Have I played it to hard to get??

lantanna

pops5588 wrote: »

Then you've done all you can. You may have reacted in a bit of an OTT way but you've apologised and that's all you can do. He may just be nursing a bruised ego after being knocked back!

I saw in a slightly earlier post that you said this:



Please hear me when I say that this says more about the people you have been involved with before than it does about you! please don't alter how you behave naturally because some twozzuck doesn't know how to be a half-decent human being. When the right person comes along, different types of tact won't matter

Thank you !!

stir_crazy

Like the OP, I'm not friends with everyone and their dog online, so I'd be a bit prickly about the FB thing too, esp if we hadn't even met in person! At that stage, the dating profile and contact with each other should be enough to decide if you want to take things further.

I'm glad you've taken on board the PP's thoughts about playing hard to get. Maybe I'm naive but I'm the type who thinks that if you're interested, you should act like it (without going into stalker territory!).

pops5588

lantanna wrote: »

My timeline etc is set for close friends only - but it doesn't stop people looking you up.

If you want to change that you can, just look under privacy settings where it gives you the option to hide your page from a search engine entry.

lantanna wrote: »

Am I the only one here who thinks its a bit strange he tried to add me on FB when we have only been chatting for 2 weeks!! and have never met!

It's a toughie really. Some people think FB is a big deal, some people don't. Some people are more comfortable with the whole online thing than others. A lot of it depends on the person. It may have felt strange and too soon for you but it may have felt like a natural thing to do for him. Who knows. It doesn't necessarily make him a malicious, stalkerish person but if it's made you uncomfortable then he has to respect that.

paulineb_2

fiscalfreckles wrote: »

Personally, I find the whole idea of meeting somebody online a bit weird. If online & texting was all I knew about somebody I'd be far more worried about meeting them in reality without knowing very much about them and probably would look them up too. I don't think he's necessarily a stalker, just curious about you!
He likes you, you see to like him, I think you are perhaps over-reacting to the FB request (which you don't have to accept). There was no need to be rude, you could have just explained how you felt.

Dont think its any different than meeting someone in a pub or somewhere else out and about. Even meeting people through friends isnt a guarantee that someone is going to turn ok, Ive had two long term relationships with people I met through friends that werent positive. No issues with my physical safety, just not positive relationships

For some people online dating is a way to meet people and kick start their social life. I actually only ever met two people I met on a dating website, both people I wouldnt want to see every again (and then some), but if I had met them offline I think Id have had exactly the same experience with them.

I know a few couples who have met online and who are very happy, online dating just gets a bad rep for a few reasons, some people live up to the bad image, other people dont.

lantanna

Re; Online dating


I guess I thought I would just try something new, as with work and my circle of friends I don't get to come across many available men or such - or different people at all really!!


I know of two married couples that met through online dating and know of one that is engaged.


Different strokes for different folks I guess. If you have been fortunate to find your partner through everyday life than you have been very lucky.

System

Unfortunately Facebook has taken away the option of hiding yourself although you can limit who requests your friendship to friends of friends unless you want to block them.

paulineb_2

Im actually in a few meet up groups and thats been good to meet people socially. Im not bothered about dating really, been single a long time, but its good to get out and meet new people, Ive been out 3 times in the last few weeks with a couple of groups and going out twice this weekend with others.

balletshoes

lantanna wrote: »

My timeline etc is set for close friends only - but it doesn't stop people looking you up.


Am I the only one here who thinks its a bit strange he tried to add me on FB when we have only been chatting for 2 weeks!! and have never met!

But people use fb in all sorts of ways ~ maybe he,s a fb~friend junkie who wants to have a huge list of friends, and maybe he friend~requests loads of acquaintances when he finds them on fb? just because he may not use fb in the same way you do, doesnt make him weird or a stalker.

lantanna

balletshoes wrote: »

But people use fb in all sorts of ways ~ maybe he,s a fb~friend junkie who wants to have a huge list of friends, and maybe he friend~requests loads of acquaintances when he finds them on fb? just because he may not use fb in the same way you do, doesnt make him weird or a stalker.

Don't think I used those words. I just explained that I kept FB for really good friends only and then said maybe in the future.

paulineb_2

Perhaps its just another means to chat, some people use facebook chat in the same way they would use msn.