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Am I being unreasonable?
shoe*diva79
Posts: 1,356 Forumite
Since the beginning of Jan its been arranged that my ex will look after our daughter from this coming Thursday evening through to Sunday evening. I shall be away (abroad) during this time.
He hasn't seen her since 8-9th Feb due to traveling with work and last weekend wouldn't have her as she had been ill during the week and he didn't want his other children to catch anything contagious.
Just received an email saying he will now not be home until Friday lunchtime and he has arranged for his folks to have our daughter overnight Thursday and Friday daytime until he gets back.
Now, I like his parents, they love our daughter etc BUT I do not want her staying overnight because they are heavy smokers (minimum 20 a day) and smoke in the house. The one and only time DD has stayed overnight with them she came home stinking, as did her belongings and within a few days had a hacking cough that turned into a chest infection.
I dont have anyone else to look after her so its either she stays overnight with them and sees her father for the weekend or I book her flight to come with me.
He hasn't seen her since 8-9th Feb due to traveling with work and last weekend wouldn't have her as she had been ill during the week and he didn't want his other children to catch anything contagious.
Just received an email saying he will now not be home until Friday lunchtime and he has arranged for his folks to have our daughter overnight Thursday and Friday daytime until he gets back.
Now, I like his parents, they love our daughter etc BUT I do not want her staying overnight because they are heavy smokers (minimum 20 a day) and smoke in the house. The one and only time DD has stayed overnight with them she came home stinking, as did her belongings and within a few days had a hacking cough that turned into a chest infection.
I dont have anyone else to look after her so its either she stays overnight with them and sees her father for the weekend or I book her flight to come with me.
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Comments
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How old is your daughter? Could you not ask them politely if they could refrain from smoking (or just go outside) while she is there?0
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She is 3. They dont smoke in the house whilst she is there, but they do all the other times and the smoke just hangs in the air. The walls/ceilings/skirting boards are yellow if that gives an indication how heavy the smoke is there.
When she got home last time her backpack stank so much that I binned it.0 -
No, I don't think you are being unreasonable at all! I would be booking her seat to fly out without any delay.0
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Who is looking after your ex's other children whilst he is away. A new partner/wife - could you possibly suggest that your daughter stays the night with her and her siblings.Thrifty Till 50 Then Spend Till the End
You can please some of the people some of the time, all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time but you can never please all of the people all of the time0 -
how will your ex and his parents take it if you book a flight and take your daughter with you?0
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No, I wouldn't let my child stay with smokers. Luckily I don't know any!0
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Ms_Chocaholic wrote: »Who is looking after your ex's other children whilst he is away. A new partner/wife - could you possibly suggest she looks after your daughter for one night.
Their mother on Thursday night (as usual i would assume) and then he will collect them for the weekend when they finish school. The other children are from a relationship before me.0 -
balletshoes wrote: »how will your ex and his parents take it if you book a flight and take your daughter with you?
My ex would not be amused. But then I dont feel happy leaving her in an environment that can be detrimental to her health. He thinks I am over reacting.0 -
shoe*diva79 wrote: »Their mother on Thursday night (as usual i would assume) and then he will collect them for the weekend when they finish school. The other children are from a relationship before me.
Ah I see, I was thinking that they were the children of his current relationship and with whom he lived full-time, sorry for the confusion.Thrifty Till 50 Then Spend Till the End
You can please some of the people some of the time, all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time but you can never please all of the people all of the time0 -
Ms_Chocaholic wrote: »Ah I see, I was thinking that they were the children of his current relationship and with whom he lived full-time, sorry for the confusion.
Its okay :-)0
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