Am I being silly?

paulineb_2

MrsE wrote: »

Contribute? Do you mean have a snipe?

Maybe the OP doesn't have anyone in her real life she feels she can share this with?

Maybe on the families forum she thought she might get a friendly ear!!!!!!!!

This post.

Followed two posts later by the sniff of blood comment.

The thing is, if you don't make it clear whose posts you have an issue with, you can hardly object when someone asks if you are referring to them.

Doesn't mean they have a guilty conscience necessarily, they may just want clarification.

MrsE_2

paulineb wrote: »

I already posted that I got the post number wrong. It was post 72 where Yorkies post was quoted. And given that it was I can see why they would think the comments made were being directed at them.

We cross posted.
Please see below, nothing personal at yorkie1 in post 72 or 74.
I quoted them, to answer about others.

coolcait

Post 72, quoting yorkie, posted at 6.33pm on Saturday:

MrsE wrote: »

Contribute? Do you mean have a snipe?

Maybe the OP doesn't have anyone in her real life she feels she can share this with?

Maybe on the families forum she thought she might get a friendly ear!!!!!!!!

Post 74, posted at 6.35pm on Saturday:

MrsE wrote: »

OP - trust me & call it quits.
Some of them are getting the sniff of blood & there's no holding them back.......

Most recent post:

MrsE wrote: »

Thank you, I didn't quote Yorkie1.
I didn't mention their name.
I said something in general, but yet I'm referencing them?
Yorkie1 is looking really hard to take offence & you're looking really hard for them....
If I had wanted to say something to them, I would be upfront & clear.
I don't do sniddy.

You may not have meant to point the finger at Yorkie when you stated that "some... are getting the sniff of blood, etc". But by posting that comment immediately after you had quoted Yorkie's post, that's how it can come across.

Just as the OP's daughter may not have meant to snub her mother, but that's how it has come across to the OP.

Your further accusations to and about Yorkie such 'Guilty conscience??' and "Yorkie1 is looking really hard to take offence" make it look less likely that the original juxtaposition of posts was accidental.

Just as the OP's daughter's motives in choosing a name might look different if she chose to have her MIL as a birth partner, and didn't let the OP see the baby until weeks after it was born.

Just to be clear - I would be quite happy to make the above points to both you and the OP in real-life.

However, I do tend to be blunter in real life, where I don't feel constrained by even the slightest vestige of 'tea and sympathy' syndrome

Edited to add: I see there has been a lot of cross-posting, covering the points above.

MrsE_2

paulineb wrote: »

This post.

Followed two posts later by the sniff of blood comment.

The thing is, if you don't make it clear whose posts you have an issue with, you can hardly object when someone asks if you are referring to them.

Doesn't mean they have a guilty conscience necessarily, they may just want clarification.

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Wasn't looking hard, just remembered that you'd said it that's all.

You're seeing things that aren't there, there seems to be an epidemic of this on mse lately.
I'm nothing if not direct,

MrsE_2

coolcait wrote: »

Post 72, quoting yorkie, posted at 6.33pm on Saturday:



Post 74, posted at 6.35pm on Saturday:



Most recent post:



You may not have meant to point the finger at Yorkie when you stated that "some... are getting the sniff of blood, etc". But by posting that comment immediately after you had quoted Yorkie's post, that's how it can come across.

Just as the OP's daughter may not have meant to snub her mother, but that's how it has come across to the OP.

Your further accusations to and about Yorkie such 'Guilty conscience??' and "Yorkie1 is looking really hard to take offence" make it look less likely that the original juxtaposition of posts was accidental.

Just as the OP's daughter's motives in choosing a name might look different if she chose to have her MIL as a birth partner, and didn't let the OP see the baby until weeks after it was born.

Just to be clear - I would be quite happy to make the above points to both you and the OP in real-life.

However, I do tend to be blunter in real life, where I don't feel constrained by even the slightest vestige of 'tea and sympathy' syndrome

Ah well, at least the OP is getting a break:)

coolcait

MrsE wrote: »

Ah well, at least the OP is getting a break:)

A break from what? Being disagreed with? Which is a normal part of life.

Kynthia

So as well as the stress of having their first born, dealing with pregnancy symptoms, fear of becoming parents and facing the unknown of labour, new parents now have to add 'not accidently snubbing their family when naming their child' into the equation! If you do have a special relationship with your daughter then why are you letting a name bother you? What is your daughter supposed to do, only use names from both sides of the family for their first born or none at all? It's probably hard enough for your daughter and son in law to both agree on a name without having to think about how family members will react. I'm glad we haven't decided on a name for our baby yet as I really don't need self indulgent or selfish reactions from others at this time, so I'm glad you aren't going to say anything. If you're going to see snubs where none are probably intended then no-one can stop you, but you'll see them everywhere and never be happy. Try to let them go and enjoy your family.

Bennifred

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

Is it Daisy??

poet123 wrote: »

I thought that too!

:think: Either Daisy or Ermintrude......:D

Jacqu79

Bennifred wrote: »

:think: Either Daisy or Ermintrude......:D

I just let out the loudest guffaw of laughter at that, probably woken the whole house up. Thanks.:mad::rotfl::D

Kaz2904

Aaaaanyway.....
My firstborn was a girl. I was very excited about being pregnant and wanted to choose or think about names etc and DH won't having any of it! My best friend bought me a baby book when I was 8 months gone in desperation but still nothing. "We'll see when it's born" he would say argh!
Best friend and my sister and I had a lovely day reading the book and thinking of names. At one point, I got to Reilly. "Ooh, that's lovely for a boy" we all cooed. Until I said my surname. Then we all fell about laughing and drew a line through it!
We had a girl. She had no name for 2 days and I kept badgering DH at visiting time but he wasn't going to rush. So I sat there one afternoon and said "right. What's her name, look at her while I read out names that are ok...."
We chose her first name (with DH wondering what all the rush was about!) but no joy on the middle name. I made him ring the family when he got home to say what her name was and then plodded on. The following evening, DH wasn't able to visit. Nor was anyone else. I spoke to my Uncle on the phone and he and others had decided her middle name should be Ann(e). As I left the pay phone, the night shift midwives greeted me, "any middle name for that baby yet?! We think it should be Ann(e)."
Later on I phoned DH from the pay phone and said about the middle name, "oh, well, we've all been having a think and Mum suggested Ann(e)"
I had specifically said to DH that I didn't want her to have the initials CAR but felt that as 3 separate groups of people felt she was a ... Ann(e) .... , who was I to argue.

My Granddad died about 2 weeks before I realised I was pregnant with DS. When he was born, I suggested the name Edward as one of DS's names in memory of Granddad (his middle name). DS is .... Edward ....
My sister then used Edward as her boy's middle name 3 years later.

My half sister then discussed with me when she was pregnant about using Edward as a middle name for HER son as a family name as our two boys had it.
I found it hard to say to her but felt I had to point out to her that she already had one boy who didn't have Edward as his middle name so might feel left out if she was making it a family name and that also (no offence) but it was our boys' great-grandfather's name BUT as he was my mothers father and OUR father hated my mother, perhaps she should consider honouring her Dad's ex-father in law. (Bit complicated eh?).
Thankfully, she fully understood and realised that I wasn't at all offended by her choice but the way it was phrased could have really hurt her first son and her Dad (sorry, our Dad).

Phew. Naming's not easy. I told DH this, that's why I wanted a head start!

Whilst we were trying to choose DS's name, we were in our lounge, DS on the floor with our friends there. I eh looking through the book and eventually crossed of all names except DS's. I said to DH, "Oh, we only have ..... Left." He said we should get another name book the next day. I argued that when you only have one name left from a whole book, that is the name for the baby. And so he is. Boy does he suit his name, even the definition of it!