The number...truth or lie??

Domayne

This thread has been quite eye opening!
How it seems is that to women, the number doesn't matter.
To men, it does because it shows what kind of person you are? LOL
For the record, no matter how many people I've been with, I never cheated on my bf or had any desire too. Just because I might have been wild in my youth, doesn't mean anything of who I am today, in fact I am really REALLY boring.
There are so many judgmental people in the world and if I'm ever asked again - my default answer will be five
It really doesn't make a difference to who I am NOW!

rachiibell

TrickyWicky wrote: »

Then there is the single vs spoken-for man thing. Walk into a bar by yourself or with the lads and not many women will give you a look. Walk in with a woman on your arm and they'll all check you out. Whats with that? - Many women (not all) have an unconscious preference for men who have been about a bit thats what.

Maybe they are checking her out not you? I barely ever bat an eyelid at men - in a group, alone or with another woman. But I frequently notice things about other women ie. that's a nice dress, love those shoes.

TrickyWicky

rachiibell wrote: »

Maybe they are checking her out not you? I barely ever bat an eyelid at men - in a group, alone or with another woman. But I frequently notice things about other women ie. that's a nice dress, love those shoes.

Er well when she's not with me but they know of her and they're trying to flirt... whats with that?!

I had to change some aspects of my life to avoid one, I swear she was a bunny boiler.

lostinrates

TrickyWicky wrote: »

Er well when she's not with me but they know of her and they're trying to flirt... whats with that?!

I had to change some aspects of my life to avoid one, I swear she was a bunny boiler.

There ARE some odd women like that. Others just feel able to relax, be friendlier and joker knowing you are 'put of the dating pool' and so clearly just a friend. Its still very poor form to flirt IMO.

seven-day-weekend

Domayne wrote: »

I've been seeing a new guy for a few weeks now and I like him quite a bit. Yesterday the conversation of 'how many lovers have you had?' Came up and I dodged the question by making a joke and changing the subject.
Only one guy has ever asked me this question before and in truth I think it put him off of me a little even though he never said it, things cooled down after that.
What do you say when this conversation comes up?! Do you tell the truth and hope that the guy accepts that its a part of you/your past and does not judge? Or do you lie so that he/she doesn't think more negatively of you?

Personally I would say (in a nice way), that it is none of his business. It's your relationship and his that matters, not what you did (or not) with someone else.

I have been married over forty years and neither myself nor my husband know how many (if any) sexual partners we had before each other. It is irrelevant to our relationship and always has been.

seven-day-weekend

tayforth wrote: »

I'd be pretty appalled, tbh.

I'd tell him it was none of his business and then run a mile.

onomatopoeia99

Domayne wrote: »

This thread has been quite eye opening!
How it seems is that to women, the number doesn't matter.
To men, it does because it shows what kind of person you are?

As a man, it doesn't matter to me and I wouldn't ask a hypothetical future girlfriend. What went before doesn't matter, it's how she is now, with me that's important.

Were I asked, I'd tell the truth. Partly because I'm hopeless at remembering what lies I've told so would get caught out and partly because it's a part of who I am so what's the point in hiding things from someone I want to be in a relationship with. My number is exactly equal to the number of serious relationships I've been in because (and I realise this is some kind of massive man-fail admitting this) I'm not interested in sex with someone I'm not at least well on the way to falling for.

With some of the other questions he has asked about past experiences, I think the person you are seeing is (somewhat ineptly) exploring what you are interested in, because we all have different kinks and want different amounts / types of sex. This is possibly something best faced head on as it's best to know if he wants something that you're not prepared to do, or vice versa. After a misunderstanding in the past, I always try to be open in this regard so there isn't a "oh, you don't like ........" moment when things are intimate, even though being very shy it's really difficult for me.

lostinrates

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

e (and I realise this is some kind of massive man-fail admitting this)

No. Its not. That's the point, its NOT. Its who you are. Who you have been.


There is no 'fail' in understanding yourself, surely.

VestanPance

lostinrates wrote: »

No. Its not. That's the point, its NOT. Its who you are. Who you have been.


There is no 'fail' in understanding yourself, surely.

No it's not, but much like those annoyed in this thread that society frowns upon women who have slept around. The same society does the same with guys that don't want to go and bed every woman they meet. Pretty much exculsively from other men right enough.

I've had all sorts of comments thrown at me due to knocking back "open goals" over the last few years.

lantanna

If anybody ever asks me this - I always tell them its more than my shoe size but less than my age. Personally though I wouldn't want to know how many partners someone else had had. People will always feel people to lie to increase it or decrease it and personally I don't think its anybodys business and sometimes you'd also be better off not knowing !!