Have I played it to hard to get??

BitterAndTwisted

lantanna wrote: »

Am I the only one here who thinks its a bit strange he tried to add me on FB when we have only been chatting for 2 weeks!! and have never met!

No, you're not the only one. I have my FB profile set to private and NEVER accept friend-requests from people I don't know personally or consider to be actual real-life friends. Even then, there are members of my own family who really need to go!

I think his approach to you on there was odd and I would have found it unwelcome.

Now, if you'd actually met in real life and decided after a while you wanted to be on friendly terms, it might have been a different matter.

fake_smile

I usually just say that I only have close friends on Facebook.

To kick off is very unusual

sweaty_betty

burnoutbabe wrote: »

He sounds stalkerish, fair enough TRYING to look you up on FB but to actually send the FR and mention he has tracked down your surname is just odd really. Anyone would know that sounded a bit intense.

Adding them before a date has even happened would be a no no as well, they are a stranger, why would you want them to see everything about you before you even know if you like them in any way?

I would have backed right off!

(engaged to a man I met on online dating 4 years ago)

I completely agree with this. I'm all for finding out a bit more about people before I meet them face to face, but he went further than I would be comfortable with.

You've left the ball in his court, see what he says/does.

tayforth

OP - I agree that you were a little abrupt, but you've apologised and he should accept that.

Don't try to be someone you're not - you sound like a nice person, and the right guy will come along. If someone doesn't like you because you like them back, that's their problem.

I take it the dating site in question is t*nder? I recently signed up myself, and have had a few guys confess to looking me up on FB if we have a mutual friend - it's easy to do as t*nder uses your FB profile pic! I haven't looked anyone up - I'm the same as you, I like to find out about someone by talking to them rather than FB stalking! And I wouldn't accept a FB request from someone I hadn't met - I'd explain the reasons why (which are the same as yours).

I see that you've recently lost a lot of weight (well done!). Do you feel sensitive about this guy seeing old photos of you, is that why you reacted the way you did? It's totally understandable.

Just leave the ball in his court for now. If he takes the huff, then leave him be and move onto the next guy. :A

Good luck and keep us posted xx

lantanna

Tayforth,


Thanks for that. No it was pof and I didn't put a pic up - he hadn't either but we did swap pics via Whats App but not my FB profile one.


Yes I have lost a lot of weight and my head hasn't yet caught up with my body. My pics on FB are of various weights - up and down the sizes through the years. And yes I don't want to get into a discussion with him about the weight I've lost just yet. However I just wanted to get to know him gradually and looked forward to finding out all about each other through conversation not fb.


Thanks


Re: Those who think I shouted at him or something -I didn't exactly flip out - I just explained that I used fb for close friends only and that - I just felt by his reaction which was immediately to go on the silent treatment that I had annoyed him. I can also see - knowing from the chat that we have had that he might be a bit overly sensitive and that it might of offended him - which I have said to him that I didn't mean to do!


Inside I felt a bit like I had flipped out as I was a little freaked out by it as it caught me off guard and I wasn't prepared for it

mgdavid

lantanna wrote: »

....... -I didn't exactly flip out - ........t

so why did you say you did??
for goodness sake who is the odd one here? Have a go at being normal otherwise rightly or wrongly the guy is liable to think you could be a PITA.

fairydiamond

Seeesh, some people on here are acting like this guy wants to stalk and murder this lady. Not everyone on the internet is a weirdo...

He just sounds really keen! Dying to know more about you, etc. I wouldn't stress so much. Talk a bit more online, get to know him, meet him, then accept friend request.

Good luck, hope it works out for you.:T

bagpussbear

lantanna wrote: »

Am I the only one here who thinks its a bit strange he tried to add me on FB when we have only been chatting for 2 weeks!! and have never met!

No I don't think it's strange to be honest - I think you have been a little harsh on the guy (sorry!). Facebook is a social platform at the end of the day, and you got a friend request from him as he is a new friend (albeit new and casual!). Nothing wrong in that, in my opinion.

You view your FB page as a more private affair, which you only share with more closer friends and relatives, but how was he to know that?

I have friends I've never met, but we share tastes in music, hobbies etc. Doesn't mean they are stalking me, any more than I stalk them. If they want to look at my photos, then go ahead as I don't put anything on FB/online that I would have a problem with someone seeing.

Honestly, if you like this guy, then just give him a buzz and explain, and ask to meet up. I hope things work out.

paulineb_2

Ive had friend requests on facebook from friends of friends and I havent had a clue who they are, its very common for people to request friends of friends on there.

southoftheriver

Too much drama this early on in the relationship. I had my first date with my now boyfriend on a saturday. He texted asking to see me again and I said "I can only do tomorrow as i'm going back to work and won't be around for 2 weeks." When he remarked that people may think it was too soon I said "I don't play games, we had a good time so if you want to meet up thats fine otherwise we can leave it until I get back!"

He made the right choice

As for fb, just say you prefer to get to know people more. No need for hysterics. People have different thresholds.