Really concerned about my friend's children, constantly fed sweets and other junk

POPPYOSCAR

notanewuser wrote: »

Indeed. Balanced. That's the key.

Their tastes do change. For 2 years DD refused cooked porridge. Didn't matter what we did to it, she just wouldn't try it. She would, however eat raw oats by the bowlful. All of a sudden when she turned 3 she started to ask for cooked porridge, and will scoff loads of the stuff. Likewise she would only eat baked beans of they were in a seperate pot so that the "juice" couldn't get onto the other things. All of a sudden she started dipping her toast in the beans.

She still won't touch mashed potato but I put that down to baby-led weaning and not liking mushy foods. She's suspicious of stews and soups, which I suspect is a texture thing too.

It's possible that her love of green veg stems from the fact that I'm vegetarian and so she got loads of it in the womb. (I did wonder whether she would reject meat but she loves it!) Again, if someone lives on junk food while pregnant it may not be a surprise that their child will like junk food when born.

She's a very slim child (with a tiny bottom!) so weightloss would be a concern for her. If she's really poorly I do give her whatever she will eat, but she'd never ask for McDonalds or chicken nuggets etc because they haven't been part of her diet up to now, if you see what I mean.

I'm not sure how I feel about doctors advising diets of chocolate etc They're not the ones dealing with the aftermath!!!

My daughter hates mashed potato, stews, soups and bananas even though they were given to her at a young age. My son however loves all those things and they were both brought up on the same foods.

What will you do if when she gets invited to parties and say it is at McDonalds?

mumps

notanewuser wrote: »

Indeed. Balanced. That's the key.

Their tastes do change. For 2 years DD refused cooked porridge. Didn't matter what we did to it, she just wouldn't try it. She would, however eat raw oats by the bowlful. All of a sudden when she turned 3 she started to ask for cooked porridge, and will scoff loads of the stuff. Likewise she would only eat baked beans of they were in a seperate pot so that the "juice" couldn't get onto the other things. All of a sudden she started dipping her toast in the beans.

She still won't touch mashed potato but I put that down to baby-led weaning and not liking mushy foods. She's suspicious of stews and soups, which I suspect is a texture thing too.

It's possible that her love of green veg stems from the fact that I'm vegetarian and so she got loads of it in the womb. (I did wonder whether she would reject meat but she loves it!) Again, if someone lives on junk food while pregnant it may not be a surprise that their child will like junk food when born.

She's a very slim child (with a tiny bottom!) so weightloss would be a concern for her. If she's really poorly I do give her whatever she will eat, but she'd never ask for McDonalds or chicken nuggets etc because they haven't been part of her diet up to now, if you see what I mean.

I'm not sure how I feel about doctors advising diets of chocolate etc They're not the ones dealing with the aftermath!!!

I'm not sure what aftermath you mean? With my DD it kept her out of hospital which was the aim. She does still like chocolate but it wouldn't be top of her list of favourite food. She prefers savoury now.

I wouldn't want to go through it again, she looked so frail and weak and when we tried to get her to eat she would agree to a lettuce leaf! Not the best diet to put a bit of meat on your bones. I pity parents coping with anorexia.

rachiibell

Could you invite them all round for tea once a week? You'll know the kids are getting at least one decent meal and your friend might be tempted to try some of your recipes after tasting them and seeing you cook them (so make sure you pick easy ones!)

somethingcorporate

Morglin wrote: »

Many kids grow out of liking junk, it doesn't ruin their eating habits for life!

Lin

Except when it does. Do you think this obesity epidemic is down to something other than eating habits? Reinforced by lazy/poor parenting.

Georgiegirl256

Birdy12 wrote: »

A great response, notanewuser, and factual. The first page of this thread was, generally, great, with factual advice.

However, when people start outlining what they feed their own children in a bid to sound like the healthiest parent with the healthiest children then competition becomes apparent and the thread loses it's vein.

Let's stick to advice.

Birdy

I can't actually see that you've actually offered any advice on the matter....instead you've been sticking that wooden spoon in and sh*t stirring....bravo! well done! :T

What notanewuser says is IMO actually correct so I can't see why you've got a problem with it.

Growing up, we lived on a street with a sweet shop at the end, so we had instant access to sweets, crisps and other 'not so good for you' stuff, and believe me, we took advantage of it! However, because my Mam cooked tasty healthy food, the foundation stones were set, the building blocks were there for liking vegs, knowing what was good for me and what wasn't, and I still to this day absolutely love vegetables and stews etc. so I absolutely believe it's what parents introduce their kids to is what kids get used to eating.

Morglin

somethingcorporate wrote: »

Except when it does. Do you think this obesity epidemic is down to something other than eating habits? Reinforced by lazy/poor parenting.

I think it may also be down to parents driving their kids everywhere., so the little darlings forget how to walk, and very little physical exercise in schools or outside the home!

Computer games have a lot to answer for.

Lin

Georgiegirl256

OP, I think the best thing you can do is start off by causally showing her some healthy and easy recipes that she can make and then freeze. Have her and the kids over maybe and make them a good home cooked meal, try and get the little ones introduced to new and yummy tasting foods.

notanewuser

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

My daughter hates mashed potato, stews, soups and bananas even though they were given to her at a young age. My son however loves all those things and they were both brought up on the same foods.

What will you do if when she gets invited to parties and say it is at McDonalds?

DD always had a (green) banana before bed (green was her choice). Now she barely touches them (no hardship as I hate them!).

I wouldn't stop her going to a McDonalds party. Not likely to happen with her existing close group of friends. Suppose things might change once she's at school, but then she'll be old enough to have a discussion about it first. We tend to do picnics and days out with her closest friends. She's been to leisure centre parties where the buffet is 90% crap with the odd grape or carrot stick for balance. I don't restrict her from eating the "party food" but I try to get her to eat a sandwich or 2 and some fruit first!

Birdy12

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I can't actually see that you've actually offered any advice on the matter....instead you've been sticking that wooden spoon in and sh*t stirring....bravo! well done! :T

What notanewuser says is IMO actually correct so I can't see why you've got a problem with it.

How bizarre, did I not say that notanewuser's post was full of factual advice and that I agreed with it? Did you not read my post properly?

The first page contained lots of good advice. People disputing one another in their bid to show themselves as the best parent is not giving the OP good advice.

Birdy

georgie262

Some parents give themselves far too much credit for their children's behaviour... eating habits/sleeping patterns etc. I was very rarely allowed cakes, sugary food etc as a child and was very jealous of my next door neighbour who was allowed run of the biscuit tin. Now I am the type of person who could eat a whole packet of biscuits in one sitting and am an absolute sugar monster, my friend on the other hand is the kind who can eat 1 biscuit and put the packet back!!

Back on topic, although I think OP's heart is probably in the right place but my hat is off to single parent families I think they are doing such a difficult job and yes, sometimes it's easier to give kids sausage and chips (Its all my little one ever really asks for - sausages).
Social care have to investigate every complaint made by the public (not by schools though humph) but they are unlikely to act further and that just then causes a lot of upset for everyone.