Am I being unreasonable?

shoe*diva79

peachyprice wrote: »

Lets just hope you never need their help with childcare for something more important that a jolly. Because if I were them I'd tell you where to shove it.

I have never asked their help for childcare, and neither would I for various reasons. They look after her twice a week for a hour at their request, which I didn't deny, as they rarely get to see her otherwise. Im not the ungrateful cow your making me out to be. I had arrange with my DD father the childcare for this upcoming weekend 2 months ago - maybe he could prioritise his work and social life around being there for our daughter as we had originally planned?

shoe*diva79

notechno wrote: »

As noxious as cigarette smoke is, you cannot get a chest infection from it. A chest infection would have to be picked up from someone with a chest infection, not a cigarette

Smoke damages the lungs, especially those of children, making them more susceptible to chest infections.

notechno

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

Smoke damages the lungs, especially those of children, making them more susceptible to chest infections.

Yes I know, but OP said that she came back from their house with a hacking cough and got a chest infection - that wouldn't be a direct result of spending a few hrs in their home.

peachyprice

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

Having collected my daughter from her grandparents just half hour ago I just want to say that I dont stop her spending time with them because they are smokers. They collect her from pre school twice a week and look after her for a hour until I am able to collect her. As usual, she absolutely hums and as Im typing this she is happily splashing about in the bath. I literally gag when she hugged me hello. Its disgusting. Its definitely made me realise that my opinion is that I do not want my daughter staying overnight in a smokey environment.

So it's ok for her to go there when you need them for childcare, but not when your ex needs it.

Oh the hypocrisy.

peachyprice

notechno wrote: »

Yes I know, but OP said that she came back from their house with a hacking cough and got a chest infection - that wouldn't be a direct result of spending a few hrs in their home.

You mean like she does twice a week, every week when it suits OP?

If that is what caused the hacking cough and chest infection the child must be continually very ill, but it doesn't stop OP letting them look after her every week.

Person_one

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

Smoke damages the lungs, especially those of children, making them more susceptible to chest infections.

If they live with smokers, yes.

Your daughter's lungs will not have been damaged by visiting her grandparents, the chest infection was due to bacteria and was a coincidence.

shoe*diva79

peachyprice wrote: »

So it's ok for her to go there when you need them for childcare, but not when your ex needs it.

Oh the hypocrisy.

Did you not read my post? I dont need their help, I would prefer my daughter was in nursery socialising with other children of her age, however, as they do not get to see her very often they asked if they can pick her up from pre school twice a week and see her for a hour. I could easily stop them seeing her and pop her in a nursery but as I believe its good for them to spend some time together I agreed to their proposal so they maintain a relationship with her.

Edit to include that my ex arranges them to have her overnight which I am not happy with. A hour twice a week is a massive difference to overnight.

victory

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

Did you not read my post? I dont need their help, I would prefer my daughter was in nursery socialising with other children of her age, however, as they do not get to see her very often they asked if they can pick her up from pre school twice a week and see her for a hour. I could easily stop them seeing her and pop her in a nursery but as I believe its good for them to spend some time together I agreed to their proposal so they maintain a relationship with her.

Edit to include that my ex arranges them to have her overnight which I am not happy with. A hour twice a week is a massive difference to overnight.

So the hour twice a week do the GP's take her to their home straight away or do they go out with her?

If they take her home versus overnight it is a difference time wise but presumably she will be upstairs in her bed away from the downstairs smoke quite a large portion of the overnight stay and not directly within the smoke for all the time?






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FBaby

So what's the difference? 24 hours in one go as opposed to 24 hours in 12 weeks? Do you really think having her the equivalent of 3 months in one day for years is going to have a significant impact on her life?

If you are so concerned about the danger, why let her go at all?

Georgiegirl256

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

I could easily stop them seeing her and pop her in a nursery

Hopefully you never would do this. A child's relationship with their grandparents is an important one.

Edit to include that my ex arranges them to have her overnight which I am not happy with. A hour twice a week is a massive difference to overnight.

So she has stayed overnight with them before then? If that's the case, that makes your reasoning for not wanting her to stay this one night even more ridiculous.