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Am I being silly?

Just need some opinions before I open my big mouth! Both my daughters are pregnant and I will become a nanna for the first and second time this year. I am really excited and very proud of both my girls.

My eldest daughter has found out this week that she is having a girl, They have chosen a very pretty first name, however the second name will be her partners mothers name. Now I am really hurt, I do not want them to name this baby (or any baby) after me, but I feel in a way that I am being snubbed.

Is it just me or would you feel the same?
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Comments

  • Browntoa
    Browntoa Posts: 49,612 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Don't take it personally , may be something simple like your daughter chose the first name so her partner chose the second

    Don't let it spoil everything
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    Long term forum member
  • tyllwyd
    tyllwyd Posts: 5,496 Forumite
    I don't think you should take it personally. We had that same dilemma with my first daughter and ended up giving her both grandmothers' names as her middle names. But then when I had a second daughter, it was a bit of a shame we'd used up both names on the first daughter! It's difficult and stressful enough trying to decide on baby names without members of the family getting funny about it, so I'd say just let it pass, don't let it spoil anything. (oops just realised I used almost exactly the same phrase as the previous poster!)
  • Yeah, you're being silly.

    But you'll get over it pretty quickly. Say nothing!
  • I agree.. also being a Nanna brings up issues and emotions that you maybe havent had to deal with before and there will be issues about "sharing" this child with another set of grandparents. You will probably have thoughts about whether the other grandma is seeing more of your grandchild, whether your grandchild feels the same towards both of you etc.

    The way you handle this properly now (i.e. by ignoring it) will set you in good stead for the future.

    I might have felt the same btw, but I would keep it to myself.

    Hope it all goes well, you are going to have such an exciting year!
  • Spendless
    Spendless Posts: 24,800 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    My mother 'moaned' to my sister when I was first pregnant, because the first and middle names we had initially picked were the ones of my husband's late grandfather and step-grandather. We picked them because they were names in the family we liked, they were still in use generations on, not dated names and on my side of the family I didn't like the sound of the names that were my Grandfathers, one of which is still is use as my Dad was called after his.

    Needless to say she got over it, when I subsequently lost the baby. We went on to use one of the names as my son's middle name, Several years on and I call my youngest child after a variant of my maternal Grandmothers name.


    I'd let it go.
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 35,917 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Savvy Shopper!
    TBH, I've never seen the point of a second name - unless it's going to be used e.g. Billie-Jo. :)

    I think you're probably over-reacting about the choice of the second name.

    Maybe your daughter and partner think that his Mum's name goes better with the first name they've chosen...?

    Try not to let it upset you but if you can't do that, make damn sure you don't let it show.

    Congratulations on your 2 lots of good news.
  • Alikay
    Alikay Posts: 5,147 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    It may also be that your DD's MIL has one of those classic names (like Elizabeth or Catherine) which remains quite popular year-in-year-out, and perhaps yours is one of those names which was popular in the 50's and 60's but not any more, so has become a name now associated with middle aged ladies?

    It doesn't mean your DD loves you less, just that she thinks the other name is more suitable for a child of the 2010's. FWIW, my younger cousins were both given their grandma's names as a middle name in the late 60's: Not so bad for sister 1 who got "Mary" but sister 2 was less happy about getting "Ethel"!
  • debsue
    debsue Posts: 467 Forumite
    Alikay wrote: »
    It may also be that your DD's MIL has one of those classic names (like Elizabeth or Catherine) which remains quite popular year-in-year-out, and perhaps yours is one of those names which was popular in the 50's and 60's but not any more, so has become a name now associated with middle aged ladies?

    It doesn't mean your DD loves you less, just that she thinks the other name is more suitable for a child of the 2010's. FWIW, my younger cousins were both given their grandma's names as a middle name in the late 60's: Not so bad for sister 1 who got "Mary" but sister 2 was less happy about getting "Ethel"!

    I can promise you that it is not a classic name! as I said I wouldnt want her to call the baby after me in any case. I suppose there are underlying issues as well which i cannot really go into, it is a long story and this is just the icing on the cake, IYKWIM. Thanks for the replies x
  • victory
    victory Posts: 16,188 Forumite
    debsue wrote: »
    I can promise you that it is not a classic name! as I said I wouldnt want her to call the baby after me in any case. I suppose there are underlying issues as well which i cannot really go into, it is a long story and this is just the icing on the cake, IYKWIM. Thanks for the replies x

    It was never just going to be about the second name was it?;)
    misspiggy wrote: »
    I'm sure you're an angel in disguise Victory :)
  • MrsE_2
    MrsE_2 Posts: 24,161 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Browntoa wrote: »
    Don't take it personally , may be something simple like your daughter chose the first name so her partner chose the second

    Don't let it spoil everything

    My guess is it's this.
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