shift that perception of his, so after a while I realized he was pretty unwell and his attitude was making me feel unwell too. Bizarre man.

JIL

TrickyWicky wrote: »

I know some of you women will resent me for this but when i met my girl years ago yes I did ask her.

Why? because I was serious about her. I didn't want to waste my time on a girl that was clearly going to go with any bloke that had a lump in his trousers. I also didn't want to be with a sl*t who was putting it about as much as possible and letting any old so and so empty his load in her.

Sorry if that sounds harsh but it's the truth! Blokes aren't keen on sloppy seconds but we're even less keen on a girl that everyone else has apparently ridden. Yes it sounds terrible I am well aware of that but a bloke who is serious about a woman wants to know that she's capable of committing to being 'his'.

If it's a casual sh*g / friends with benefits thing then it doesn't really matter how many she's been with but then likewise, I'd never want to get into a relationship with someone like that either.

Likewise however (and this may shock the women readers) I also think that the woman has the right to ask, know and feel the same way about us blokes. Yes I asked her but then she decided to ask me in return and I gave her an answer (actually I lied the first time and boosted the numbers a bit before admitting a week later that the number was actually a lot lower lol).

There were also other questions such as drugs. I've never touched them, she did try one once and that was a bit alarming for me to be honest but she did say it put her off and she'd never tried anything since.

What double standards, you lie and bump up your figure, but you dont want to have a relationship with someone who is putting it about a bit?

edited to add, noticed I am not the only one that noticed this.

Indie_Kid

TrickyWicky wrote: »

I know some of you women will resent me for this but when i met my girl years ago yes I did ask her.

Why? because I was serious about her. I didn't want to waste my time on a girl that was clearly going to go with any bloke that had a lump in his trousers. I also didn't want to be with a sl*t who was putting it about as much as possible and letting any old so and so empty his load in her.

Er, how does having been with quite a few men mean she's going to go with "any bloke that had a lump in his trousers"?

TrickyWicky

JIL wrote: »

What double standards, you lie and bump up your figure, but you dont want to have a relationship with someone who is putting it about a bit?

It's an imprefect world. I have faults At the time I figured I should boost the number by a couple to make myself sound better. I was young and stupid but you were perfect at that age right?

Indie_Kid wrote: »

Er, how does having been with quite a few men mean she's going to go with "any bloke that had a lump in his trousers"?

It doesn't mean that at all but it does give you an idea as to whether the person is a sex mad monster who may cheat on you or respectable.

As i mentioned in my post, I knew another girl (flatmate) who would pretty much go with anyone - paid or not! To meet her / look at her you'd never know it. She had plenty of fellas but none of them ever lasted because she would get bored and start prowling for another bloke. How many people here would really want to get involved with someone like that? - I wouldn't!

geoffky

If you have to ask the question...You will not like the answer..

JIL

TrickyWicky wrote: »

It's an imprefect world. I have faults At the time I figured I should boost the number by a couple to make myself sound better. I was young and stupid but you were perfect at that age right

No where do I suggest I was perfect. At any age.
It just really winds me up that a man can sleep around, as much as he wants and he is a stud, his pals slap his back like he is some kind of macho man. Perhaps that's why you lied, why would you sound better if you had more knotches on your bed post? Does a woman have more appeal if she has less?
A woman on the other hand if she sleeps around, she is a slapper, a tramp. Not someone to be worthy of a long term relationship.
Wheres the difference and why are they treated so differently.

Buzzybee90

JIL wrote: »

No where do I suggest I was perfect. At any age.
It just really winds me up that a man can sleep around, as much as he wants and he is a stud, his pals slap his back like he is some kind of macho man. Perhaps that's why you lied, why would you sound better if you had more knotches on your bed post? Does a woman have more appeal if she has less?
A woman on the other hand if she sleeps around, she is a slapper, a tramp. Not someone to be worthy of a long term relationship.
Wheres the difference and why are they treated so differently.

I'm not sure they are - I was just talking with my other half and we both agreed we would be put off by men and women that had slept around.

System

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

I'm not sure they are - I was just talking with my other half and we both agreed we would be put off by men and women that had slept around.

but how does anyone know the cut off point? How many people does it take to sleep around?

VestanPance

Judi wrote: »

but how does anyone know the cut off point? How many people does it take to sleep around?

I think for some people it's not so much the number, but how they arrived at that number. I know men and women who wouldn't be interested in entering relationships with people that had casual sex or FWB's in their past.

For some casual sex, one night stands, friends with benefits etc is what they consider normal. Others view that as a turn off in a prospective partner.