Am I being unreasonable?

ifonlyitwaseasier

i think you are completely right in your reaction. i had relatives who smoked, and visiting them, even if they didn't smoke inside when we were there, meant we left stinking of smoke and feeling sick.

claire16c

I wouldnt let my kid stay in a house like that.

My BILs house stinks of fags and we came back once and even the unworn clothes that were inside a closed suitcase stank and I had to wash the entire lot and air out the suitcase.

Its disgusting and smelling is on a child is beyond gross.

Your ex shouldnt be changing the arrangements at the last minute.

thistledome

DannyBo wrote: »

*yawn*

Much ado about nothing, pointless thread with a predetermined outcome anyway.

"It's funny 'cos it's true!"

SuzieSue

The OP said that her daughter got a chest infection the last time she stayed overnight. I do not think she is is over-reacting at all.

Georgiegirl256

SuzieSue wrote: »

The OP said that her daughter got a chest infection the last time she stayed overnight. I do not think she is is over-reacting at all.

This could just be a coincidence. She didn't necessarily get it from staying at the grandparents house.

As others have mentioned, it appears that the OP has already made her mind up, so the thread is pointless, and it seems like it's more a tit for tat with the ex.

SuzieSue

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

As others have mentioned, it appears that the OP has already made her mind up, so the thread is pointless, and it seems like it's more a tit for tat with the ex.

The thread is not pointless. The OP can see that there are people who agree with her and people who agree with her ex. If everyone had agreed with her ex she might have changed her mind.

Georgiegirl256

SuzieSue wrote: »

If everyone had agreed with her ex she might have changed her mind.

I very much doubt it somehow....

SuzieSue

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I very much doubt it somehow....

Who knows, but at least she would have known that she was being unreasonable if no-one had agreed with her which was the whole point of her thread.

shoe*diva79

Just catching up. Thanks for the opinions. The outcome is different to what I had first anticipated. A friend has offered to look after my daughter for the day with my ex collecting her that evening as he normally would.

Having collected my daughter from her grandparents just half hour ago I just want to say that I dont stop her spending time with them because they are smokers. They collect her from pre school twice a week and look after her for a hour until I am able to collect her. As usual, she absolutely hums and as Im typing this she is happily splashing about in the bath. I literally gag when she hugged me hello. Its disgusting. Its definitely made me realise that my opinion is that I do not want my daughter staying overnight in a smokey environment.

So, if my ex hadnt been able to keep to the plans we had made over 8 weeks ago or my friend be kind enough to watch my daughter for the day then I would have been taking her away with me. I already have a signed letter from my ex kept with her passport permitting her travel with me as I travel a lot taking DD with me on many occasions.

notechno

SuzieSue wrote: »

The OP said that her daughter got a chest infection the last time she stayed overnight. I do not think she is is over-reacting at all.

As noxious as cigarette smoke is, you cannot get a chest infection from it. A chest infection would have to be picked up from someone with a chest infection, not a cigarette