Am I being unreasonable?

hawk30

I wouldn't let my LO stay in the house of heavy smokers, no matter whose parents they were or that they didn't smoke around. Surely we all know about 3rd hand smoke nowadays.

Georgiegirl256

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

knowing the effects of 2nd/3rd hand smoke, I dont feel I am overreacting, but I appreciate your opinion.

I would agree with you if it was for longer, like say a week for instance, but for one night? I can see where you are coming from, but you don't want it to become a big issue (things awkward between you all) for the sake of one night.

They are making an effort by going outside. Again, if they weren't, then I'd agree, but they are.

shoe*diva79

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I would agree with you if it was for longer, like say a week for instance, but for one night? I can see where you are coming from, but you don't want it to become a big issue (things awkward between you all) for the sake of one night.

They are making an effort by going outside. Again, if they weren't, then I'd agree, but they are.

i just cant do it. She stayed for the first time for 1 night at the end of January. She came home after 22 hours and I literally felt sick giving her a hug. She stank to high heaven. Her belongings stank and went straight in the wash and her backpack in the wheelie bin.

They look after her for 1 hour twice during the week and thats bad enough - the first thing she does when she gets home is into the bath.

its not like I haven't tried before leaving her there.

GobbledyGook

Could they watch her overnight in your house instead?

HPoirot

If it is only for overnight and they won't smoke in her presence, then I would tend to send her along with some antihistamine - for the smell that hangs in the air. IMO it would be a good experience on both sides for a 3 year old to bond with grandparents.

mountainofdebt

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

i just cant do it. She stayed for the first time for 1 night at the end of January. She came home after 22 hours and I literally felt sick giving her a hug. She stank to high heaven. Her belongings stank and went straight in the wash and her backpack in the wheelie bin.

They look after her for 1 hour twice during the week and thats bad enough - the first thing she does when she gets home is into the bath.

its not like I haven't tried before leaving her there.

Then why ask?

shoe*diva79

mountainofdebt wrote: »

Then why ask?

Because I want to know peoples opinions if I am being unreasonable or not.

shoe*diva79

GobbledyGook wrote: »

Could they watch her overnight in your house instead?

No, this wouldn't be possible.

mountainofdebt

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

Because I want to know peoples opinions if I am being unreasonable or not.

So if the majority of people said yes you were (and for my 2p worth, yes I think you are verging on being unreasonable) would you allow your daughter to stay there ?

No, I didn't think so

shoe*diva79

mountainofdebt wrote: »

So if the majority of people said yes you were (and for my 2p worth, yes I think you are verging on being unreasonable) would you allow your daughter to stay there ?

No, I didn't think so

After reading the links that one member posted re 3rd hand smoke and taking into consideration my daughters health then no, I wouldnt. And I wont be.

I have now given him the opportunity to revert back to his original plan of when he was spending time with her, if he chooses that something else is more important then time with, and the health of, his daughter.. well then so be it. But I do now feel content that I am protecting her from potentially harmful health issues.