Getting really frustrated with DH being overweight

Tanswell88

tesuhoha wrote: »

6 stone is dangerously underweight unless you are a midget. How can you still be trying to lose weight? Please be very careful.

Oh gosh no, I have lost six stone and I am still trying to loose weight but only to get to a healthy weight for my height then I will maintain.

tesuhoha

I often think (and I will probably be shouted down over this) that people who overeat to such an extent that they are obese, are not actual food lovers. They shovel down so much that they are not fussy about what they are eating and are not actually enjoying the food. Its more a panic/comfort thing.

It is a wonderful thing to be actually hungry and cook a lovely meal or as in tonight a pile of heavenly pancakes or some other treat. To serve up dinner at the table and have the family sitting round chatting and enjoying the food. If you are always stuffing yourself from the fridge you can never really appreciate these delights as its all the same really whether its a tub of ice cream, a cheesecake or left over pizza.

tesuhoha

Tanswell88 wrote: »

Oh gosh no, I have lost six stone and I am still trying to loose weight but only to get to a healthy weight for my height then I will maintain.

Yes I'm really sorry, I just misread your post.

paulineb_2

I know the BMI chart has its limitations, but hed have to be around 6 feet 4 to be healthy at around 15 and a half stones and thats at the upper end of the scale.

I think hes looking at around a 5 or 6 stones weight loss in total to be a lot healthier.

All I will say is, people have the right to be happy about themselves no matter what weight they are, but I would think the percentage of people unhappy at being 21 stones would far outweigh the percentage of people happy at that weight.

Also, as I said before, I dont think its always about food when you get to that size. People get fat on junk food and huge portions. I believe strongly that theres something wrong when people need to use food as a comfort, if you start eating healthier you can have more food on your plate for the calories you are consuming.

If you treat your body like a toxic waste dump something is wrong and you dont need to work out whats wrong before you make changes, you need to make the changes and realise what you are doing is a form of abuse and I speak from experience.

I doubt very much hed be happy at 18 stones either and I really don't think the OP's husband is happy at 21 stones. Aches, pains, itching, problems with sex life, nil energy and secret eating.

Thats not happy.

Georgiegirl256

margaretclare wrote: »

Have you ever watched 'Supersize vs Superskinny' on Channel 4 TV?

Enough examples on there to frighten anyone into making changes.

You would think so, but in reality it's not often the case at all. In my husbands case, the determination and knowledge that something has to be done probably lasts as long as the programme does, and then it's back to the biscuit barrel and sweetie stash again.

I'm watching this thread with interest, because my husband is in the same position (same attitude too ) as the OP's husband. When we first met, he was really skinny, possible even too skinny? He's about 5'7/8, and he was about 9 1/2 stone, and a size 28" waist! :eek: Quite often I borrowed his skinny jeans, as they fitted me perfectly. He's now about 15 1/2 stone, massive gut (36" waist) and, I would say obese, if not morbidly obese. Like the OP I've tried to make him see sense, but that's easier said than done, and I could cry with frustration.

When I say that he really needs to lose weight he agrees with me and says that he wants to, but never actually does anything about it. I've lost count of the number of different 'diets' that he has been on.

Georgiegirl256

barba wrote: »

I really wish the NHS would charge for treating fat people.

Could buck your OH into shape and avoid him draining the service now and in the future

If they did start doing that, then IMO they should start charging for smokers too....and this is coming from an ex-smoker.

claire16c

tesuhoha wrote: »

Well it is in my family. We enjoy food but it doesn't rule our lives and on the whole we only think about it when planning meals or eating them.

I agree. I tend to find that most of the people I know who are overweight are the people who are on diets all the time.

Im not sure there is much the OP can do apart from a shock from a health professional.

My DH is a personal trainer and he had a client of around 45 training with him, who Im guessing was a similar size to the OPs husband.

He would try to cut back on what he was eating, but was drinking far too much beer so his calorie intake was actually very high, and he was whining it was too hard not to drink on various occasions - baring in mind there was always an occasion - a birthday, a holiday, a bbq weather weekend, a work do etc etc

My husband said to him how many 20st 80 year olds do you see? And this man said 'er none..?' And my DH said 'yes exactly.' And then apparently he went really quiet like it had sunk in.

It was like he just assumed he could carry on like that forever before then.

Its similar to my friends Dad. He had to have a heart attack before he finally gave up smoking.

Gloomendoom

I'm convinced that my wife deliberately buys me clothes that are just a bit too small when my weight starts to creep up.

Mind you, I have done the same to her.

belfastgirl23

Honestly I'd say start with yourself. Habits are catching. I started going to the gym regularly and DH ribbed me about it for a while, then gradually got curious, then decided he would go. Now he goes as often as me. I started eating clean and he adopted some of this. Equally I have caught habits from him, good and bad. When he challenged me I would just say quietly that I felt so much better for making this change. He could see it was true. And then use very positive reinforcement for every small change, keep confirming with him that he is getting better every day. Believe in him and tell him so.

Lead by example, don't nag from the sidelines! Nagging and shock tactics IMHO will just make him more truculent and reluctant.

eamon

As many posters have said diets don't work in the long term. Lifestyle changes have a better chance. But as an overweight 51yo adult male its incredibly difficult to do that. I supposedly eat a relatively good balanced diet, porridge (35g + 250ml semi skimmed milk) for breakfast. Lunch today was mixed bean salad (made from scratch ingredients beans, cucumber, scallions, radish, tomato and dressing) 2 slices of bread with a smidgen of spread, a slice of homemade cauliflower & nut quiche (1/8th of 9" flan dish) and my dinner was a grilled pork rump steak with steamed cabbage, 1/2 a raw onion and 1 wholemeal pitta, small banana, followed by a mug of tea and 2 digestive biscuits. This is typical of my weekly diet (Monday to Friday). But at the weekend I'll probably drink in excess of 16 pints and have fish & chips on the Friday night.
My job is not as active now and it is a real stuggle to exercise adequately and I do like to walk. The bloke being talked about could easily be me. I stuggle with portion control. Luckily I don't like many manufactured things and apart from my fish & chip habit I don't eat junk food. But even thinking about beer I swear the weight is piling on relentlessly.