Timing

marisco_2

Confusedandneedhelp wrote: »

I'm in a moment of clarity. I'm a good person, I have problems I will deal with. I will be happy again.

Do whatever it will take to maintain clarity and to stay calm and focussed on sorting yourself out. For your sake and that of the son that you love and want to be there for. It is absolutely not okay for anyone to tell another to kill themselves. Undoubtedly you have both caused each other a lot of hurt and upset, I am pretty sure you would acknowledge that. Regardless though there is nothing that justifies telling someone they should do themselves harm or threatening to take their child away from them. It is small wonder you are so upset. Is there anyone who can be with you right now, a friend who could come over and be there whilst you talk this all out?

Confusedandneedhelp

marisco wrote: »

Do whatever it will take to maintain clarity and to stay calm and focussed on sorting yourself out. For your sake and that of the son that you love and want to be there for. It is absolutely not okay for anyone to tell another to kill themselves. Undoubtedly you have both caused each other a lot of hurt and upset, I am pretty sure you would acknowledge that. Regardless though there is nothing that justifies telling someone they should do themselves harm or threatening to take their child away from them. It is small wonder you are so upset. Is there anyone who can be with you right now, a friend who could come over and be there whilst you talk this all out?

Thanks. I do appreciate it. I'm the first to admit that I have hurt her, not proud of it but I can only ever dictate my future actions.

Nah, no one like that. Buys that's ok. I feel better in myself.

The last straw for me was her demanding money I 'owed' - I shared my life savings with her. She got 56000 pounds from me when we sold the house. That money was completely mine but I shared it with her. I genuinely got a whispered thank u for my trouble. 56k and she was quibbling about a few hundred pounds, which I will pay back. I just had enough at that point.

It feels good to have told her exactly what I think. Especially when it takes two to make or break a relationship, and whilst I carry more than half the blame. She's never acknowledged a single thing

BrassicWoman

please do go for the therapy. please.

marisco_2

Confusedandneedhelp wrote: »

It feels good to have told her exactly what I think. Especially when it takes two to make or break a relationship, and whilst I carry more than half the blame. She's never acknowledged a single thing

I think you are finally accepting that things are well and truly over. It would appear that you have both got off your chest all that you are thinking and feeling. This can give people the closure they need when they can make a total clean break and walk away from each other for good. However it can cause all kinds of grief and problems when there are kids involved, mainly for the child who will be feeling the backlash of all of this turmoil and angst.

I am assuming here that having access to, and maintaining a strong and healthy relationship with your son, is still very much a priority of yours. If so then somehow or other yourself and his mum, have got to get past this stage and be civil to each other once more. I wish you a lot of luck with getting your life back on track and getting to a stage where you feel much happier.

Confusedandneedhelp

marisco wrote: »

I think you are finally accepting that things are well and truly over. It would appear that you have both got off your chest all that you are thinking and feeling. This can give people the closure they need when they can make a total clean break and walk away from each other for good. However it can cause all kinds of grief and problems when there are kids involved, mainly for the child who will be feeling the backlash of all of this turmoil and angst.

I am assuming here that having access to, and maintaining a strong and healthy relationship with your son, is still very much a priority of yours. If so then somehow or other yourself and his mum, have got to get past this stage and be civil to each other once more. I wish you a lot of luck with getting your life back on track and getting to a stage where you feel much happier.

Thanks yes I very much do want that. I think I'll give her some time to cool off first though

paulineb_2

Confusedandneedhelp wrote: »

Thanks. I do appreciate it. I'm the first to admit that I have hurt her, not proud of it but I can only ever dictate my future actions.

Nah, no one like that. Buys that's ok. I feel better in myself.

The last straw for me was her demanding money I 'owed' - I shared my life savings with her. She got 56000 pounds from me when we sold the house. That money was completely mine but I shared it with her. I genuinely got a whispered thank u for my trouble. 56k and she was quibbling about a few hundred pounds, which I will pay back. I just had enough at that point.

It feels good to have told her exactly what I think. Especially when it takes two to make or break a relationship, and whilst I carry more than half the blame. She's never acknowledged a single thing

I think this is where you need to take a step back. You had choices. You didn't need to give her the cash. And now you are bringing this up when a couple of days ago all you wanted to do was reconcile.

I think getting conflicting views and advice on here will always happen but painting her as the bad guy to make you look better really isn't helpful.

The way some of your posts have been interpreted actually concerns me, if you need to talk, get professional help, I think you need it at the moment.

paulineb_2

Confusedandneedhelp wrote: »

I'm in a moment of clarity. I'm a good person, I have problems I will deal with. I will be happy again.

She's hardly a catch. 3 kids by 3 different dads.2 clearly knew when to get out

Yet a few days ago you were heartbroken at the thought of life without her. Posters on here have given your posts the benefit of the doubt until now and taken time to support you. You aren't helping yourself.

Confusedandneedhelp

paulineb wrote: »

Yet a few days ago you were heartbroken at the thought of life without her. Posters on here have given your posts the benefit of the doubt until now and taken time to support you. You aren't helping yourself.

Hold on I'm doing exactly what people have said. Moving on.

Confusedandneedhelp

paulineb wrote: »

Yet a few days ago you were heartbroken at the thought of life without her. Posters on here have given your posts the benefit of the doubt until now and taken time to support you. You aren't helping yourself.

paulineb wrote: »

I think this is where you need to take a step back. You had choices. You didn't need to give her the cash. And now you are bringing this up when a couple of days ago all you wanted to do was reconcile.

I think getting conflicting views and advice on here will always happen but painting her as the bad guy to make you look better really isn't helpful.

The way some of your posts have been interpreted actually concerns me, if you need to talk, get professional help, I think you need it at the moment.

I'm getting help. May 6th first appointment.

I'm not bothered about looking good or bad. I know what I've done. She's been very cheeky

paulineb_2

Confusedandneedhelp wrote: »

I'm getting help. May 6th first appointment.

I'm not bothered about looking good or bad. I know what I've done. She's been very cheeky

So this thread is just going to turn into who is the better person, her or you? The comments you made about her kids fathers was ridiculous and uncalled for. And if you had an issue about her having 2 kids by two different dads, it didn't stop the pair of you having a child.