Absurd financial demands from ex-fiancee

Cottage_Economy

Start keeping a diary in case this gets out of hand and she or her father become threatening.

It's nice to think that you can walk away from idiocy like this, but unfortunately sometimes they can follow you doggedly causing trouble with friends, family and, as you have already experienced, employers until you give in and pay them what they want.

Don't allow her to screw up your career, as it could drag you down financially for the rest of your life. If it escalates at your work further, a cease and desist letter from a solicitor might work, as she will be damaging your career and reputation with your employers. I've done one before and it was well worth the money.

You'll probably never see the ring back.

Finst

Her letter does seem ridiculous (I've been through a similar situation, and money always seems to bring out a different side to a lot of people).

You say you are the registered keeper of the car, but the finance is in her name. You need to watch out there, as most car finance companies insist the registered keeper and the person with the finance are the same. Not sure what the ramifications would be (if any), but just be aware. Being the registered keeper does not mean you are the legal owner either.

An offer of £500 seems a bit low for £3,000 of belongings which are only a year old. Have you actually totted up the going 2nd hand rate for each of the items, eg on ebay? If I were you, whatever you offer financially I would give her the chance to take the items back as an alternative - she may not want them but if you can't agree a price it seems fair to do so.

Richard__G

He said that one of two scenarios can occur - I go to him and ask for help, in which case he would consider it but would make no promises, or a court contacts him.

Otherwise he is not involved and will not have any more conversations with her.

Fortunately he's been very supportive of me for many years and we have a very good relationship.

supersaver2

victory wrote: »

What does it have to do with your boss? Why would she do that? Doesn't make sense

At a guess she wants money deducting from wages, hence the need to discuss with the op's boss!

Ronaldo_Mconaldo

Why didn't you just send her a photo of you crying like a baby and have done with it.

Richard__G

Finst wrote: »

Her letter does seem ridiculous (I've been through a similar situation, and money always seems to bring out a different side to a lot of people).

You say you are the registered keeper of the car, but the finance is in her name. You need to watch out there, as most car finance companies insist the registered keeper and the person with the finance are the same. Not sure what the ramifications would be (if any), but just be aware. Being the registered keeper does not mean you are the legal owner either.

An offer of £500 seems a bit low for £3,000 of belongings which are only a year old. Have you actually totted up the going 2nd hand rate for each of the items, eg on ebay? If I were you, whatever you offer financially I would give her the chance to take the items back as an alternative - she may not want them but if you can't agree a price it seems fair to do so.

They're all about three years old and I did a bit of ebaying but you could come up with a different answer any time you look. I'm happy to negotiate, but I strongly suspect that £500 is a lot closer than £3000!

We did tell the finance company about the change (it needed to be in my name for parking permit reasons), and they were okay with it. She's moving into a furnished flatshare and can't afford the car, so it makes sense for me to keep everything for a fair price - that way we don't have the trauma of her coming to take more stuff away (it was hard enough the first time) and she doesn't have to faff around selling it all. No idea why she doesn't see it that way.

Richard__G

supersaver2 wrote: »

At a guess she wants money deducting from wages, hence the need to discuss with the op's boss!

That is what she wants yes, but there is no money owed to her here. In reality she wants me to pay for stuff she couldn't be bothered to take with her.

That is not what Attachment of Earnings was designed for!

supersaver2

Richard__G wrote: »

That is what she wants yes, but there is no money owed to her here. In reality she wants me to pay for stuff she couldn't be bothered to take with her.

That is not what Attachment of Earnings was designed for!

Yes I understand I was just explains to another poster! Your boss shouldn't even talk to her about you, nothing to do with him at all. I wonder where she is getting her 'advice' from, she can't seriously think she'll get any money going down this road!

Principia_2

Are you sure that she is not trying to say that the original sums of money were loans rather than gifts?


I still don't think she has a leg to stand on, unless she has written proof of lending the money to you, but that might explain why the letter is claiming for the full cost of the items i.e. she is claiming she loaned you the money to buy them and she would like that money back now.


Edited to add - looking at the original screenshot - whoever wrote it says 'you confirmed to me' giving the impression that they are merely confirming in writing what has already been agreed.

Finst

Richard__G wrote: »

They're all about three years old and I did a bit of ebaying but you could come up with a different answer any time you look. I'm happy to negotiate, but I strongly suspect that £500 is a lot closer than £3000!

We did tell the finance company about the change (it needed to be in my name for parking permit reasons), and they were okay with it. She's moving into a furnished flatshare and can't afford the car, so it makes sense for me to keep everything for a fair price - that way we don't have the trauma of her coming to take more stuff away (it was hard enough the first time) and she doesn't have to faff around selling it all. No idea why she doesn't see it that way.

In that case, I can't much wrong with what you are doing.

The only piece of advice I can give is,think of it this way - how much would you pay to not have to deal with her ever again? When you look at it that way, it''l seem cheap at twice the price

good luck!