What would be fair amount for a 21 year old to pay?

Fieldsofgold

Judi wrote: »

No. They will always be my children no matter how old they are.

Maybe you would like me to post 'grown up children' next time or have you got a better name for them?

Oh and whats that got to do with the original question.

Stop nit picking!

You don't "bring up " adults.

FBaby

Because I think what it usually mean in practice is that mummy does it all and son takes advantage usually the reason why even though not happy with being charged they continue to stay.

supersaver2

Cloudydaze wrote: »

I'm another 'spoilt brat' whose parents didn't charge me rent when I lived with them (as a working adult).

I've subsequently had both my siblings live with me. One for 6 mths and one for a year. I didn't charge them anything either as both moved to London without jobs and once they got them they then needed time to save up in order to be able to move out. It's nice to be able to help your family when they need it.

I can't honestly say that I noticed a drastic increase in bills.

If the OP needs the money, then it's only fair the son pays. However, I wonder if he moved out, she'd actually be worse off. Unless the food bill is super expensive, then I can't see it actually costing the amount charged.

Agree with your last paragraph and know somebody in that situation at the moment. He feels he can't move out as his Mum and Dad simply could not afford to run the house without his contribution, 3 people really don't cost more than 2 people, yet when he leaves and his contribution is no longer coming in they will be in dire straights.

System

Fieldsofgold wrote: »

You don't "bring up " adults.

Your nit picking.

lostinrates

Judi wrote: »

Your nit picking.

I think the thing is that for you it feels like nit picking, for others on both sides of the divide here, the fact its three adults in a family home, where love but adult hood is key is a fundamental part of the success of such an arrangement, so its a critical part of the issue in what ever terms they arrive at to suit their family/household dynamic.

lostinrates

supersaver2 wrote: »

, 3 people really don't cost more than 2 people, yet when he leaves and his contribution is no longer coming in they will be in dire straights.

This is so sad for him. I hope he finds resolve soon.

I would say however in OUR household three very much do cost more than two. It totally depends on the make up of the household and the individuals usage and requirements.

For example, I am prepared to shiver with no heating, I accept n older person or a very tiny people change that in our house.. Three people out at work at the same time use electricity etc at the same time, those on different schedules, or not at work at all, can more than double a households out going in that area, just as a couple of examples.

Prothet_of_Doom

£31 K you say ? at 21 ? Just a little under £1990 a month, or £459 a week ? Assuming say £300 to his pension, and £500 for savings towards a deposit on a mortgage, that's £1100 a month minus his £300 quid to you.
But you say he's saving for a mortgage? How much is he actually saving. I'd be asking him to prove that he's actually saved anything, and if it works out at less than £800 a month I'd be demanding he explains why he's taking the !!!!.

Looking on www.spareroom.co.uk looks like you can get an all inclusive double room for £300 a month, inclusive of bills, not including food.
I reckon food and toiletries is worth £200 a month, so If he left now, he'd need to spend just about £500. That doesn't include a maid or servants. I'd suggest a fair rent for him is £200 for his room, and 150 towards the food bills plus he cooks 2 meals a week for the family, plus chores around the house, because he's part of the family. And those things don't cost any money.

Or £200 for the room, and he can sort out his own food, and you'll clear a space in the Fridge for him.

That said my wife is very soft with our kids and when the time comes I imagine she'll try to keep them from leaving by making life very comfortable for them.

Georgiegirl256

Judi wrote: »

Your nit picking.

There's a lot of them on this thread Judi, along with people on their high horses too.

If what you do works for you, it's got nothing to do with anyone else, just ignore small minded people.

balletshoes

supersaver2 wrote: »

Agree with your last paragraph and know somebody in that situation at the moment. He feels he can't move out as his Mum and Dad simply could not afford to run the house without his contribution,
3 people really don't cost more than 2 people,
yet when he leaves and his contribution is no longer coming in they will be in dire straights.

in my experience they do, especially adults.

lostinrates

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

There's a lot of them on this thread Judi, along with people on their high horses too.

If what you do works for you, it's got nothing to do with anyone else, just ignore small minded people.

Ultimately every household should do what suits them, surely?

But disagreeing or having a different opinion to each other doesn't necessarily make people small minded IMO.