Timing

victory

Confusedandneedhelp wrote: »

Ye I reported it but nothing they can do. Well only my ex ( unlikely ) or the person she was/is seeing ( more likely ).
No other tyres were slashed and this one was brand new, only changed two weeks ago

Tyre aside how are you?

Confusedandneedhelp

victory wrote: »

Tyre aside how are you?

That's a question and a half.

I have good moments and bad.

I don't want to have back what it was for the last 18 months.
I don't want a relationship now.
But I still sometimes think of what could've been. Hopefully will ease up when I start to see the kids.

victory

Confusedandneedhelp wrote: »

That's a question and a half.

I have good moments and bad.

I don't want to have back what it was for the last 18 months.
I don't want a relationship now.
But I still sometimes think of what could've been. Hopefully will ease up when I start to see the kids.

You seem calmer and that is a good thing, you need to concetrate on yourself and your kids, the relationship you crave will come later;)

Confusedandneedhelp

victory wrote: »

You seem calmer and that is a good thing, you need to concetrate on yourself and your kids, the relationship you crave will come later;)

I hope so. It's been a week since I've seen them. As for the relationship I dunno, if it was different I'd want it but I wouldn't want to go backwards.

I'm trying to be sober, just for my own self. First day, I don't think I have a drinking problem but it just gets me down.

Tomorrow going to ask about stopping smoking and I've just signed up for the gym.

On the car front, perhaps doesn't mean anything but was changing the tyre and that nobhead walked past, gave me a grin and walked on. I know I pick up on small details so I hope someone can talk me out if thinking he's slashed my tyres. Can't exactly prove it either way, but coincidence to the extreme

marisco_2

Confusedandneedhelp wrote: »

I hope someone can talk me out if thinking he's slashed my tyres. Can't exactly prove it either way, but coincidence to the extreme

IF he did do it the best way to respond is not to rise to that kind of passive aggressive behaviour. You would just be playing into his hands, and could bring about all kinds of problems for yourself that could be otherwise avoided. Be the bigger person here and focus on what is really important to maintaining your stability and a good frame of mind.

Confusedandneedhelp

marisco wrote: »

IF he did do it the best way to respond is not to rise to that kind of passive aggressive behaviour. You would just be playing into his hands, and could bring about all kinds of problems for yourself that could be otherwise avoided. Be the bigger person here and focus on what is really important to maintaining your stability and a good frame of mind.

Thanks that's exactly what I wanted to hear.

Ozzuk

Your posts aren't anywhere near as manic as they were - a great sign you're coming to terms with things and seeing clearer.

Nothing to add, just wanted to say everyone makes mistakes, its how you proceed that counts and if that means not being with her and being the best dad you can be then I reckon you'll do alright.

Confusedandneedhelp

Ozzuk wrote: »

Your posts aren't anywhere near as manic as they were - a great sign you're coming to terms with things and seeing clearer.

Nothing to add, just wanted to say everyone makes mistakes, its how you proceed that counts and if that means not being with her and being the best dad you can be then I reckon you'll do alright.

Thanks.

There's been some developments.

1: she's spoken to me and agreed to mediation. So that feels great, and hopefully will mean I see my kids soon. I am going to be the best dad I can be.

2: now that she's got in touch, I start to panic
A: because I do still want to be a family, not like we used to but Ye
B: because she's saying she's not with anyone. I didn't ask, she just said it. I think if I really try hard to change I could get that back. ( even if I'm not sure that is what I really want.)
& C: that if she is with someone and not telling me, I'm going to get hurt again.

So I'm trying to focus on what I can control. Which is being a great dad, getting help, and just leaving her to do whatever she needs to.

Sorry. I thought it's be weeks until this happened. I prepared for weeks of just focusing on myself. So it's a bit if a trap door opening.

delain

Confusedandneedhelp wrote: »

Thanks.

There's been some developments.

1: she's spoken to me and agreed to mediation. So that feels great, and hopefully will mean I see my kids soon. I am going to be the best dad I can be.

2: now that she's got in touch, I start to panic
A: because I do still want to be a family, not like we used to but Ye
B: because she's saying she's not with anyone. I didn't ask, she just said it. I think if I really try hard to change I could get that back. ( even if I'm not sure that is what I really want.)
& C: that if she is with someone and not telling me, I'm going to get hurt again.

So I'm trying to focus on what I can control. Which is being a great dad, getting help, and just leaving her to do whatever she needs to.

Sorry. I thought it's be weeks until this happened. I prepared for weeks of just focusing on myself. So it's a bit if a trap door opening.

What you need to do is start thinking about the mediation and your children. Being 'a family' isn't going to happen in the near future, and don't let her use it to keep you hanging. Work on being civil but no more.

Whether or not she is seeing anyone is none of your business, if she tries to tell you things, just tell her you don't need to know.

marisco_2

Oh that is great news, I am so pleased for you. What an unexpected positive turnaround of events hey. See, it is always worth keeping the faith. It is understandable that after what has gone on recently, you are feeling hesitant to fully trust that you wont get hurt again, but that is within your power to control. Being in a much stronger place emotionally now, makes you fully capable of taking things a step at a time and approaching this all rationally.

You should be very proud of just how far you have come in such a small space of time