My Ex hubby & father to my child won't give me his new address

dandelionclock30

I think she shouldnt be blackmailed by him and should see a solicitor for advice or if not someone from the CAB. Perhaps some type of mediation could be set up?
She cant be pandering to this nutter but things need sorting out.

Spendless

My friend's ex did this to her, refused to tell her the address he now lived at with his new partner. Has the OP said how old their child is? My friend found out the address when her eldest who could read said what the street sign and door number was.

alias*alibi

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

This particular father, given the threats and demands he has made according to the other thread, should not be allowed to have unsupervised access to his kids. He's a loon and a bully.

From the information supplied by the OP; you do not know this as fact!

Marsbar73

Thanks for all your comments. I didn't realise I could gain all these comments..
I appreciate most of them... However some of these are pure incorrect assumptions people have made about me.!!!
Firstly I didn't want my husband to leave to said I'd forgive him for any misdemeanours he has done.. He decided the best thing to do was leave with no attempt at reconciliation. My heart has been truly broken!! We had 17yrs of a relatively good marriage.. Ups & downs like most couples.. He had everything done for him.. I was a good wife!! I may have had the odd moan about him being a lazy git.. Not doing dishes, putting washing machine on etc etc.. But all trivial stuff.. He played his xbox/ps most evenings & befriended a woman on there.. Talking most nights.. Even when I was in bed.. I Grew suspicious about it..Their friendship progressed to texting/calling each other.. I discovered this after finding messages on his phone.. So my suspicions grew even more intensely..I asked him to stop but he wouldn't... She even called me recently & told me she loved him!!

Recently He has been very argumentative towards me since leaving 2 months ago.. Every time we talk it's heated.. I just want information so I have things straight in my mind..
It's not a power struggle..
I'd like to have his new address (when he gets one) purely so I know where my 10yr old is.. He's potentially doing a rent share with a colleague from work.. Whom he's told me in the past smokes marijuana.. Another reason I'd rather not let her go.. But I know my ex hubby won't bring any harm on my daughter.. As other posters have said.. I've never mentioned he was a bad dad.. He was a good dad for the most..
Thanks for all the comments but it would've been nice if a few of you didn't fall out

mum2one

As a single parent I would want to know where my daughter is, - although in my case my ex does not have any direct access.

We had to give each other our addresses - that was part of the court order.

The other issue is the school they usually want both sets of contact details. x

sulkisu

Perhaps point out to him that at 10 years of age, your daughter will be able to simply tell you the address. Unless your ex is planning to swear her to secrecy, which would be extremely unfair and unhealthy for your daughter. However he hasn't found anywhere yet so why not wait until then.

FBaby

Perhaps point out to him that at 10 years of age, your daughter will be able to simply tell you the address

Exactly, children like to know the address of where they go. Surely all she'll need to do is read the road and number. If he stupidly tells her not to tell you, ask her to write it somewhere and put in her bedroom so if anything happened one day, you could find it there?

It sounds like a very pointless thing to argue about when you have the division of assets to go through.

BigAunty

To me, it just sounds like the witholding of their new address is simply another aspect of the selfishness and control the OPs ex showed during their relationship, another way to try and wind her up.

There is perhaps no legal requirement to supply an address,I don't know, but a quite sensible act to do this.

Perhaps he's hoping to ward off CSA obligations and being served divorce papers and prevent being contacted by a solicitor to negotiate the terms of the divorce and settlement?

d123

BigAunty wrote: »

Perhaps he's hoping to ward off CSA obligations

Oh, come on! You think if the ex doesn't give his address the CSA will go "oh OK, you got us, we don't have your address so you don't need to pay anything".

You think the CSA might just have a few other avenues to find personal details and addresses without asking the ex-wife?

BigAunty

d123 wrote: »

Oh, come on! You think if the ex doesn't give his address the CSA will go "oh OK, you got us, we don't have your address so you don't need to pay anything".

You think the CSA might just have a few other avenues to find personal details and addresses without asking the ex-wife?

d123 wrote: »

Oh, come on! You think if the ex doesn't give his address the CSA will go "oh OK, you got us, we don't have your address so you don't need to pay anything".

You think the CSA might just have a few other avenues to find personal details and addresses without asking the ex-wife?

Don't be so dense.

(although, of course, the CSA (and its predecessors) have a reputation for not being fit for purpose and failing to get on top of cases and that NRPs can easily give them the runaround). Take a peek at the 'child support' board on MSE to get an idea just how many parents with children spend years trying unsuccessfully to get a penny out of their exes.

What I am saying is that the ex may hope to waive it away or demonstrate that he will be obstructive on legal and financial matters. One quite simple strategy to delay legal matters (including small claims court claims, divorce petitions and other issues) is for the defendent to conceal their address to frustrate the serving of court papers.

After all, the OPs ex has demonstrated skewed logic before when he suggested that he'd accept paying his outstanding tax bill if she hands over the car proceeds and pays off their shared debts....

He made out to his missus that taking responsibility for his taxes (which by law, only he has liability for!) was some kind of big favour, that she ought be grateful that he was offering to deal with what he regarded as a 'team' debt.

So he does have rather a shoulder sloping attitude to paying his way and a rather stupid attitude to dealing with money issues.

And yes, he might be stupid enough to think he could side step the CSA by hiding his residential address from her.

He made it clear that if she seeks a settlement, other than the one he has offered (whereby she pays off their joint debts and hands over the proceeds of the vehicle that she largely paid for), that she would never see him again and that he would use an intermediary to collect his daughter.

His actions are very sinister and controlling. Clearly, because the OP hasn't handed over a wad of money from the sale of her car and hasn't been fast enough to consent to taking responsibility for joint debts, he is ramping up the pressure.