If I don't move, he will leave me....

onlyroz

Sorry but I'm with your husband here. London is a dreadful place to raise children, and you can get so much more for your money just by moving a relatively short distance away. I can see why you like your 10 minute commute, but within a 30-45 minute commute there are plenty of lovely places, and if hubby can deal with the school run then that frees up even more of your time.

I agree with the others who suggest that you go for a drive around, and take a look on rightmove etc to see the sort of properties that you'd be able to afford. I know that change is scary, but there's no justification to reject an idea out of hand without at least looking fully into the implications.

juliep58

I was worried that would come across as harsh but I am looking at it from the other side.

I had wanted to move to "the country" for years (I had lived in a rural area for years before our wedding) but had been put off by my husband and 2 daughters. Several years later I was on anti-depressants and on the point of leaving my much loved husband.

I just felt bottom of the decision making process, of no consequence in the family and that no-one cared if I was happy or not.

[Deleted User]

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

Why are neither of you at work?

It's half term this week..

freeisgood

I have "looked at all these sort of places" online but not in the flesh. I don't know why i am so scared to move out That "far ".

I will have to really consider them carefully. We live in a really cosmopolitan area of london at the moment. Can any place come close or are they all "dull" commuter towns? How do I find out the truth about these places?

FBaby

Does your husband work in London?is he the main earner? It sounds like his insistence matches his up coming retirement and decision to move before kids stays secondary school. Your initial post hinted that you've known how he feels for some time. Surely this has come up before? It sounds like his ultimatum has come because from his perspective this was part of the plan but now that it is becoming concrete you are backing off.

freeisgood

Buzzybee LOL I don't work today as half term, and husband works full time freelance, at home. He has a very comfortable time of it, with no commute apart form the odd kiddie pick up.

FBaby, difficult one, he has always expressed the desire to retire away from London, or have a second home to escape to, but now not even a second home is an option. It has gone from "if only" to full blown " I am going to leave London", these past two or three years.

Buzzybee90

ringo_24601 wrote: »

It's half term this week..

Is it? So?

[Deleted User]

freeisgood wrote: »

I have "looked at all these sort of places" online but not in the flesh. I don't know why i am so scared to move out That "far ".

I will have to really consider them carefully. We live in a really cosmopolitan area of London at the moment. Can any place come close or are they all "dull" commuter towns? How do I find out the truth about these places?

Where about are you at the moment? It's hard to compare without knowing

What things do you like doing? Eating out? Theatre, gigs?

If we're eating out, we tend to head to St Albans as it has a few nice places. I'm not saying it's a replacement for all the funky young places in London, but we're neither funky, nor young. My wife goes to a few shows at the arenas in Watford or St Albans.. but it's not hard to get to Wembley from here. You just get use to travelling a little bit.

Sure, it's not Crouch End, Islington or Hampstead - but there's still places to go to and things to do.

Buzzybee90

freeisgood wrote: »

Buzzybee LOL I don't work today as half term, and husband works full time freelance, at home.

Ahh I see! Ok

paddy's_mum

Your husband might be wise to consider very carefully what his life would be like in a detached/remote house when you are out at work most of the daylight hours and the children are away at school all day. Unless he has the gift of making friends easily or has some highly absorbing hobbies, he may find that he has exchanged the hustle of city life for deep loneliness and as an older person, potentially considerable vulnerability.

Of course, forcing you to choose, with a potential outcome of separation, may be exactly his hidden agenda.