My Ex hubby & father to my child won't give me his new address

duchy

arcon5 wrote: »

'Father of my child'

A sentence like that speaks volume - not your child, both of yours child.
So the 'father of our child' won't give the new address.


Anyway it all sounds a bit raw at the moment

This thread gets more bonkers by the moment :rotfl::rotfl:

duchy

Mojisola wrote: »

Same as lots of women can become mothers - doesn't mean they are all good parents.

Where did I say that it did ?

Didn't I say somewhere gender is the least important thing in this discussion ?

marisco_2

duchy wrote: »

This thread gets more bonkers by the moment :rotfl::rotfl:

arcon5 made a very relevant point. Things like the TV, sofas, beds, white appliances can be referred to as 'mine', when a couple splits up. To speak of a child who is part of both its mum and dad, and that loves them equally, in any other way than 'our' is not appropriate. It leads to the child feeling torn between the two people, that it should be able to rely on to be a strong team around him/her, even though they are not a couple any more.

DUTR

Billie-S wrote: »

I am with the OP here and many of the posters. I wouldn't agree to my ex husband (if I had one) taking our children somewhere if he wouldn't tell me where it was. As many have said, it seems rather odd, and it suggests he is hiding something. It's nothing to do with control or mind games, it's a matter of peace of mind and security. How strange that he is so secretive about his new address. Never heard that one before, and I would question why.

Perhaps is because you are not looking outside the box, the couple have split, we don't know why, but something tells me it's to do with one party getting 'managed' by the other and has decided to leave, have an affair or whatever, sadly this management seems to be behind the major causes of breakdowns in relationships that I see on here, there is talk of redudancy, bills to be paid, watch it all come crashing down over the months, as 15% net is not likely to pay the mortgage and running costs of a home as well as help with the raising of a child. Looking at other threads, it does seem some are 'allergic' to paying their own bills on a date, so perhaps the OP may have another 20 years or so of the single ish life.
I do hope the OP and her ex sorts out their silly power struggle as the bottom line is it is not to do with worry over the child and where they are at, it's just an extension of the power struggle.

duchy

If I speak of MY son -it means he is mine not the woman next door's . It doesn't mean he is solely mine but equally I wouldn't describe him to his father as "Your son" (well not unless he'd done something really bad )

If someone says to me "Who is that child?" I'll say he's MY son but if my ex was standing next to me and included in the conversation I'd be more likely to say "He is our son". If ex was on the other side of the room or absent "our" makes little sense in context.

He is my son the fact he's equally someone else's son doesn't mean I am rejecting that just because I don't always say "our"

My house..... "I came out of my house this morning (eg just me ) Our house is on the market (we are jointly selling it)

"I came out of our house this morning alone " just doesn't flow or seem to make sense. The only time that would make sense would be if I didn't usually leave alone.

This obsession with "her child" "his rights" "His child" - all smack of ownership which isn't what parenting is about. Words like consult, discuss, compromise work better.

duchy

DUTR wrote: »

Perhaps is because you are not looking outside the box, the couple have split, we don't know why,

Well we do - the wife caught the husband cheating. See the references to the OP's other thread.

ecgirl07

BigJockKnew wrote: »

Yes that's really good, use the daughter as a pawn. Doesn't matter that the daughter will want to see her father, that she loves and misses her father.

What a terrible piece of advise, to use your own child as some bargaining chip, pathetic really.

OP ignore Morglin. OP, don't play fast and loose with your daughters happiness, if your ex doesn't want to give you his address, he has that right. He is an adult and the father of your daughter, I'm sure when he was your husband you trusted him to care for and look after your daughter, to have your daughters best interests at heart. That shouldn't change because you and he no longer are no longer in love.

Interesting point of view from someone with your username

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Jock_Knew

DUTR

duchy wrote: »

Well we do - the wife caught the husband cheating. See the references to the OP's other thread.

Re-read my post, I'm not going to cheat on anybody if everything is ok at home and there is not too much change from when we met.
As summarised already, this is just the beginning of the OP's woes, and the lot telling her what she wants to hear rather than what she needs to know won't help in the longer run.
I agree with the other poster to be mindful of how you refer to the offspring, mine when you are reffering to a 3rd party, but between a couple there is no mine, that 15% or 20% soon doesn't look too great over the years, especially if the none resident realises , there is no value in fighting, just move on and send the money, there is often only one loser and it's not the none resident or the PWC.

DUTR

ecgirl07 wrote: »

Interesting point of view from someone with your username

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Jock_Knew

Politician's type of swipe, the screen name is just a screen name, what they write is just as valid as your postings, does seem a little odd (to me) to google someone's screen name solely to have a swipe at them :eek:

ecgirl07

DUTR wrote: »

Politician's type of swipe, the screen name is just a screen name, what they write is just as valid as your postings, does seem a little odd (to me) to google someone's screen name solely to have a swipe at them :eek:

I didnt need to google I am quite aware of what the username stands for and find it offensive to see it used on here. I am interested to know how the poster argues against using children as pawns but is happy to pick this as a username with all its connotations?