Am I being silly?

FBaby

I've just realised that I unconsciously and thanks to the law of coincidences managed to deal with this problem. Both my children have a middle name that starts with the Initial letter both my mum and previous mother in law's names start with! So if they had acted silly, I could have said that I couldn't pick between them so decided to go for a different name but used their first initial out of respect for both!

debsue

Phew, never in all my time on MSE have I started a thread that has gone on so long.

Anyway, thank you to all the people who have been supportive, that is why I come here, the support is (usually) tremendous.

As I said in my thread, I questioned myself, "Am I being silly"? Silly for the want of a better word.

I do believe that I am being "silly", the most precious gift of life is a child, and I will love and cherish her and her parents, no matter what her name is. I will never tell my DD how I feel (at times0 about her choice of name. I think many of us have our insecurities, I have tried so hard with my children to make them feel loved and secure (as do we all), in the main as a single parent, so in a way I do feel "passed over".

However I have been called childish and selfish by people who judge me on the basis of one post. We all have our opinions and I know that I aired my own insecurities on a public forum and I should expect that some will abuse their own anonimity to flame me.

Thank you again for those that supported me, and to those that dont, I hope that they learn to be more tolerant.

KateBob

The solution in my family is no middle names.

My grandpa didn't have one, neither does my dad or his siblings, nor myself and my brother and my children don't.

That way you chose a name you like and that's it.

Georgiegirl256

Weddings used to be simple to organise, look at some of them now, the politics behind them, it seems the naming if a child is going the same way!

Person_one

debsue wrote: »

Phew, never in all my time on MSE have I started a thread that has gone on so long.

Anyway, thank you to all the people who have been supportive, that is why I come here, the support is (usually) tremendous.

As I said in my thread, I questioned myself, "Am I being silly"? Silly for the want of a better word.

I do believe that I am being "silly", the most precious gift of life is a child, and I will love and cherish her and her parents, no matter what her name is. I will never tell my DD how I feel (at times0 about her choice of name. I think many of us have our insecurities, I have tried so hard with my children to make them feel loved and secure (as do we all), in the main as a single parent, so in a way I do feel "passed over".

However I have been called childish and selfish by people who judge me on the basis of one post. We all have our opinions and I know that I aired my own insecurities on a public forum and I should expect that some will abuse their own anonimity to flame me.

Thank you again for those that supported me, and to those that dont, I hope that they learn to be more tolerant.

This kind of 'thanks' post is getting to be nearly as common as 'I bet you'd all respond differently if the genders were reversed'. I think I'll have to add it to the MSE bingo card.

So basically it's 'thanks to everyone who told me what I wanted to hear, everyone who didn't is just a big meanie'.

Kayalana99

What stands out to me is that I called her childish and she called me a robot...and yet the complaint is we judged her on one post?

If you catch my drift...

Pollycat

debsue wrote: »

Now I am really hurt, I do not want them to name this baby (or any baby) after me, but I feel in a way that I am being snubbed.

debsue wrote: »

I have tried so hard with my children to make them feel loved and secure (as do we all), in the main as a single parent, so in a way I do feel "passed over".

Either you want them to name the baby after you or you don't.

If you don't, then why feel snubbed or passed over?

Personally, I think you really do - deep down - wish that the child had been named after you.

Or is it a case of "I don't want them to name the baby after me but I don't want them to name the baby after his Mother either."

I think those 'underlying issues' that you refer to in your later post (# 9) are much, much bigger than what this baby is going to be called.

I hope that you are very good at concealing your feelings as I can see this blowing up and damaging relationships badly.

Basically, it's not really any of your business what your daughter & partner call their baby so don't try to make it so.

Georgiegirl256

Pollycat wrote: »

Or is it a case of "I don't want them to name the baby after me but I don't want them to name the baby after his Mother either."

I think this exactly the reason.

As someone else said, it would be interested to know what the MIL's name is, but I guess we'll never know.

totallybored

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

As someone else said, it would be interested to know what the MIL's name is, but I guess we'll never know.

Indeed, knowing the names would be useful. No offence to any Deborahs or Sue/ Susans but they're not names you'd normally give to a baby now as others have said they're now middle aged lady names. If the MIL has a name that doesn't seem as dated then it would make sense to use hers.

However, if the MIL is called Sharon or Pauline or that generation name then I could maybe understand being a bit annoyed.

mummyroysof3

I think as a grandpArent this may be the first of many decisions they will make that you aren't happy about but in the end it is their child so you are possibly going to have to learn to let things go over your head in order to not get so stressed about things you have no control over.