Am I being silly?

Georgiegirl256

Sorry OP, but this is going to sound blunt, but here goes....If your name is either Deborah or Susan (going by your user name), then I can't really blame them, they're very 60's/70's names....and yes, I can say that, as my name is Deborah too!

But as you say, there is more to this than meets the eye, and I'm really sorry you're feeling so bad.

I have a middle name, which as a child I hated, but now I love it! My cousins from my Mam's brother all have about 2 or 3 middle names each, so I can see why you might feel snubbed, as there is nothing stopping them having as many middle names as they want (within reason of course!), but like someone says, it could be something simple like your daughter chose the first name and her OH chose the middle name?

Mojisola

debsue wrote: »

I suppose there are underlying issues as well which i cannot really go into, it is a long story and this is just the icing on the cake, IYKWIM.

This is usually the case. If all the relationships were good, the names they chose wouldn't have bothered you.

There have been several threads recently where posters have been told that they were over-reacting to a small situation but when that small thing is just another example of a long-running problem, it can be upsetting.

Don't get fixated on the child's names - if there's something you can do about the central issue, work on that; if not, step back a bit and protect yourself.

Pollycat

debsue wrote: »

I can promise you that it is not a classic name! as I said I wouldnt want her to call the baby after me in any case. I suppose there are underlying issues as well which i cannot really go into, it is a long story and this is just the icing on the cake, IYKWIM. Thanks for the replies x

I did think your post was a bit 'storm in a tea-cup' IYSWIM, but having read your later post, I think you really should not - under any circumstances - do this:

debsue wrote: »

Just need some opinions before I open my big mouth!

bagpussbear

I think you are taking it a little too personally.

Could be they just really like the name :-)

Don't let it spoil things for what will be a joyous occasion.

RobotsinDisguse

As a pregnant lady with an odd, jealous and self centred mother I realise I'm probably projecting here (!) ... And without knowing your other issues it's kind of a moot point anyway, But yes, on what you've said, you are being silly.

What they choose to name their child is really nothing to do with anyone else.

Maybe they like the name?

Maybe it's family tradition on the husband's side?

Maybe the husband made a promise when he was younger?

Maybe your other child plans on using your name and they don't want the same middle names for the children??

Maybe that grandparent has been super supportive and not nit-picky and so they wish to honour her?!

Personally I think the only mistake they've made is telling you in advance... So you've had time to get your knickers in a twist.

Person_one

debsue wrote: »

I can promise you that it is not a classic name! as I said I wouldnt want her to call the baby after me in any case. I suppose there are underlying issues as well which i cannot really go into, it is a long story and this is just the icing on the cake, IYKWIM. Thanks for the replies x

Well, I have to ask why you've posted then?

In isolation, yes you're being a bit silly. If there are other issues, its less clear, but without knowing those other issues none of us can make any remotely useful comments.

bluebeary

i dont think you should be thinking about names at all, you are the mother of the two expectant mothers and so therefore you will probably be the predominant grandmother who gets to see your grand children more

your daughters are more likely to come to you for advice and babysitting so look at it that way

marisco_2

You say that you are really excited for and proud of your girls. Yet almost in the same breath you explain that you are really hurt by, and feel snubbed about something as simple and everyday, as one of them choosing to name their baby after another very close relative.

The decision to use this name may have been taken simply because they like it and it goes with the first name that has been chosen. Or it could be a family tradition within your daughters husbands family. That you jump to the conclusion that this has been done in an attempt to cause you upset is rather worrying. I doubt this thought ever crossed your daughter or son-in-laws mind at all and I think they would be very surprised that you feel this way.

I think you need to reflect on your relationship with her. She will pick up on any negative feelings or resentment you are carrying and it would be a shame if that jeopardised what should be a very happy family time. All that should matter is that this child arrives safely and is healthy. Any name given to it is a secondary matter and not important at all.

redpete

debsue wrote: »

Am I being silly?

Yes

Is it just me

There are probably people who would feel the same

or would you feel the same?

Absolutely not.

emz118

Our first baby (we don't know what gender) is due a week on Wednesday.


It is for this very reason that we haven't told anyone our name choices... we have chosen them because we like them, everyone else will get used to them and when baby is here they will be far more concerned with gender, weight and getting many many snuggles!!!


Please don't say anything to your daughter, she will already be hormonal and it will escalate into more than it needs to!