Have I played it to hard to get??

rpc

Some people are quick onto facebook, others aren't. It means not a lot.

Perhaps, given you are playing hard to get aka "looks like I don't want to be got" and add on the brusque reaction then he might have got the message that you aren't really interested. It might not be what you intended, but it could well be what you are projecting.

Honesty tends to be better than games for adults.

System

Ive got all sorts of people on my Facebook. Some I'm happy that they are there, some I'd rather they weren't. Hence my posts have to be well thought out before I post them.

However, I am happy that I am liked or thought interesting enough for them to want to add me.

Up until recently ive had an open profile but ive had some sh!te flung at me from family members which has meant I needed to close my profile. Blocking them wasn't enough, they could have just opened another account.

greenorange

Strictly my opinion: This all seems childish. Hard to get? Arguing over Facebook?

Scrap the hard to get attitude. It won't get you far. If you like someone, show that, and just be yourself.

As for FaceBook, a simple "I won't accept you just yet, we'll see how our date goes" should suffice.

Then again, I'm not one for playing games, being indirect and worrying over small things. Life's too short IMO, but then again, that might be why I'm single.

System

Lantanna, I'd put away some of those games and grovel a bit. If he's really into you, he'll come round and forgive you.


If he's not, just move on.

GobbledyGook

Hang on, did you say that from Googling/searching online he discovered your surname, your place of work and your facebook profile?

I'm all for getting to know a bit about the people you are chatting too, but that seems excessive and I'd be wary too.

Either he's very good online or your online security is nowhere near as good as you think.

lantanna

GobbledyGook wrote: »

Hang on, did you say that from Googling/searching online he discovered your surname, your place of work and your facebook profile?

I'm all for getting to know a bit about the people you are chatting too, but that seems excessive and I'd be wary too.

Either he's very good online or your online security is nowhere near as good as you think.

I told him my first name and place of work as its a big place - I can only assume that's how he located me on Facebook. Or we do have one mutual friend.


There has been a bit of convo know this morning - but isn't particularly encouraging - he says that he's not well. Maybe he is. I did apologise about he abruptness last night and don't really wish to bring it up again as he didn't comment other than to say its ok I understand.


Anyway there really isn't much more I can do at this stage other than see what happens I guess

burnoutbabe

He sounds stalkerish, fair enough TRYING to look you up on FB but to actually send the FR and mention he has tracked down your surname is just odd really. Anyone would know that sounded a bit intense.

Adding them before a date has even happened would be a no no as well, they are a stranger, why would you want them to see everything about you before you even know if you like them in any way?

I would have backed right off!

(engaged to a man I met on online dating 4 years ago)

lantanna

burnoutbabe wrote: »

Adding them before a date has even happened would be a no no as well, they are a stranger, why would you want them to see everything about you before you even know if you like them in any way?

Thanks this was exactly my issue - Its not that I don't want to be friends - its that want to spend the time getting to know someone and vice versa and not have it told on FB !

Prothet_of_Doom

Back in the real world, phone him up, apologise, invite him around for tea, explain yourself.

KiKi

lantanna wrote: »

Am I the only one here who thinks its a bit strange he tried to add me on FB when we have only been chatting for 2 weeks!! and have never met!

No weirder than going on a date with someone you've never met.

You see FB as something very personal where only your real friends are (the same as me). He probably just sees it another and has hundreds of 'friends' who may or may not be friends. So to him your reaction probably seemed extreme.

Stop playing games of 'waiting a few hours to respond'. That's not a nice thing to do to anyone, and you'd probably not like it if someone did it to you. Saying all that, I hope his ego feels less bruised and the date works out.


Also, to the people who've said it's creepy that he looked you up on Google - they also have a mutual friend on FB, so maybe that's how he knew. There's nothing to say he 'stalked' her.

Equally, is it any more creepy to look someone up on the interwebs than it is to meet them on there?! I don't think so. If I was going on a date with someone whose pictures and info I'd only seen on a dating website, I wouldn't be beyond looking them up on LinkedIn or FB, just to check more about them. I don't think that makes me a stalker.

KiKi