My Ex hubby & father to my child won't give me his new address

MissMoneypenny

Get a friend to knock on the door of his old address and ask if he left a forwarding address.

peachyprice

I think you need to take a step back here OP. You're getting your knickers in a twist over something that hasn't even happened yet.

He hasn't witheld his address yet because he hasn't even got one. When he finally does, and when it's time to make arrangements for him to see your daughter, and when he realises that would mean he has to do all the toing and froing, and when he realises that unless he blindfolds her a 10yo is more than capabale of working out where she is, he'll probably come to the conclusion that it's a bit pointless.

marisco_2

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

This particular father, given the threats and demands he has made according to the other thread, should not be allowed to have unsupervised access to his kids. He's a loon and a bully.

Yet the OP would be happy for the dad to see and spend time with his child (cant bare that word access), if he provides her with his address. Doesn't sound like she considers him to be a loon or a bully. If she did then where he is living would be the least of her concerns wouldn't it?

Jackie132

Really, he can do what he wants to do, but still ask him about your daughter what her address is, where she goes. He also may tell you lie.

Marsbar73

He can do what he wants to do.. But as he knows where I live obviously & where is daughter is & he can turn up whenever he likes am I not entitled to simply ask for his address so that I know where my daughter is

balletshoes

Marsbar73 wrote: »

He can do what he wants to do.. But as he knows where I live obviously & where is daughter is & he can turn up whenever he likes am I not entitled to simply ask for his address so that I know where my daughter is

but the point a few of us are making is - your daughter might not be at that address anyway on visits with her dad - he might take her out, take her to family overnight etc etc. Do you want him to give you an itinerary of where he's taking his child, every time he spends time with her?

OP I do have some sympathy for you, but I agree with others - he hasn't got an address yet that he's going to use for access with his daughter, so whats the point of arguing about it now?

thorsoak

Have you spoken to CAB/Womens Aid/solicitor yet, Marsbar???

You'll find out exactly what your ex can and cannot do, and what you can demand of him - and where you stand financially - then you can start to stop worrying so much

FBaby

Marsbar73 wrote: »

He can do what he wants to do.. But as he knows where I live obviously & where is daughter is & he can turn up whenever he likes am I not entitled to simply ask for his address so that I know where my daughter is

Of course you are, but what posters are trying to say is that it is not worth worrying about what might happen when the circumstances are different. By then, he might have calmed down and have no issue telling you and again, even if he doesn't, your daughter will be able to tell you, so why are you hanging on to this frustration?

There will be many times when you and your ex don't agree about things to do with your daughter and you will have to pick your battles. The first one will be not to get into confrontation about something that might happen in the future.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Hey OP - I'm not reading everyones replies (Too many, and i start work in a mo!)

But i will tell you what my solicitor told me:

My ex did not give me an address either. My solictor wrote to his work (No other address for him!) and explained he would still have access to DD but as he would not provide an address then it would be supervised at my house.

The reasoning for this:

For one, yes, theoretically Ex could take DD, not return and there isnt ANYTHING the police would do as he has PR. However, if he did take DD, I would be in court the following day asking for an emergency order.

The other thing is that as a PWC you should know where your child is. The Ex knows where she is and where she lives, WHY shouldnt you know?

There was a comment made by my solicitor about Social Services and "knowing where your child is" but i think thats to the extreme.

And no, I am not using my child as a pawn, He can have access, I've not denied him that, HE did.

Confusedandneedhelp

I'll say this on the matter.

When parents split up, no matter the reasons ( aside from domestic violence related cases ofcourse)

Both parents should experience a week or a fortnight without their child, ie in the care of the other parent for that time.

I'm lucky my ex has been quite good with setting up good levels of time for me with my kids, but it took a while.

And I'll tell u now, a week without seeing them is !!!!ing horrible. And if she experienced that she would not have been arguing over off days.

Both parents have a responsibility to put the children first.

My ex talks about co-parenting, which I fully support. But co-parenting does not mean I go round to hers to tidy her house like she tried to claim once.

Co-parenting is about the kids. So whether he supplies his address, or not. Good parents do not mess around when it comes to kids.

My ex was worried I'd tKe the kids and run off to russia ( my home country ).

I told her that's ridiculous, the kids need a mum and a dad if at all possible.

So if u trusted him with your daughter before, trust him now to do the right thing.

Trust me, weeks of butting heads has caused nothing but aggro to me and to her, don't do it to yourselves.