Am I being silly?

hazyjo

Too many to read them all, but wanted to say it may be that they're planning on more kids and hoping for more girls and will use your name then as a middle (or first) name. Obviously they might not and you'll miss out. Who knows why they picked his side of the family's name first in that case - maybe she's older than you or on her last legs and you don't know about it.

I remember my mum and her sister being upset when my cousin didn't use his brother's name Nigel as a middle name (who had died). I'm not really one who thinks just because someone has died, their name should be used.

May also be that the name is a family name (as others have mentioned). My middle name was my mum's mum's name, and all the first born girls have it as a middle name.

May be that they just liked it, or maybe it was a much loved grandmother's name/middle name too. Who knows.

If you really feel the need to enqure further, do. But personally I would just leave it and try not to take it personally.

Jx

lostinrates

Op,

I have been hesitation to type this, but....I hope its taken in the positive spirit meant.



DH and I (as well as talking cat names ) planned children names. We talked about family names form my side and his side and which we'd want to use knowing that some choices would be difficult. We'd decided to use a male family name from each of our father's lines for middle names for a son should we have one, and a name from my mothers family for a girl should we have one. ( one of the dogs is named after dh's mother:))

As it happens we cannot have children at all. I think our parents would probably be quite happy to have a grandchild called ANYTHING now.

I think that you are all very lucky and they could have opted to call her banana milkshake and you'd still be lucky. . I hope your grandchildren are healthy and happy.

Pollycat

lostinrates wrote: »

As it happens we cannot have children at all. I think our parents would probably be quite happy to have a grandchild called ANYTHING now.

I think that you are all very lucky and they could have opted to call her banana milkshake and you'd still be lucky. . I hope your grandchildren are healthy and happy.

Puts things into perspective, lostinrates.

Georgiegirl256

Pollycat wrote: »

Puts things into perspective, lostinrates.

Yes, I thought that too.

lostinrates

Pollycat wrote: »

Puts things into perspective, lostinrates.

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Yes, I thought that too.

Tbc, I'm not belittling OP's feelings. I think things that we can acknowledge to ourselves as 'silly' can still feel a bit 'sharp' but just that......really, weighed in the balance, I think I think she is still getting a good deal of life's cards here . Hopefully that takes the sting out of the tail.

Violetta_2

debsue wrote: »

Phew, never in all my time on MSE have I started a thread that has gone on so long.

Anyway, thank you to all the people who have been supportive, that is why I come here, the support is (usually) tremendous.

As I said in my thread, I questioned myself, "Am I being silly"? Silly for the want of a better word.

I do believe that I am being "silly", the most precious gift of life is a child, and I will love and cherish her and her parents, no matter what her name is. I will never tell my DD how I feel (at times0 about her choice of name. I think many of us have our insecurities, I have tried so hard with my children to make them feel loved and secure (as do we all), in the main as a single parent, so in a way I do feel "passed over".

However I have been called childish and selfish by people who judge me on the basis of one post. We all have our opinions and I know that I aired my own insecurities on a public forum and I should expect that some will abuse their own anonimity to flame me.

Thank you again for those that supported me, and to those that dont, I hope that they learn to be more tolerant.

I think this is for the best just love & enjoy your grandchildren when you can.
I can't forget that the first words out of my MIL's mouth when told my dd's name were- "How do I compete with a dead grandmother?" DD had been rushed into scbu & I hated the thought of her not having a name & we gave her my mum's name as a middle name. Anyway if there was a competition , which of course it wasn't surely by getting to meet her granddaughter she won hands down.