Have I played it to hard to get??

Tropez

If he seemed like a good guy what was with the hard to get stuff?

Despite all that drivel written in gossip mags and the like I can tell you that making it difficult to arrange a date with you is extremely off-putting.

Maybe the FB thing was a bit too much for you and I can understand that, although when you see the number of people who have hundreds of "friends" on FB it isn't that surprising he would look you up there. It probably would have been better to simply respond with something like "We'll see how things go Saturday first " rather than being abrupt but hindsight is a great thing.

Also, how is asking if anything is wrong being like a stalker?

burnoutbabe

But the "I'm going to track you down and work out your surname" is a bit weird.

The usual advice for any internet dating is to not provide all these details - you exchange first names and mobile numbers and not anything more until you meet up (public place) and feel at ease with each other. Until you meet they are just a random stranger.

couponqueen123

southoftheriver wrote: »

Too much drama this early on in the relationship. I had my first date with my now boyfriend on a saturday. He texted asking to see me again and I said "I can only do tomorrow as i'm going back to work and won't be around for 2 weeks." When he remarked that people may think it was too soon I said "I don't play games, we had a good time so if you want to meet up thats fine otherwise we can leave it until I get back!"

He made the right choice

As for fb, just say you prefer to get to know people more. No need for hysterics. People have different thresholds.

ilove yr style hun ,amazing bet he was shocked in to next week and also couldnt belive his luck that you would be able to see him so soon again,

i meet my o/h on a dating site and we got on so well that we meet up the next day aswell, we still together 4 years later

lantanna

burnoutbabe wrote: »

But the "I'm going to track you down and work out your surname" is a bit weird.

The usual advice for any internet dating is to not provide all these details - you exchange first names and mobile numbers and not anything more until you meet up (public place) and feel at ease with each other. Until you meet they are just a random stranger.

Exactly what my approach to it would be but obviously he plays by different rules than the rest of us!!!!


Think this has just reminded me of why I am better off single lol

KiKi

burnoutbabe wrote: »

But the "I'm going to track you down and work out your surname" is a bit weird.

Where did he say he was going to track her down and work out her surname? That's a paraphrase of other things that people on here have said.

He added her on FB, so he obviously found out her surname. But as they have a mutual friend on Facebook, perhaps that's how he knew it. Given that she hadn't put a pic on the dating site, perhaps he looked her up on LinkedIn to see what she looked like. I don't think that's unreasonable, nor do I think it's the same as suggesting he 'tracked her down to work out her surname'.

his_missus

Hi Lantanna,

Maybe the "confusion" comes from how different people use FB. He may well be one of those people who has 100s of "friends" whereas you use it to keep in touch with just close friends. Perhaps, he's one of those people who like to have a nosey at other people's lives. Maybe he saw FB as the next step to getting to know you before you met. Maybe you declining his friend request has made him think you have something to hide and has made him wary.

If you have a meeting arranged for this weekend anyway, text him and ask if he still wants to meet up. If he declines, end of, his loss, blah, blah! If he accepts, start with a clean slate so to speak.

I do understand why you didn't accept his friend request before meeting him though.

If it's meant to be, it will x

getmore4less

He was probably just checking face book to find out what it is that keeps you so F*** busy.

If you keep messing people about playing games the only game you will end up playing is solitaire.

Never turn down a meet without offering alternative availability unless you just don't want to meet.

even if it is a game, soory can't do Sat how about ...

prowla

Ozzuk wrote: »

Why is that odd? If you are meeting what is effectively a complete stranger you met online wouldn't you do some kind of research, either to find out if they are genuine, or just because you are interested?

The OP didn't have to accept, its hardly crime of the century. She also could have accepted but granted only light access.

Time to apologise, explain you overreacted but you'd prefer not to link up on facebook right now but you'd be happy to continue talking/meet up. Or forget it and move on. And games...I online date and its sometime hard to judge how fast to move but game playing is a big turn off, life is too short.

Anyway, good luck!

But everyone you meet is a stranger when you meet them.

themull1

I met my husband on a dating website, and before we met i asked if i could be his facebook friend, primarily checking he had family and friends etc, i somehow felf safer looking on there before i met him in the flesh.

ska_lover

I think you have probably scared him off with your OTT reaction OP.

You are happy to arrange to meet a complete stranger in person, but not to be facebook friends? I really do not get it. You cannot build a relationship yet keep them at arms length at the same time

He will be wondering what you are hiding from him, and you have put yourself across as a game playing, high maintenance,drama queen. I suggest you cut your losses as first impressions count

You know there is a function where you can stop people who are not already on your friends list from searching for you - I suggest you utilize it, if you find it so distressing to get a friends request from some you are trying to build a relationship with.