Really concerned about my friend's children, constantly fed sweets and other junk

jaylee3 · 9 May 2014 at 12:02AM

Nicki wrote: »

Joined to make a post on a very controversial issue and didn't come back to read the replies. Hmmm

It's almost like someone who is a regular member made a new username up to post something deliberately controversial. :cool: And we fell for it. :rotfl:

dizziblonde · 9 May 2014 at 7:52AM

By the way I agree with the beak sticking, judgemental comments... and I have two kids (who are having spaghetti hoops later on today because basically... I fancy some).

Oh and my youngest usually had sick marks somewhere on her that had just been attacked with a baby wipe. When you've got a refluxer so bad they're still vomiting up until the 12 month mark (weaning just made the puke more interesting) multiple times a day - you tend to lower your standards a bit and chuck coats in the wash a couple of times a week and just wing it between times - or the kid would never have gotten out of the house at all cos her coat would have been living in the washing machine permanently!

DomRavioli · 9 May 2014 at 8:11AM

Stop people - OP is a troll.

notanewuser · 9 May 2014 at 8:44AM

dizziblonde wrote: »

By the way I agree with the beak sticking, judgemental comments... and I have two kids (who are having spaghetti hoops later on today because basically... I fancy some).

Unless you feed them spaghetti hoops morning, noon and night, why would you feel you were being judged?

Bluemeanie_2 · 9 May 2014 at 9:13AM

I haven't read all of the thread so forgive me if this has been suggested.

I wouldn't approach this from a head on angle at all. I'll bet with a 3 year old and a 10 month old she is struggling.

I would say something like "Hun I noticed the other day you didn't have a chance to wash baby's coat, or the cot bedding after chocolate got on it are you behind on your washing? Do you want me to watch the little ones for a couple hours while you get caught up?" Even if she's not, it kindly gets the message across that you have noticed the place is dirty.

Same with the food, I'd say "I've noticed that you haven't had a chance to cook some nutrious food for the kids lately, shall I mind them while you do a shop?" Again even if she refuses it sounds like you are trying to help and bringing it to her attention without actually confronting her dramatically head on.

tea_lover · 9 May 2014 at 9:17AM

Bluemeanie wrote: »

I would say something like "Hun I noticed the other day you didn't have a chance to wash baby's coat, or the cot bedding after chocolate got on it are you behind on your washing? Do you want me to watch the little ones for a couple hours while you get caught up?" Even if she's not, it kindly gets the message across that you have noticed the place is dirty.

Same with the food, I'd say "I've noticed that you haven't had a chance to cook some nutrious food for the kids lately, shall I mind them while you do a shop?" Again even if she refuses it sounds like you are trying to help and bringing it to her attention without actually confronting her dramatically head on.

How is that not confronting her? Both of those suggestions are downright rude.

somethingcorporate · 9 May 2014 at 9:55AM

So what if it's rude? It's offering a friend with kids some help for their benefit.

We're a nation of panderers for risk of upsetting anyone and everyone. Sometimes things need to be said and done for the greater good (in this case for the benefit of the children) even if it risks a bit of offense. If the mother is too stupid to accept help where she needs it then it's only the innocent that are going to suffer.

I'm sure she'd be less offended from the offer of support and help from a genuinely concerned friend than a knock at the door from social services

Georgiegirl256 · 9 May 2014 at 9:57AM

tea_lover wrote: »

How is that not confronting her? Both of those suggestions are downright rude.

I agree. Those suggestions are rude. Anyone saying them might as well just come out with "your house is a sh*t tip and your kids are scruffy"....or words to that effect!