Getting really frustrated with DH being overweight

paulineb_2

If you cut out the 16 pints youd do far better.

Im 45, its been harder to get the weight off than it was 10 years ago, but certainly not impossible.

continualdiamond

From personal experience no one will change how or what they eat unless they're ready themselves.

No one told me to lose weight and if they did I would of probably been mortified and been really cross with them that they thought it was okay to say something to me.

Just suddenly one day I took myself off to weight watchers, having no idea what I weighed. Totally :eek: when the scales said 20 stone.

Took me 3 years to get rid of 8 stone and in that time my over weight husband never shifted any weight. I reached my goal weight in Feb 2012, kept it off for a year and then decided to have a family. Had my little girl last October and was back at weight watchers 8 weeks later.

So I have been following weight watchers since Jan 09, lost 8 stone, kept it off for a year, had a baby, back at weight watchers and my husband hasn't done anything about his weight at all. One would assume in that amount of time he would of wanted to follow it with me to help me as well as himself but nope.

I have of course many times said something to him about his weight and of course have refused many temptations thinking he might as well but no he doesn't. As you can imagine I resist a lot of temptations, just tonight he sat and ate a whole bag of maltesers, he did ask if I wanted any and of course I did but did I *need* any, no, so didn't have any, even though he did throw one at me I just put it in the bin.

I can only hope that our 5mth old daughter will one day be enough for him to get his weight under control. Perhaps him missing out on taking her swimming might do it as he doesn't want come swimming cos of his size so I'm taking her on my own.

sportbeth

This is not an advert or any sort of spam, just talking from experience. I've recently gone Paleo after a huge recommendation from a male friend of mine with a young family. Him and his wife tried it, in 6 weeks he lost 17 lbs, his wife lost 10 and his kids didn't notice the difference in the family meals they cooked at home.

In a week I've lost 3lbs and it's not the hardest thing in the world to follow. And by what I've read, guys can get into it because in its purest form, you can eat a lot, it just cuts out Gluten (which in turn cuts out a lot of hidden sugars)

If you cook a lot for him I'd suggest sneaking it in by stealth, reading up on it and sneaking it into conversation. Men seem to like the whole caveman concept of this lifestyle and it's not "a diet". Just a few rules to follow.

And in the first week of it it does take a bit of thinking re your meals, but honestly, you sleep better and feel more energetic in about 3 days!

PenguinOfDeath

margaretclare wrote: »

Have you ever watched 'Supersize vs Superskinny' on Channel 4 TV?

Enough examples on there to frighten anyone into making changes.

For me it's "Secret Eaters". Watching an episode or two of this makes me realise the disparity between what I sometimes think I eat and what actually passes my lips on a daily basis

Horace

OP, have you thought about using smaller dinner plates? An average portion of food seems like a tiny amount when put onto a large dinner plate but when you put it on a smaller one it looks as though it is piled high. This can fool the brain into thinking that the body is about to consume a huge amount.

I find having a fruit bowl full of fruit every week also helps with snacking as it is far better to snack on fruit than it is to snack on a Maccy D.

delain

PenguinOfDeath wrote: »

For me it's "Secret Eaters". Watching an episode or two of this makes me realise the disparity between what I sometimes think I eat and what actually passes my lips on a daily basis

That program strikes a chord with me as well!

As I said, I've lost 3st odd in the last year and my OH has made no changes whatsoever

jaylee3

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I'm watching this thread with interest, because my husband is in the same position (same attitude too ) as the OP's husband. When we first met, he was really skinny, possible even too skinny? He's about 5'7/8, and he was about 9 1/2 stone, and a size 28" waist! :eek: Quite often I borrowed his skinny jeans, as they fitted me perfectly. He's now about 15 1/2 stone, massive gut (36" waist) and, I would say obese, if not morbidly obese. Like the OP I've tried to make him see sense, but that's easier said than done, and I could cry with frustration.

When I say that he really needs to lose weight he agrees with me and says that he wants to, but never actually does anything about it. I've lost count of the number of different 'diets' that he has been on.

This HAS to be a wind-up. You call a 36" waist on a MAN, a massive gut?!' And he is MORBIDLY OBESE at 15 and a half stone? Are you actually serious?

I would seriously not be able to stay married to someone with the attitudes of some on this thread. The nagging would drive me nuts.

He probably only 'agrees with you,' because he is afraid not to.

Georgiegirl256

jaylee3 wrote: »

This HAS to be a wind-up. You call a 36" waist on a MAN, a massive gut?!' And he is MORBIDLY OBESE at 15 and a half stone? Are you actually serious?

I would seriously not be able to stay married to someone with the attitudes of some on this thread. The nagging would drive me nuts.

He probably only 'agrees with you,' because he is afraid not to.

36" IS big compared to what he used to be....did you not actually read the part where I said he used to be a 28" waist, and the fact that he has went up in weight by 6 stone? His height is only 5'7-5'8, that's not really that tall for a man, so for someone that height and weight, it's at least obese I would say, I don't know, I haven't checked the charts, and I haven't said that to him either, he knows he's over weight, tries to do something about it, lasts a few weeks, then slips back into a routine of snacking again. He does have a huge gut, (I think you're confusing gut with waist ) he knows this himself, and struggles to sometimes fasten a 36" pair of trousers up sometimes, and if he continues as he is, then he is only going to get bigger.

In the last couples of years, I've gone up 2 stone myself, so I'm not one to preach by any means, I never used to have a sweet tooth, but now I do, so I know how hard it is to break that cycle of unhealthy eating and snacking.

If one of your relatives was overweight, would you not want them to do anything about it? I hardly ever mention it to him, he usually brings the subject up, he knows himself that he needs to do something and get the weight off....if you think this is nagging, well ok dear, whatever you say!

ETA: Just checked a BMI chart, and it is in the obese range, so if you think my post was a wind up, then so be it.

JIL

I worked with a lovely lady. She was a huge personality but she ate too much and even though she worked full time she struggled to walk from the car park to the lift and to her desk due to her excessive weight.
One day her son phoned to say she had suffered an asthma attack. It had been impossible to get her to hospital as the three ambulance crews that turned up could not lift her. She died aged 53 on the pavement outside her house.
The funeral was unusual in that the coffin was huge. It was wheeled into church and small lifting gear aided moving the coffin in and out of the hearse.
I often think of my colleague and the very sad experience and I would not want to put my family through something like that.
If only she had not eaten so much. I believe she would still be with us today.

FBaby

I totally understand how you feel OP. Most overweight people, and many of their relatives are in total denial when it comes to the affect of their extra weight on their health. Because it is becoming more the norm, it is easy to reassure yourself that you are ok. The reality is that any consultant and most GP will say that being in the obese category IS a bomb waiting to explode later in life.

I have family members who have been overweight for quite some time. For many years, it didn't affect them, they remained relatively active and didn't have any health problems, but came 50 and it hit them hard, cholesterol problems, diabetes, needing knee replacement, heart congestion etc...

A friend of mine started to gain weight about 15 years ago, reaching the point of becoming almost obese. Like many, she always denied that she wasn't eating properly, insisting that she cooked all her meals healthily and that she didn't snack and therefore it must me her metabolism. When her GP said that she was boderline obese, he referred her to a multi-discplinary weight management team. She met with dieticians and psychologists. She is a transformed worman. She learnt to accept that she did snack, even if it was 'only' a small cake there and then, and that despite her cooking being not too bad, her portions were twice if not three times too big. It is only once she accepted all this that she made a real change to her habits. It's now been a year, she has lost the weight gradually, is now 2 stones lighter at 56. No diet at all, just stopping the cakes at work, the chocolate in the evening and reducing her portions. She hasalso taken on running.