If I don't move, he will leave me....

Valli

IMO he is being utterly selfish.

He wants to impact on THREE lives so that he can live HIS dream.

Why not buy a 'place in the country' so that you can divide your time between the two?

freeisgood

Hubbie is very introvert, does not make friends easily, it does not bother him to have none, he has lots of is own hobbies mainly woodworking, electronics. We would have to choose wisely as I would not want him to cut himself off from society. I don't think it would be good for him.

His main issue with London is the yobs inconsiderate jo public, and chavs. I tell him you will find these everywhere.

freeisgood

Paddys mum, he has made the threat in the past, that he will just buy a house somewhere and we can all join him if we want to!


He is a lovely man honest! Just very stubborn!!



He is also very intelligent and you know tends to be "truely right "in the end. Maybe I can't see that he is.

Buzzybee90

freeisgood wrote: »

Hubbie is very introvert, does not make friends easily, it does not bother him to have none, he has lots of is own hobbies mainly woodworking, electronics. We would have to choose wisely as I would not want him to cut himself off from society. I don't think it would be good for him.

His main issue with London is the yobs inconsiderate jo public, and chavs. I tell him you will find these everywhere.

I'm yet to see any of the above in my pretty home county village.

[Deleted User]

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

I'm yet to see any of the above in my pretty home county village.

We had some youths throw snowballs at our house 2 years ago. It was horrible

Tiglath

ringo_24601 wrote: »

We had some youths throw snowballs at our house 2 years ago. It was horrible

I bet Victim Support were no help either.

Buzzybee90

ringo_24601 wrote: »

We had some youths throw snowballs at our house 2 years ago. It was horrible

That must have been awful, I do hope you contacted the authorities.

thorsoak

freeisgood wrote: »

I am married to a man who is quite a lot older than me so he will be retiring within the next few years, we have two young children.

I know he has hated london for a long time, but we have met and lived in the London suburbs for 10 years, now. He has got to the point where he wants to move out of london. Unless we can buy a detached house, surrounded by greenery (which we can't as too expensive), he wants out of London.

Now, I drive to work 10 mins away, I am part time self employed, our kids are at an outstanding primary school, my family and freinds are nearby, all my hobbies are a few moments away....you get my point. My whole life and kids lives are here.

I would put up with living in a modest 3 bed semi to keep what we have.
My husband hates London, hates suburbia, absolutely hats semi's, and keeps on suggesting hertfordshire, bedfordshire, chilerns etc. Even these he sees as a compromise, as he would prefer somerset etc...

This makes me sick to the stomach as it would mean no London Life, no museums galleries, art classes etc. And a long commute to work.

I am in a weak position, because he has his own house at the moment that will fund the move. We are renting in a different part of north london at present in the area i grew up in. He has told me in no uncertain terms, that if I don't move, he will buy a small house to live in himself and leave me and the kids in London (buy us a small property.)

I want to be with my husband, he can't stand London, but I can't bear leaving London. I feel he is not being realistic, but he says he wants his "last years" in a place he wants to be! Yeah, the next 30 yrs!

I am seriously depressed over this, it is affecting my work, I just stay in bed when I can. I am shaking just typing this.

We are in stale mate at the mo.

But I know it is my own problem and no one elses, just good to get it out!

His dream is your nightmare - but you are both worrying about delusionsillusions. For you, fear of the unknown is life-threatening. You have always lived in London and the buzz of it, the close proximity of theatres/museums/cafes etc are, you think, necessary to your well-being. But how often do you take your children to the museums/ art galleries/theatres etc? Every week? Every school holiday?

There are excellent schools outside of London, the arts do not drop off the edge of the world at Wembley, there are Costas/Starbucks and De Nero by the cupful in other town centres.

Similarly, your OH's dream could be shattered: country life could well turn out not to be all that he dreams it to be: countryside is loud, noisy and often smelly.

Take the next year or so to explore areas where he thinks he would be happy to move the whole family - as others have said, if you are still working, the children at school he could find himself isolated - at the very least he might find the transportation of children to school very problematical. And you might find that the buzz of small towns/villages very stimulating!

And what about the children?

onlyroz

ringo_24601 wrote: »

We had some youths throw snowballs at our house 2 years ago. It was horrible

The worse we get is the occasional litter in our front garden. Scum.

Buzzybee90

thorsoak wrote: »

His dream is your nightmare - but you are both worrying about delusionsillusions. For you, fear of the unknown is life-threatening. You have always lived in London and the buzz of it, the close proximity of theatres/museums/cafes etc are, you think, necessary to your well-being. But how often do you take your children to the museums/ art galleries/theatres etc? Every week? Every school holiday?

There are excellent schools outside of London, the arts do not drop off the edge of the world at Wembley, there are Costas/Starbucks and De Nero by the cupful in other town centres.

Similarly, your OH's dream could be shattered: country life could well turn out not to be all that he dreams it to be: countryside is loud, noisy and often smelly.

Take the next year or so to explore areas where he thinks he would be happy to move the whole family - as others have said, if you are still working, the children at school he could find himself isolated - at the very least he might find the transportation of children to school very problematical. And you might find that the buzz of small towns/villages very stimulating!

And what about the children?

I'm sorry but where on earth is the countryside noisy? I only ever hear the faint trotting of deer.