Absurd financial demands from ex-fiancee

Richard__G

January20 wrote: »

I must be a bit dim today because I don't really understand this kind of advice. I've got a car on finance over 3 years and it doesn't matter how much the car is worth in 2 years time, the payments will be what was agreed on the contract for the term of the loan. I don't understand how MORALLY anybody could decide to keep a car that somebody else is paying for and not reimburse them fully for it! I don't think it matters whether she has need for it or not, OP, she is paying for something which benefits you daily.

I suppose it's a good lesson for your ex for being stupid enough to get car finance in her name for somebody else. I'm sure she won't make that mistake again.
Shame nobody advised her to keep a spare key.

I too find this thread very sad, but not because of what the OP posted, but from some of the replies.

I said somewhere in this thread that I paid for half of the car every month by virtue of reducing what she paid me for bills and the mortgage. The mistake I made is not being more explicit about that - she asked how much to give me every month and I worked it out. I naively thought we'd never be in this situation

sedment

Correct me if im wrong, but if you earn double what she does why not just give her the car and furniture and be done with it? Yes, that leaves you without a car but sure you could pick up something. If you dont have this "stuff" and the finance is in her name, I would sort it out with the dvla and walk away. She wont have any hold over you if everything is returned to her and really, its not your problem then. But change your locks before you email her to say that the items will be dropped off!!

Richard__G

January20 wrote: »

I must be a bit dim today because I don't really understand this kind of advice. I've got a car on finance over 3 years and it doesn't matter how much the car is worth in 2 years time, the payments will be what was agreed on the contract for the term of the loan. I don't understand how MORALLY anybody could decide to keep a car that somebody else is paying for and not reimburse them fully for it! I don't think it matters whether she has need for it or not, OP, she is paying for something which benefits you daily.

I suppose it's a good lesson for your ex for being stupid enough to get car finance in her name for somebody else. I'm sure she won't make that mistake again.
Shame nobody advised her to keep a spare key.

I too find this thread very sad, but not because of what the OP posted, but from some of the replies.

And in any case, she had shared use of the car for that time. Its depreciation is entirely relevant because she used the car for almost the full period of the finance.

barba

If the genders in this situation were reversed then the 'female' OP would be gaining far more sympathy.

Sad to see that MSE sexism is alive and kicking....

bugslet

barba wrote: »

If the genders in this situation were reversed then the 'female' OP would be gaining far more sympathy.

Sad to see that MSE sexism is alive and kicking....

personally, my advice would be the same if it was a woman posting. Nothing to do with the boss and tell him to pick his stuff up.

tayforth

Richard__G wrote: »

They are two enormously common first names, and nothing else personal is revealed in the letters. I work in the world of odds and probability, and the chances of her, her family or anybody she knows stumbling across this thread are negligible to the point of being entirely insignificant.

How many users does the MSE forum have?

It's very possible that someone on here knows someone called Hannah, who used to be engaged to someone called Richard. Neither are 'enormously common' names, by the way.

January20

Richard__G wrote: »

I said somewhere in this thread that I paid for half of the car every month by virtue of reducing what she paid me for bills and the mortgage. The mistake I made is not being more explicit about that - she asked how much to give me every month and I worked it out. I naively thought we'd never be in this situation

Yes but now she doesn't live with you any longer does she? So she has no benefit from the car that she is still paying for (or from the furniture) she bought with you? So why not just pay for the rest of the finance on the car if you want to keep the car (so for instance say there are 6 months left at £x why not just offer to pay for that) or like another poster said just give her the car and let her deal with it!

January20

Richard__G wrote: »

And in any case, she had shared use of the car for that time. Its depreciation is entirely relevant because she used the car for almost the full period of the finance.

I use my car everyday but I guess we both know what the finance company would say if I wanted my payment reduced because the value of the car has gone down in the time I've had it! :eek:

barba wrote: »

If the genders in this situation were reversed then the 'female' OP would be gaining far more sympathy.

Sad to see that MSE sexism is alive and kicking....

No from me, they wouldn't! I can't greedy, money grabbing and unfair people, male or female!
I don't think very much of the ex in this either and I know what I would say to her if she had posted!

BigAunty

Mojisola wrote: »

And because coolcait has quoted the original post, the links are still there today.

Plus the fact that once personal information is out there in the public domain, it never really goes away - pages get cached, copied to other sites by bots, other websites like Wayback take regular snapshots to produce an archive so taking links down don't necessarily eradicate all trace of them.

BigAunty

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

The car is in her name so tell her she's welcome to come and get it. As for the furniture you're only prepared to pay her for the second-hand value of it if she doesn't want to come and collect that as well.

I'm with you on that suggestion.

According to the OP, she doesn't need the furniture and cannot afford the car which is why he'd like to retain them both for low second hand values. Apparently, it would be traumatic for him if she came round to collect these items but is this single visit going to be less traumatic than a long drawn out price negotiation or possible future legal dispute?

Also, he thinks as she's in a furnished property, it will save her the faff about having to store and sell the car and furniture - but you know what? When you are no longer in a relationship, there is no continuing obligation to consider the ex's issues.

There are hints around entitlement to them because she earned much less and failed to contribute sufficiently to household, social and holiday expenses.

Just give them back and get your own motor for the sum you offered her and your own furniture (free from Gumtree freebies and Freecycle, cheap from charity shops).

Resolve the dispute between you over mere stuff by not having it. Enable a fresh start with fresh belongings. She's been very unprofessional by trying to drag your boss into a personal issue and involving her father (a bit like the way you are risking compromising her privacy) but surely this doesn't mean you have to abandon civility, too?

A quick email to the affect of 'I think its better for the both of us if we bring this issue to a timely dispute. I am happy to handover the car and all furniture you purchased to you, uplifting all on a single occasion and on a date/time that's suitable for you. I'd be grateful if you could give me a bit of notice for your visit to collect them. Best regards'.