What would be fair amount for a 21 year old to pay?

JIL

girlycara wrote: »

trust me, don't worry about my finances. I am appauled that people could profit from their kids

I can only imagine you have rich parents and have led a very sheltered life. There's very little profit involved. Some parents are very much living hand to mouth. Is it right that an adult son/daughter should be able to put further stress on the household budget?
I think I read you were a teacher, think of the poorest child in your class, the one whose parent (s) have a really low income. Fast forward a few years. That child is now working. Is it right that they can go out earn money, and live board and rent free?. It would be a selfish child who would not make a contribution, whilst their parents struggled.

PeacefulWaters

girlycara wrote: »

trust me, don't worry about my finances. I am appauled that people could profit from their kids

Okay. I won't worry about your broken finances.

Do you teach children to spell?

FBaby

If I was the son, I would take the clue that it is time to move out. In the end, OP and partner will need to learn to live and make do without his contribution and he will need to learn to look after himself. Might as well do it sooner than later so both can get used to it as early as possible, and this way, no resentment in the way of their relationship.

Cloudydaze

Person_one wrote: »

Plenty of parents can easily afford to let their children live at home for nothing or next to nothing, and in doing so give them a huge boost towards buying their own home. With the average age of first time buyers somewhere around 37 I believe, I wouldn't be so quick to judge those families as 'failures'.

Exactly this.

My rent free time at my parents meant I could save up and buy a flat in London (at a time when flats were just about affordable.) I'm subsequently living in flat with a small mortgage that I would never in a million years be able to afford to buy today (despite earning £50k.)

I don't really care that someone on here think my parents are failures. By letting me live rent free for 18 mths they have set me up for life. I am eternally grateful to them.

Skint_yet_Again

OP - my DS is 18 and earns £14,000 pa before tax/ni. He pays me £220 pcm.

I have been a single parent since he was 7 and managed to keep a roof over our heads with my wages and maintenance from my ex-husb and child benefit.

When he became an adult at 18 and left college my income dropped dramatically and so I told him that he would have to contribute or I would sell our family home and buy somewhere smaller/cheaper for us both to live and get rid of cable tv/broadband. Also I would not be giving him money or buying clothes for him.

He did not want to move so he got a job and agreed to pay half the utility bills, half the tv/broadband (as although I would happily do without I do use it whilst we have it so don't expect him to pay it in full) and half the food (I feed us both for £40 a week incl toiletries & cleaning stuff). The council tax increased from single adult £90 to 2 adult £128 so he pays the £38 a month extra towards this. He does not pay anything towards the mortgage or house maintenance/repairs.

If he left home I would sell and downsize. My gas/electric bills would drop substantially due to his long showers, charging smart phone, laptop etc and would spend less on heating as I can tolerate cooler temperatures and less food. I will not rely on his money to keep me and as with many other parents we are not trying to make money out of our adult children as some have suggested on here .

He has worked out the cost of leaving home and realises it is much cheaper to stay here than pay rent and bills himself.

At the end of the day its down to personal circumstances and personal choice whether parents ask their adult offspring to contribute, and if they don't like it they can always leave.

duchy

Bennifred wrote: »

:eek: Did you say you are a teacher?!

And you *believed* her ? :rotfl: :rotfl:
Spelling, grammar and maturity level debunked that pages ago

Kayalana99

girlycara wrote: »

god i cant believe some peoples attitudes.

I will never take money from my kids. never, in a million years.

And what will your kids learn? My Dad charged me £250 a month when I was on a part time wage - he's a millionaire.

My mum and dad are divorced and sometimes they start going on about how selfish he is and how if they had his kind of money etc....

But because of how I was brought up I've been taught to respect money - not see it as something to throw away & spent on trivial things. My step sister is having her 30k wedding this year and I roll my eyes because they can put a house deposit for that kind of money.

My partners parents had less money - but spoilt him whenever he could. When I met him he was on a £900 wage paying just his car insurance and still needing Wonga to get by.

System

When our son starts full time employment we will be looking at charging him £45 a week. The household bills don't come to that much and he doesn't eat loads but i'll do his laundry and clean his room, much like I do now.


We could charge him more and I know he would pay more if he had a place of his own but he doesn't and £45 a week is fair for what he uses.

duchy

I don't even think the amount matters
If parents CAN comfortably afford to keep their adult kids -and regard helping around the house as fine as the child's contribution to the family-then no issue but I'd hope the kids appreciated how lucky they were.

If parents however feel that a contribution is wanted - Their home-their rules- no-one is forcing the child to stay. I don't think it matters if the contribution is needed or not. It's their home - respect their wishes or jog on .

Most early twenties who are still at home realistically pay something or are expected to contribute in other ways. It's the ones like the OP's son who are taking the pee who are the issue- not helping, not even doing their own washing and then using the emotional blackmailing "I'll leave if you make me pay" number.

I see it as all about respect....not just respect for the value of money (although that's a useful thing to teach your kids obviously) but respect for parents by the child. ....and ultimately the self respect the "child" feels for feeling they are a contributing member of the family.

BitterAndTwisted

What a "fair amount" is what the parent/s decide it should be. A child of 21 earning over thirty grand has a choice: pay up or make other arrangements. After 21 years the parent/s should have done all the nurturing and supporting required. He should be doing his own laundry and a fair share of the household chores, too.