The number...truth or lie??

JIL

VestanPance wrote: »

I think the OP should be honest. To all those that give advise to provide so called "funny" answers or avoidance tactics then my guess is this will set alarm bells off about dishonesty, or trying to hide something. Those are poison in any relationship, no matter how funny you think you're being. If you are so uncomfortable answering any question asked by your partner then maybe you need to consider your compatibility with that person.

Based on further information the OP provided I do think her boyfriend sounds like a bit of an immature idiot. Going on his other questionsl:

I would not be discussing previous sexual relationships with someone who does not have a right to the information. She hardly knows this man, and from what she does know about him he is immature. They aren't even lovers in a sexual relationship themselves.
Its not about compatability in a relationship, they haven't even got to that stage yet.

TrickyWicky

lostinrates wrote: »

There ARE some odd women like that. Others just feel able to relax, be friendlier and joker knowing you are 'put of the dating pool' and so clearly just a friend. Its still very poor form to flirt IMO.

Friendlier and joking? One woman pulled up outside my place while I was sat in my car and tried to chat me up - drivers window to drivers window :eek: I'd just had a spat with the missus (who was watching out of the window too) and was about to drive off in a huff when it happened.

She was the neighbour of my mate about 20 doors up and when I mentioned it to him a few weeks later he 'fessed up that she'd actually asked him to set her up with me He even told her I was in a relationship but that didn't stop her pulling up and trying it on :mad:

Women are a very strange species.

VestanPance

JIL wrote: »

I would not be discussing previous sexual relationships with someone who does not have a right to the information. She hardly knows this man, and from what she does know about him he is immature. They aren't even lovers in a sexual relationship themselves.
Its not about compatability in a relationship, they haven't even got to that stage yet.

He asked a question. It's a very simple question. She either answers honestly, deceives someone to trick them into a relationship with her or decides she's uncomfortable with the question and him and walks away. It's very simple.

There are certainly a lot of people trying to bury their past from partners in here. I pity the partners and the deceit and lies they are entangled in.

meritaten

TrickyWicky wrote: »

Friendlier and joking? One woman pulled up outside my place while I was sat in my car and tried to chat me up - drivers window to drivers window :eek: I'd just had a spat with the missus (who was watching out of the window too) and was about to drive off in a huff when it happened.

She was the neighbour of my mate about 20 doors up and when I mentioned it to him a few weeks later he 'fessed up that she'd actually asked him to set her up with me He even told her I was in a relationship but that didn't stop her pulling up and trying it on :mad:

Women are a very strange species.

and Men are even stranger.

meritaten

VestanPance wrote: »

He asked a question. It's a very simple question. She either answers honestly, deceives someone to trick them into a relationship with her or decides she's uncomfortable with the question and him and walks away. It's very simple.

There are certainly a lot of people trying to bury their past from partners in here. I pity the partners and the deceit and lies they are entangled in.

'he asked a question'
Did you read the post? he didn't ask a question, he interrogated her from the sound of it. about her past sexual relationships when he isn't even in a sexual relationship with her! that is NOT on. he made HER feel uncomfortable, now is that a normal courtship?
I am all for being honest - but in an established relationship. when you know each other and know who you both are. and even then, to my mind past relationships are irrelevant. both parties have a 'past'. and that past shapes you as a person. but, while one person may have a past with many relationships or even 'ships that pass in the night', it doesn't mean they are any less trustworthy. I think its a question that is not acceptable. I have never asked my OH that and he hasn't asked me. but, as we live in a village I do know some of his ex girlfriends. I wouldn't dream of asking if he slept with them. and as for whether they had anal sex...............words fail me.

JIL

VestanPance wrote: »

He asked a question. It's a very simple question. She either answers honestly, deceives someone to trick them into a relationship with her or decides she's uncomfortable with the question and him and walks away. It's very simple.

There are certainly a lot of people trying to bury their past from partners in here. I pity the partners and the deceit and lies they are entangled in.

It may be a very simple question, but its still none of his business.
Really don't agree with you on the deceit issue. I don't think my previous lovers or my partners matter to our relationship. There's no deceit, there's no lies. It just doesn't matter. Its irrelevant.

VestanPance

JIL wrote: »

It may be a very simple question, but its still none of his business.
Really don't agree with you on the deceit issue. I don't think my previous lovers or my partners matter to our relationship. There's no deceit, there's no lies. It just doesn't matter. Its irrelevant.

It's irrelevant to you, but not to them if they are asking.

VestanPance

meritaten wrote: »

'he asked a question'
Did you read the post? he didn't ask a question, he interrogated her from the sound of it. about her past sexual relationships when he isn't even in a sexual relationship with her! that is NOT on. he made HER feel uncomfortable, now is that a normal courtship?
I am all for being honest - but in an established relationship. when you know each other and know who you both are. and even then, to my mind past relationships are irrelevant. both parties have a 'past'. and that past shapes you as a person. but, while one person may have a past with many relationships or even 'ships that pass in the night', it doesn't mean they are any less trustworthy. I think its a question that is not acceptable. I have never asked my OH that and he hasn't asked me. but, as we live in a village I do know some of his ex girlfriends. I wouldn't dream of asking if he slept with them. and as for whether they had anal sex...............words fail me.

Try reading the thread and my many other responses before making an idiot of yourself.

jaylee3

VestanPance wrote: »

Try reading the thread and my many other responses before making an idiot of yourself.

Harsh ^^^ There are some b1tchfits going on here tonight.

JIL

VestanPance wrote: »

It's irrelevant to you, but not to them if they are asking.

And why are they asking? What use is the information to them so very early in a relationship. What the heart doesn't know the mind can't grieve about. The past should be left where it is. By discussing it it becomes part of the relationship. Move on.