Have I played it to hard to get??

lantanna

pops5588 wrote: »

I take your point but I get the impression from the OP that her issue is not so much that he found her on facebook but more that he sent her a request as she felt it was "too soon"?

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong OP. But if this is what is really your issue then I personally would be baffled. If you were uncomfortable with him finding you and behaving in a stalkerish manner then surely you wouldn't be this disappointed in the change of behaviour on his part...

I guess I just freaked out - I like to take things slow. As I said there is a lot of personal info on FB etc that someone could find out from asking me - not from viewing my FB.


I totally get how all of this could be confusing. I did text and explain at the time that I felt that we didn't know each other well enough to be FB Friends as I only had really good friends on there as so much personal info etc. I also did apologise if I seemed rude - I also stated that it might happen in the future. If I had access to his FB and saw everything that he had been doing for the last how many years - where would be the fun in that!!


I guess I'm also probably a tad insecure and don't want him judging me on old photographs etc.

pops5588

StuC75 wrote: »

You can bet he's probably looked through your timeline and pics.

This is very easily preventable. My settings on FB mean my page can't even be found by a google search. If anyone cares that much about their privacy the tools are there to be used.

HPoirot

If you want to keep FB for close friends only, surely you would change your settings for your timeline to be visible to friends only?

Honestly if I were him I would think you are a tad neurotic. Not a good start.

lantanna

StuC75 wrote: »

He's sounding the Odd one here admitting to looking you up on facebook.. Especially before you have even met - So No you're not Dating him at the moment.

You can bet he's probably looked through your timeline and pics. I had something similar happen last year where they even added as being in a relationship very early on....

Thanks - what happened was he was asking me a question and put my surname in the sentence (which I hadn't told him) & (he hasn't given me his) and then the FB Request came through. This kind of just freaked me out a little.

fiscalfreckles

Personally, I find the whole idea of meeting somebody online a bit weird. If online & texting was all I knew about somebody I'd be far more worried about meeting them in reality without knowing very much about them and probably would look them up too. I don't think he's necessarily a stalker, just curious about you!
He likes you, you seem to like him, I think you are perhaps over-reacting to the FB request (which you don't have to accept). There was no need to be rude, you could have just explained how you felt.

lantanna

HPoirot wrote: »

If you want to keep FB for close friends only, surely you would change your settings for your timeline to be visible to friends only?

Honestly if I were him I would think you are a tad neurotic. Not a good start.

My timeline etc is set for close friends only - but it doesn't stop people looking you up.


Am I the only one here who thinks its a bit strange he tried to add me on FB when we have only been chatting for 2 weeks!! and have never met!

pops5588

lantanna wrote: »

I guess I just freaked out - I like to take things slow. As I said there is a lot of personal info on FB etc that someone could find out from asking me - not from viewing my FB.


I totally get how all of this could be confusing. I did text and explain at the time that I felt that we didn't know each other well enough to be FB Friends as I only had really good friends on there as so much personal info etc. I also did apologise if I seemed rude - I also stated that it might happen in the future. If I had access to his FB and saw everything that he had been doing for the last how many years - where would be the fun in that!!


I guess I'm also probably a tad insecure and don't want him judging me on old photographs etc.

Then you've done all you can. You may have reacted in a bit of an OTT way but you've apologised and that's all you can do. He may just be nursing a bruised ego after being knocked back!

I saw in a slightly earlier post that you said this:

Yes I take on board all of your points about playing too hard to get - I suppose for me it was a different tact to my previous consistent approach of always being available etc to which I always ended up getting hurt.

Please hear me when I say that this says more about the people you have been involved with before than it does about you! please don't alter how you behave naturally because some twozzuck doesn't know how to be a half-decent human being. When the right person comes along, different types of tact won't matter

Fieldsofgold

I can't think of a worst way of getting to know someone than by exchanging texts - no wonder people get crossed wires!

victory

lantanna wrote: »

I guess I just freaked out - I like to take things slow. As I said there is a lot of personal info on FB etc that someone could find out from asking me - not from viewing my FB.


I totally get how all of this could be confusing. I did text and explain at the time that I felt that we didn't know each other well enough to be FB Friends as I only had really good friends on there as so much personal info etc. I also did apologise if I seemed rude - I also stated that it might happen in the future. If I had access to his FB and saw everything that he had been doing for the last how many years - where would be the fun in that!!


I guess I'm also probably a tad insecure and don't want him judging me on old photographs etc.

But fb is private right. They have to be accepted as friend by you and there's alsorts of privacy settings you can have?

System

Well personally I'd have been flattered to know he'd thought enough of you to want to look for you on Google but that's just me.


By playing hard to get you just look as though your not really as into him as he is of you. Having a paddy cause he found you on Facebook will just reinforce that.


You told him where you work? You agreed to meet him but you don't want him to find you on Facebook? Your sending the poor guy mixed messages.