Am I being unreasonable?

Prothet_of_Doom

Poppy9 wrote: »

If he has work commitments, he has work commitments.

He's had enough notice.
But I'm not stupid, and I expect a new thread from the Ex about pressure of work and work related bullying from his manager about changing plans at the last minute. It happens. Especially when you've put your !!!! on the line, to achieve something, and it's gone pear shaped.
Like an old boss, telling me, that if a particular machine I was buying off an automation company wasn't on time, I'd be held personally responsible. No thanks for those 75 hour weeks I put in for 5 weeks, and stupid o'clock starts to go to Liecester or Italy, to get it sorted.

pelirocco

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

After reading the links that one member posted re 3rd hand smoke and taking into consideration my daughters health then no, I wouldnt. And I wont be.

I have now given him the opportunity to revert back to his original plan of when he was spending time with her, if he chooses that something else is more important then time with, and the health of, his daughter.. well then so be it. But I do now feel content that I am protecting her from potentially harmful health issues.[/QUOTE


Can you hand on heart say it isnt a case of some tit for tat with your ex?

IMHO keeping children from their relatives is pretty harmful too

clairec79

Could she stay with her grandparents at her dad's place?

System

Oh for goodness sake its only overnight and they've said they wont smoke around her whats the problem?

She's a healthy little girl. She will probably pick up worse from school and will you wrap her up in cotton wool then too?

Sorry but I think your being petty.

Georgiegirl256

Person_one wrote: »

These are the children's grandparents, so they're going to be spending time there as they get older, that's inevitable. If visits are arranged during their dad's contact time there's no reason why he even has to tell you hes taking them to see his parents.

This is a good point. No doubt the Dad will be taking his daughter to see her grandparents anyhow, so IMO one night is not going to make any difference.

If you deny your daughter to be able to spend more time with her grandparents, be prepared to have it come back and bite you on the bum.

Lieja

I also think you're being unreasonable. Causing problems with your daughter's dad is worse for her than one night in a smelly house.

[Deleted User]

I think you are totally over-reacting as well. It's one night and they're not smoking around her. Are you seriously saying that you won't let your daughter spend time with her grandparents because they are smokers???

What about if they give her fizzy orange or coca cola? That's bad for her health too. What if one of them gets ill? Will they not be able to spend time with her in case she catches something off of them?

I grew up in family of heavy smokers. I have never smoked. When I was at uni it was common place for tutors and students to chainsmoke through lectures and tutorials. I had a tutorial on a thursday afternoon when I was the only person in the room who didn't smoke. I used to come home and have a bath and wash all my clothes to get rid of the smell. It was very unpleasant but I coped! I am in my 50s now and extremely healthy, fit and well.

One night in her grandparents house will not damage her for life. Overprotection probably will

peachyprice

Yes, I do think you're making a mountain out of a molehill and wonder how much is actually about your daughter's health and how much is about wielding power.

One night in a house where people have smoked isn't going to harm your daughters health, so that's a moot point. She won't be coming home to you smelling of smoke because she'll be going to her dad's for the rest of the weekend, so that's moot too. Which only leaves you refusing to let her grand parents have her for one night, because you can.

Lets just hope you never need their help with childcare for something more important that a jolly. Because if I were them I'd tell you where to shove it.

fivetide

Another OTT vote here. They aren't smoking around her so they've respected that which in my book makes them ok.

One night is not going to affect your daughter at all. You'd need to wash her clothes etc on returning home and it seems a bit petty when he has at least arranged cover.

I'd let her stay.

Lioness_Twinkletoes

Should have put a poll up, OP. Would have been interesting to see the results.