What would be fair amount for a 21 year old to pay?

lostinrates

balletshoes wrote: »

in my experience they do, especially adults.

Again, not always, three as a relationship might not.....:D less time alone, not necessarily an extra room in use as often, whether that's during relaxing time or for sleep.

Georgiegirl256

lostinrates wrote: »

Ultimately every household should do what suits them, surely? Totally.

But disagreeing or having a different opinion to each other doesn't necessarily make people small minded IMO.

Absolutely, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but some people do have a tendency to pick out the smallest details which have no relation to the topic in hand, for example someone's phrasing or the way they've wrote or explained something, that to me is nitpicking. :cool:

lostinrates

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Absolutely, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but some people do have a tendency to pick out the smallest details which have no relation to the topic in hand, for example someone's phrasing or the way they've wrote or explained something, that to me is nitpicking. :cool:

And that is your opinion. More Often than not I would agree with this interpretation. ( People can argue here on this board about nothing ). Other times I think over a post these phrases can be revealing and it can help someone to see their defaults have been outgrown by the situation. Often the words we use can fill in gaps between the lines. Other times they are just.....words.

Maysie

16 years ago i gave my mum £80 a week i was on 12000 a year basic plus overtime. £80x 52 £4160 divided by 12 £346.66 a month. She needed it and i offered £20 of that £80 more a week when my ex stepdad stole the car she paid for and left. I did my own washing from age 10. If i wanted pizza or something she didn't buy i bought it myself. I bought all my own toiletries and clothes. I was also expected to do some basic housework in living room and kitchen. I had a very messy bedroom and she let me get away with that.

£300 is fine don't beat yourself up.

duchy

Judi wrote: »

Its taken a bit of getting used to but hey, he's not a little boy.

Oh and this thread is about how much to charge an adult dependant board, not slag someone off as to what they do for their adult children.;) You bring up your children how you want and I will mine.

But that's the point - this isn't about CHILDREN -it's about young adults. To me an adult deserves the respect of privacy -but you feel your need to get his room "Mum clean" rather than "son clean" overrules privacy you'd extend to a "real adult" not to enter their private bedroom ? After all if you had a lodger you wouldn't tell them not to clean their room as they couldn't do it well enough and you wouldn't dream of looking close enough to see if they had used any condoms <shudder>.

Do you do things differently to me ...Hell Yes ...... Does it make either of us 100% right or wrong -no but it does show the range of "normal" and how often what we regard as "everyone does it that way" often isn't.

As more kids come home after uni or wait longer to leave home after starting work I think a lot of families are going to be addressing the Conundrum ..... Can you really live as adults ...or are your adult children always going to be your children first and adults second ? If we want them to be adults who happen to live in the family home.... should they be entitled to adult privacy ?

And of course as always we've had mothers still doing their son's cleaning and washing.....but no mention of daughters.

supersaver2

balletshoes wrote: »

in my experience they do, especially adults.

How so just out of interest? The 2 biggest bills we l have will in no way be affected ( mortgage and council tax). My younger brother moved in with me as his house was badly flooded and in all honesty my bills didn't increase having an extra adult in the house. No difference with phone, sky, tv licence or water. His clothes were washed with the rest, I did pay an additional £10.00 for my gas/elec online as I pay by direct debit just in case. An extra £300 from him and I would be quids in! Not hard to understand that people can get in financial difficulties when an adult leaves like in my example given.

balletshoes

supersaver2 wrote: »

How so just out of interest? The 2 biggest bills we l have will in no way be affected ( mortgage and council tax). My younger brother moved in with me as his house was badly flooded and in all honesty my bills didn't increase having an extra adult in the house. No difference with phone, sky, tv licence or water. His clothes were washed with the rest, I did pay an additional £10.00 for my gas/elec online as I pay by direct debit just in case. An extra £300 from him and I would be quids in! Not hard to understand that people can get in financial difficulties when an adult leaves like in my example given.

i didn't say a third adult costs a third more, but they do cost more. Higher food/grocery/toiletries bills, higher electricity/heating usage etc.
The figure for "keep" is going to be different for everyone, and I feel sorry for everyone in a situation where a couple can't afford their household bills if a third person's contribution is no longer there.

lostinrates

supersaver2 wrote: »

How so just out of interest? The 2 biggest bills we l have will in no way be affected ( mortgage and council tax). My younger brother moved in with me as his house was badly flooded how one lives temporarily and how one lives permanently in choices for services and contracts etc might be significant. It is in our household.and in all honesty my bills didn't increase having an extra adult in the house. No difference with phone, our phone bill is not different but our Internet package is more than doubled. Download type is very different. sky,this one is interesting. DH and I don't have a paid for tv package, and in precious house shares and situations with family this has been a. Point of negotiation over payment and contribution. tv licence or water.not metred? We are, it impacts very much so on use of bathrooms, washing machine (people's attitude to rehearing clothes dor example differs.....in our house i would say costs increas and dishwashes. Particularly weekdays. Alone (my DH is away weekdays) I don't fill the dishwasher through the week, with RP here it gets full very quickly as things like reusing mugs is a point of difference, and how often hot meals are required His clothes were washed with the rest,

that doesn't mean no increase in washing!

I did pay an additional £10.00 for my gas/elec online as I pay by direct debit just in case. An extra £300 from him and I would be quids in! Not hard to understand that people can get in financial difficulties when an adult leaves like in my example given.

We have also some quite atypical extra costs here, which aren't relevant to most people, and some atypical theoretical benefits to the plan.

supersaver2

lostinrates wrote: »

We have also some quite atypical extra costs here, which aren't relevant to most people, and some atypical theoretical benefits to the plan.

Of course, all good points. Not metered, my neighbour was and she has less people in her home and pays more ( quite a bit more!) than we do. I do think generally having an extra adult sharing costs will save the householders money otherwise nobody would ever have a lodger!

I can fully understand the op wanting her child to pay rent, but would hate for her to get reliant on the money and struggle when he does finally leave, though I suppose a lodger would be an option until their debts are cleared. The son is in a better position financially and could quite easily move out anytime, op needs to start planning for the lose of that £300.00 because I really don't think ger bills will reduce by the whole £300.00 that she loses.

lostinrates

supersaver2 wrote: »

Of course, all good points. Not metered, my neighbour was and she has less people in her home and pays more ( quite a bit more!) than we do. I do think generally having an extra adult sharing costs will save the householders money otherwise nobody would ever have a lodger!
.

Of course, but lodgng arrangements might be quite different to family living with you (as has been mentioned) both in terms payable and in rights expected over use of the space and facilities!

I'm actually rather well placed to consider the comparison because DH lodges in through the week, pays more than op is asking for just 4 nights a week and i don't think his LL profits obcenely. I am confident it works out well for his LL, he doesn't cook or tend to eat there at all, he Can use the washing machine and they was his bedding for him but most of his washing comes home, just if something urgent needs doing, and he has a great bathroom, but he usually showers at the gym!

Its probably worthy of note that the rent a room scheme limit is what it is, so probably not deemed as 'Exploitatively profitable' to the point of tax worthy ness below that 80 odd quid a week.

(Fwiw DH also would not expect to not tidy his room, have his washing done, but ll often do bedding because they like to use the beds for guests at weekend and probably check room is decent, in mon to fri lets they are often used by people who have shared residency of kids too. . What actually ll of lodgers offer , like households has been different in each one. .