Really concerned about my friend's children, constantly fed sweets and other junk

Top_Girl

In fairness, on Easter Sunday and Christmas Day in our house, it is positively encouraged to have chocolate for breakfast and indeed through the day and Top Boy has no issues with his health or weight, he got 7 eggs in total and there are various broken ones and their accompaniments in the fridge still and three are unopened.

As a single parent myself, I know it can be hard to keep on top of things with just one child. The diet is the most concerning thing here, as others have suggested, maybe suggest attending cooking classes together or give her or her eldest recipe suggestions that your own kids like?

Soleil_lune

I don't know about the OP, but I think her 'friend' should find a new friend. One who isn't a judgemental and nosey old moo who thinks she knows everything about everything. Holy crap!

notanewuser

pinkshoes wrote: »

My 3 year old got 4 Easter Eggs, and we still have 2 of them left!

Mine still has chocolate in the fridge that she was given at Xmas in 2012!

She does have a small amount of sweet stuff every day (I don't want to make it an obsession/issue), and will have lemonade if we're out for food, but eats healthily around that.

notanewuser

Re cooking classes etc, the 3 year old's tastevuds have been trained to like crap now. This isn't going to be a quick fix.

BigAunty

Soleil_lune wrote: »

I don't know about the OP, but I think her 'friend' should find a new friend. One who isn't a judgemental and nosey old moo who thinks she knows everything about everything. Holy crap!

Apparently 1 in 7 patients in hospital have diabetes which is regarded as a national scandal, a crisis and drain on the taxpayer. It is also well known that we are following the US trend in obesity which is at record levels.

The OPs post indicates perhaps why as a nation, we are sleep-walking into these issues.

I see the OP as caring about their health rather than spiteful, wanting to nudge her into better ways rather than insulting her.

alias*alibi

BigAunty wrote: »

This is a serious question, hope it doesn't come across as frivolous, but would social services really get involved for those kinds of issues?

I was under the impression that it would take prolonged neglect and abuse for a family to come under their wing.

I've even seen posts from social workers on news articles who say the entry criteria for intervention is very high and there are loads of households routinely living in what most people would regard as squalor and poor child rearing that won't qualify for any support from them, it has to be really harmful.

They could signpost the family to more appropriate services such as a children's centre for cookery/healthy eating classes etc or something like Homestart. Also there are teams who do lesser intense work with families; it's called early intervention before it gets serious enough to warrant further investigation. A bad prolonged diet can lead to tooth decay and obesity which if not tackled can be classed as abuse.

ska_lover

QueenOfHearts wrote: »

I understand that it's probably none of my business, but i'm really concerned. How do I approach their bad eating without offending my friend? I was thinking about going over and showing her how to make quick healthy meals that she can just freeze for the kids, but I don't want to upset her.

There are ways you could broach this, as in get her thinking WITHOUT pointing out what you think are her flaws etc. Please don't be accusatory as it could be the end of your friendship

I often do menu planning, I would bring up that in a topic with her, and ask her if she ever does it, and what kind of meals she puts on it, just like in a girlie chat kind of way. What about ''I am sick of eating the same meals on a regular basis, how about we menu plan for each other for next week, and set a £XX challenge?'' OR do you think that looks too obvious?

Me and my friends often have chats like this 'what you having for tea tonight' or what each others favourite budget meals are, you know get some ideas. ''how do you get your five a day, cos im really struggling with my brood''

I think your heart is in the right place definately, but offering to go over there and cook meals MAY not go down well.

You could ask her if she ever looks at this board - (maybe delete this thread first lol) but to look at the old style board, where people share their menu planners for the week, and share ideas and budget receipes etc.

There is a brilliant facebook page called 'FILL MY FAMILY ON A BUDGET' where many people come up with great and inventive ways to cook, and its not all junk. You could mention to her that you have 'come across' it and if she is interested she could take a peek. Many of the ladies on that board are single parents and its brilliant, would reccomend it to everyone on here!

Any cheap healthy meals you come across, share them with her 'Oh i found a great recipe for lentil tomato and paprika soup that costs about a quid for an evening meal, would you fancy the receipe?' (this is a fab healthy meal, that is souper cheap) sorry couldnt help the pun there haha x

FBaby

I agree with Person one. It all very much depends how often you get to witness this diet. Do you live with her or is this what you notice when you visit her occasionally/go out? Because it could very well be that your visit/going out is considered a special treat and what she feeds her children on normal days is totally different. The fact that the 3 yo is not overweight would indicate that it might not be as bad as you think?

I do understand your concern, but you need to be sure of your fact. Is she the type of person to know little about healthy eating and who would welcome your advice, or she is as clued up as the average parent and is likely to take offence to your advice?

Ultimately, if you really are concerned about their welfare, the best thing you can do is remain close friend and bring up the issue in a very non confrontational way, maybe engaging in a discussion with the little girl, leading to asking which vegetables she likes, which could prompt her mum to go and buy some.

PlymouthMaid

It is a tough one but credit to the OP for caring enough and not just wading in thoughtlessly. It must be quite upsetting to see the children eating so much grotty food. At least once these children start school the nanny state will prevent Mum from giving them garbage for lunch.

somethingcorporate

Soleil_lune wrote: »

I don't know about the OP, but I think her 'friend' should find a new friend. One who isn't a judgemental and nosey old moo who thinks she knows everything about everything. Holy crap!

Really?!?

Jeez, you can tell you're not a parent.