Timing

Confusedandneedhelp

delain wrote: »

What she does or doesn't do is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

How do you think it feels for her when she has you in contact all the time and she has to hide what she's doing so you don't freak out on her and then you turn up anyway and act all hard done by, when it is your own fault that you are split up.

From the sounds of it you have been pressurizing her to fit in with YOUR wants and needs, that takes it's toll on anyone. Doesn't the fact that she felt she had to hide it say something about your behaviour?

If I was your ex I'd be glad to be shot of you.

Ur I guess so, I just feel like a complete fool. I'm pouring my heart out and she's thinking about someone else

StuC75

Seriously quit the head f**s..

Nevermind her stopping you seeing the kids this would easily end up with a restraining order and for good reason.

regardless of her health background of depression thats not cause for you to use that as a manipulation against her...

You're probably the cause of much of her anguish and so she's seen that removing you in that sense is for the better and that the softly softly approach hasn't helped to make you see the end.

Confusedandneedhelp wrote: »

I text her this: Clearly we want different things. U aren't in love with me, I understand that. I am finding it hard to get over it, u really meant a lot to me and my feelings can't disappear just like that. Just like U cant draw a line under everything, neither can I. Uve been thru depression, so I hope u can understand that I am having a really tough time. I'm not asking for sympathy, I'm just telling u how I am. I'm sorry for hassling u to get back together, it's not what u want and bullying and pestering u is just making things worse. Please don't take the kids away from me. They mean the world to me. I will not contact u again, but I'm asking u to please let me see them

And I'm not going to contact her again. If he makes her happy great. It sounds like I'm going to be replaced as a dad too though.

Confusedandneedhelp

StuC75 wrote: »

Seriously quit the head f**s..

Nevermind her stopping you seeing the kids this would easily end up with a restraining order and for good reason.

regardless of her health background of depression thats not cause for you to use that as a manipulation against her...

You're probably the cause of much of her anguish and so she's seen that removing you in that sense is for the better and that the softly softly approach hasn't helped to make you see the end.

Well she might go down that route. I seriously didn't know she had company. She said she was going to bed. I wouldn't have gone round if I knew.

Just_a_Girl_2

She didn't ask you to pour your heart out to her. You said you were going to ease up, stop pressuring her and give her some time and space. And the next day you're pouring your heart out in a note to her and leaving it for her to read after you leave?

I went through the same thing when my ex and I split up. I ended things as I'd been treated so shabbily over years and years. Of course, he went to counselling after, promised changes, etc but it was all too little to late. His constant nagging and pressuring me to give him another chance did nothing but make me lose respect for him.

Confusedandneedhelp

Just_a_Girl wrote: »

She didn't ask you to pour your heart out to her. You said you were going to ease up, stop pressuring her and give her some time and space. And the next day you're pouring your heart out in a note to her and leaving it for her to read after you leave?

I went through the same thing when my ex and I split up. I ended things as I'd been treated so shabbily over years and years. Of course, he went to counselling after, promised changes, etc but it was all too little to late. His constant nagging and pressuring me to give him another chance did nothing but make me lose respect for him.

Thanks. I'm really going to stop contacting her. I am going to go get help, I'm going to give her time to cool off. I'll try get in touch in a month just to see the kids. No pressure on her.

paulineb_2

You have the right to see your child, legally, irrespective of whether the relationship has completely broken down or not.

paulineb_2

Confusedandneedhelp wrote: »

It's not paranoia if it's true as they say.

If you knew what real paranoia was, the mental health condition, you wouldnt use it out of context.

Your relationship sounds like its over, you need to try and move on respectfully, both of you and make the split as easy on the kids as is possible.

Confusedandneedhelp

I'm sorry I was not trying to make light of a serious condition.

BrassicWoman

I would start proceedings to formalise

a) maintenance payments and
b) contact arrangements

for your own child.

I would do nothing else. It's over; think about what your kid needs from you. Only your kid.

tea_lover

Whether she is seeing someone else or not is none of your business. It comes across like you're making her life a misery - and that's only reading it from your point of view! Just imagine what a post from her point of view would read like.