If I don't move, he will leave me....

ERICS_MUM

daisiegg wrote: »

We live in Hertfordshire - 30 mins from Liverpool St and 15 mins from a tube station. It is great. Outstanding schools, lovely villages and countryside, but definitely close enough to London. My husband commutes to the City and we frequently go into town for days or evenings out.

I suppose my point is....have you actually been to and looked at these places your husband is interested in? It is a really difficult situation, but have you given his suggestion a proper chance?

I feel the same about Chelmsford in Essex where I've lived for 20 years since moving out from east London. I commuted into the City for 15 years and although it was a nuisance at times, I enjoyed the excitement of being in London but also enjoyed my life in a large town with lots going on and lots of community spirit.

The last train from Liverpool Street leaves at a few mins before midnight which allows plenty of time to get from West End theatres/restaurants etc. The late trains are always packed.

johannalf88

minerva_windsong wrote: »

Genuine question, but why are people so critical of people choosing to raise kids in London? I appreciate it's not the easiest (especially if you have to rely on public transport and have to cart buggies/small people on and off trains and buses), but there are really good parks and loads of activities and if you're not right in the centre of town in my experience it's no dirtier than your average street. Plus I've felt safer here a lot of the time than I have when I lived in rural Lancashire. Obviously where you choose to bring up your kids is up to you, but personally I don't think there's anything particularly awful about raising a family in London.

I totally agree with this. The area of London I live in (zone 3) is full of large houses and flats, and families with pushchairs and dogs going for a Sunday walk in the parks!

I grew up in the country, thought I would hate London, but I love it! I would not hesitate to bring up kids here, but the thought of having them back where the corner shop is not 5 mins away :eek: Would of course send them to the grandparents so they not completely unaware of the country (I admit some bits of country living I would not want them to miss), but why would I not want them to grow up in one of the best cities in the world?!

lostinrates

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

I'm sorry but where on earth is the countryside noisy? I only ever hear the faint trotting of deer.

Tractors, combines, dairies should you live near one. Silage trailers come cutting time hurtling up the road. Horses hammering up the roads on a jolly trot. . Cyclists (cyclists are amazingly noisy conversationalists they shout and its amazing the things they shout about. ) hunts riding past are noisy.


If you live on a picturesque place near a NT site or a town you also get | The odd car rally, cycle race, road running races.


Edit....forgot about the sound of just moved livestock, lambing or calving. Weaning.........

Blackbeard_of_Perranporth

OP. You are self Employed. Is your business transportable? If yes, then the children can get a good school outside of London.

mountainofdebt

Here's hoping your firm never relocates up North or God forbid Wales.

You may need counselling

freeisgood

B of P I am self employed and its taken me 15 yrs to build up a business in north london.

hazyjo

I'm 43 and pretty much a Londoner. Wasn't so keen on Brentwood where I lived for a while, but wouldn't write off Shenfield (next stop up) as they have very fast trains (Stratford then Liv St). It still very much has a London feel to it as so many commute. Not so keen on Chelmsford, but that's my opinion, not cos it's not a nice place, just not for me.

I'm currently in North Chingford - maybe look into places near that such as Sewardstone/High Beech. Feels like you're out in the sticks - really feels like totally in the middle of nowhere, but just on the edge of London and a short drive to the station.

I LOVE Hertford and nearly bought there. Really nice vibe about the place. Have a friend in central Ware and have eaten out there several times. It's nice, safe and quaint - but can't put my finger on it, but not somewhere that'd be top of my list to live. It is lovely, and I have looked at houses there before, but the area would be a medium-sized compromise for me.

LOVE Stansted Mountfitchet. Definitely worth looking into. Used to have a friend who lived down Sunnyside. The central bit of town near there is just lovely. There are several pubs, nice restaurants, shops nearby, Bishop's Stortford on your doorstep for more shops, stuff for the kids... yeah, nice feel about it. Probably the place I'll end up next. I feel like I ought to be living there - if not now, certainly in the future.

Really, don't rule it out. Go visit. If you go to Hertford, head down to the river (in town) and go to the nice little pub there. They have a theatre, hotels, restaurants, etc. Maybe worth a weekend there and in Stansted Mountfitchet, see what you think...

Jx

marisco_2

freeisgood wrote: »

He has told me in no uncertain terms, that if I don't move, he will buy a small house to live in himself and leave me and the kids in London (buy us a small property.)

So if you don't go along with your husbands demands and ultimatums to move, without any opportunity first of discussion or compromise, then he is fully prepared to say 'so long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye'. Leaving your children in a position of having to split their lives between you both. Those are not the actions of a family man who wishes to show consideration and thought to those he loves.

Love, honour, compromise and negotiate. ' Obey or else' has no place in a loving, respectful, healthy relationship. I get the impression that this current stalemate has highlighted how bad communication between you both is and what a fragile state your marriage is in. I sincerely hope that you find it within yourselves to put family life ahead of opposing views about location and lifestyle. The wellbeing and stability of the two young children dependant on you, should be the priority of you both above everything else.

Indout96

hes given you an ultimatum of we move or Im leaving you.

OP, just let him go if he's so desperate for a bigger garden that he'd ditch his wife and kids to get it. What a selfish ****.

I think you need to read the whole thread - from what OP has said he has beenn saying this for the last 10 years since they got together but it has come to a head over the last 2/3 years as it gets closer. I fail to see what is selfish about setting out all the plans in advance and then sticking to them (or wanting too)

Person_one

lostinrates wrote: »

Bit of a leap? How do you 'know' all rural dwellers here are white/Brits?

Edit....eg, what made Wilfred Emmanuel Jones opt for it?

Ah come on, maybe not all of 'em, but its easy to read between the lines sometimes.